Maybe one of Darlene’s naaaaaaaaaybors is watching her horse. Hey-oh! In breaking news, Heidi Montag and her husband, Steve Sanders, reportedly called the police on Heidi’s mother, Darlene, when she wouldn’t leave their private property. When Heidi spoke with TMZ (go figure) she robotically said, “My mom just showed up to the house unannounced…and after […]
the hills
That Salad Doesn’t Have a Fighting Chance
Ugh, that poor salad. The last thing it sees before it will more than likely be vomited out in 35 minutes is Teefs Pats. What a world. Audrina was out filming more scenes for the final season of The Hills with Raspy Coke Voice (Kristin Cavallari) over the weekend at Toast restaurant in Beverly Hills […]
Some “Hills” Castmembers Replaced by Robots…Just Like “Small Wonder” Did With Vicki. Worked Then, Works Now.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Do. Not. Get. The. Robots. Wet. They. Will. Combust. I.Do. Not. Compute. Stephanie. Pratt. Beep. Beep. Beep. When. Did. She. Turn. Into. Tits. On. A. Stick? Beep. Beep. Buzzeep. That’s my best “typing robot” I can possibly do. Trust me, it sounded way better when I was saying it out loud and […]
“The Hills” Gets Canceled….as Does My Life.
You know what? I think it’s pretty damn rude that “The Hills” will be ending before the actual world ends. I always assumed it would be a neck and neck (or rack and rack) race to the finish line of world implosion. MTV, who is now officially dead to me, has decided that we’ve all […]
Watching Them Film Scenes For “The Hills” is More Interesting Than Actually Watching “The Hills”
Teefs Pats, Raspy Coke Voice, and Boobs-Bot all were recently spotted at Villa Blanca restaurant in Beverly Hills, CA the other day filming new and exciting scenes for the upcoming season of “The Hills.” Well, they were filming scenes. The “excitement” part lies within the rack of Teefs Pats. I have a feeling this is […]
Raspy Coke Voice and Teefs Pats Film “Scenes” for the New Season of “The Hills.”
Remember when you were little and your parents would take you to the mall to sit on Santa’s lap and take your yearly Christmas pictures? Remember how much you loved that when you were little? Remember you thought it was the best thing when you were at the age when you totally understood who Santa […]
Who the Hell Tried to Kidnap Enzo?
I swear to God if they hurt Enzo in any way I swear to God someone will pay. I’m kidding, they can sell him on the black market. I dont’ care. Although, Enzo was the first person I thought of when TMZ reported that someone placed a 911 call at Heidi and Spencer’s house of […]
The Hills Reunion. Thanks 2010!
So far 2010 is turning out to be a real mind crowd pleaser for me. First, the world did not, in fact, implode as I was pretty sure it would and, second, my eyes get to witness a mini Hills reunion of sorts. Celebrating the New Year at Beso in Hollywood were some Hills favorites […]
10 Ways to Save "The Hills"
As you know, The Hills has been hitting tilt on the “shit-0-meter” as of recent and by “recent” I mean “since season 2.” As much as I want to give Kristin Cavallari the spanking of her life and send her to my her room, she’s just not cutting it and the show is sliding down […]
With the Heat in LA, I'm Sure Heidi's Outfit Smells Like the Basement of a Church
Ah yes, two of America’s sweethearts, Audrina Patridge and Heidi Montag, filmed scenes for an upcoming episode of this little show known as “The Hills” in LA yesterday. Audrina, playing the role of the beaver-toofed-dead-eyed whore stands and listens to Heidi as the cameras roll. I will only assume that Heidi is telling her […]
So, Uh, This is the Future of The Hills
Good morning. If you’re like me (a loser) and have been up at night trying to figure out how they’ll continue to shoot The Hills without the beloved Lauren Conrad, I may just have the answer for you. You see, the wondrous photos above are from actual scenes that are being shot for the new […]
American Royalty
Wow, everyone is totally committed to the script of The Hills. I mean, this circus consists of a wedding dress, a priest, and tuxedos! Thankfully, Brody is being budget conscience and is sporting some sneakers with his suit. Anyway, America has new royalty. IBBB is proud to present “Mr and Mrs Chin-Boobs Pratt Sanders. Similar […]
Heidi Reads Her Lines While Driving Away from the Church
Heidi looks like she’s trying to perform long-division on her hand and Spencer lets us know just how small is penis actually is. I think it’s great that they can fit an entire portion of the script directly on Heidi’s hand. I guess it makes sense since 20 out of the 22 minutes of the […]
If Brent Bolhouse Didn't Ever Want to Be Around Spencer, He Probably Shouldn't Have Gone to Their Wedding and Stood in the Front Row
It’s fun to play “Where’s Waldo” with past cast members of The Hills at Heidi and Steve Sanders wedding. This time around I spotted Brent Bolthouse, who kinda looks like Waldo. I also thought that Brent told Heidi he didn’t ever want to be around Spencer again? I’m pretty sure his odds increase of seeing […]
A Lot of Troll Dolls Had to Die For This….
Well it looks like all fences have been mended and 16 pounds of troll doll hair were ordered and hot-glue-gunned to the head of Heidi and crew. Past reports that Heidi and her horse from Crested Butte trotted down the aisle together have turned up false as you can see from the above photo. […]
Lauren Conrad Quits "The Hills"
Well you have some nerve, Lauren Conrad, SOME NERVE! I have half-a-mind to take you over my knee and give you the spanking of your life! We’re in a recession and you’re going to pull this crap? I should wash your mouth out with cheap gin and force you to wear your own clothing line. […]
The Hills Gang Filming in Wonka-Vision?
Oompa Loompa Doopity Do I’ve got 3 Talentless Skanks For You. Oompa Loompa Doopity Da, Follow the Script and You Will Go Far. What Do You Get With The Hills Season 5 Eating and Stares and Eye Rolls and Sighs. None of These Girls Have 1 Ounce of Fat, Speaking of Which, Where is […]
The Hills Season 5 Preview: Scripted Punches, Scripted Tears, Scripted Hugs. Scripted Scripts.
So yeah, uh, I’m playing it cool. I could care less that I just saw the teaser for The Hills Season 5. Yeah, who cares, right? That show totally sucks. Ok, now that that’s over. I’m completely pumped that The Hills Season 5 is going to start soon and after seeing the ridiculousness […]
The Hills Gang Goes to Hawaii! I Hope They Return the Tiki to Professor Whitehead!
Bonus points to whoever got my joke in the title and by “bonus points” I mean “imaginary nothings.” For those of you, like me, who are are trying to fill the void in your lives ever since The Hills has been on hiatus, well do I have the perfect fix for you! It’s two parts […]
The "B Team" of The Hills Has a Reunion!
I don’t want to oversell this, but….JACKPOT! Remember Brian and Jordan from the first season of The Hills? One of them played the boyfriend of Heidi and the other played the kid who was chasing after Oddrina. (Insert sarcastic overtone) I’m sure these dudes are kicking themselves for not sticking with those two prizes. Just […]
"Oregon Trail" Predicts How "The Hills" Cast Will Die
Walk with me, my friends, as IBBB mixes two of his favorite things in life: The Hills and Oregon Trail. If you’re like me, you’ve always wondered what horrible diseases the cast from The Hills would die from and, well, I’m here to provide you those answers. So, get your oxen ready, buy some boxes […]
The Hills Season Finale Preview. Yeah That’s Right, I’m Posting It.
It must be me just getting a little nostalgic that The Hills is coming to an end so I feel the need to cram in all things “Hills” related before the season finale. Hopefully you will all stick with me even whilst The Hills is off the air, but mostly because you know I’ll be […]
Stephanie Pratt Does Her Paparazzi Tour of Robertson Boulevard
Stephanie Pratt, and her Martha Washington hairdo, walked up and down the very quiet and secretive Robertson Boulevard in LA the other day to do a little low-key shopping. What a true surprise that the paparazzi were there to take her picture. Very unexpected. Stephanie shopped in American Apparel (which is a store that sells […]
The Hills is Giving Out Spinoffs Like Oprah Gives Away Cars. Kelly CUNTrone Gets Her Own Show!
Ok so it may not be an official spinoff, but I don’t care, it will always be a Hills spinoff to me. (Insert best Oprah impersonation, which I do a mean one..by the way) Everybody gets a spinofffffffff! You get a spinoff and you get a spinoff and you get a spinoff and you get […]
It’s Voting Day! Make a Difference in What Really Matters…
Today, as you know, is a very important day in our lives. It’s a day we vote. It’s the day we vote for Heidi Montag’s fakest feature! Uh, what did you think I was talking about? So is it her boobs? Her nose? Her lips? I mean, really, the sky is the limit! So take […]
Looks Like Someone Shared Her Teeth Whitening Kit!
Halloween may be over, but that doesn’t mean that our favorite skank-bags from The Hills can’t share their creative costumes and minds with us. Lauren clearly borrowed Audrina’s teeth whitening kit so that she could come alive in her festive flapper costume. However, all the Halloween makeup in the world can’t seem to hide my […]
The Hills According to Me and The Hills the Lost Scenes
Thanks to all you trash bags out there for the crapload of emails asking me about The Hills Lost Scenes and “The Hills According to Me.” I loved The Hills Lost Scenes because I hadn’t realized just how fake the show has become. They used to have real conversations way back in the day and […]
Are Lauren and Heidi Friends Again? Check the Script.
The Hills Recaps! Click Here! Check Out Past Hills Recaps Here! If you don’t want to know if Lauren and Heidi and her new chin, new nose, new boobs, and new lips are friends again don’t continue reading. IBBB could just be tricking you. Perhaps Lauren is only friends with Heidi’s new lips and not […]
Spoiler Alert: Everything is F’n Staged.
Spoiler Alert! If you don’t want to know anything that happens in future crapisodes of The Hills do not look at this picture of Lauren walking up the street with her ex-boyfriend Jason. I repeat, do not look at the picture of Lauren wearing a checkered lumberjack/Lindsay Lohan flannel shirt and her ex-boyfriend, Jason Wahler, […]
No Fair! I Want to Have Myspace Fights With Lauren and Audrina!
I would just like to say that one of the best decisions I ever made was to buy the domain http://www.justinbobby.com/ a while ago when J Bob first made an appearance on The Hills. The $10.00 investment was clearly worth it as J Bob never seems to be out of The Hills spotlight. Moving on, […]
You Know What? I Don’t Want to See the Slaughtered Cow on the Wall, Why Would I Want to See This?
Unless this is their obituary photo, I don’t want to see it. Heidi and Steve Sanders, from The Hills, are now hanging from the wall at Wolfgang Puck’s restaurant, “Cut.” It’s not as promising as it sounds. Their pictures are hanging there, not them themselves. Ugh. Better luck next time. Seriously the last thing I […]
LC and LOser Do Something, Technically.
I’m not so good with words. What’s the definition of “irony?” Is that the same as “ironic?” I believe so. Anyhills, Lauren Cockring and LOser Bosworthless were at the “Do Something Awards” which are a pre-party to the Teen Choice Awards. If, like me, you’re wondering what any of those things are, you’re old. Lauren […]