Oh “The Hills” where have you been for all these months? IBBB has been lonely without you. In a very special 1-hour season three opener we get to learn what really has been going on with Lauren and Heidi and the rest of the California Goonies over the past few months. Clearly this season of […]
the hills
MTV The Hills: Lauren & Heidi Fight It Out
The Hills Recap: Lauren is Drunk Again-Hot
First, this new picture of Heidi really reminds me of Donna Martin. I don’t know if I’m ready to rename Heidi though. I mean, Steve Sanders and Donna Martin? Too strange. Why does Audrina smile no matter what she says? She could be telling Lauren that her parents were killed and she would do it […]
The Hills: When Douches Collide
Alright alright, so it’s the highly anticipated crapisode of The Hills where Lauren and Jason and Heidi and Steve Sanders all “just happen” to bump into each other at “Ketchup.” I have many questions before watching. How will this go down? How will Lo work “Justin Bobby” into a random conversation? What other random cast […]
The Hills Goes to New York
Time for another special episode of The Hills. Will Whitney find a way to whore up her “business presentation?” Will Brody and Steve Sanders rekindle their friendship? Will Lisa Loveless go skinny dipping with Heidi’s mom and horse? All these and more shall be answered. Here’s how this crapisode, “Stress and the City” went down: […]
The Hills: The Paris Set Looks Nice
The Hills is FINALLY back after what seems like 2-decades and 3 Road Rules/Real World Challenges. This time around we pick up where we left off the last time…with Lauren and Whitney heading to Paris for the Korean/Crayon Ball. Heidi ditched the sunny LA lifestyle for Crested Butte and her horse. And Audrina just continued […]
The Hills: Young Hollywood, Old Script
So here’s a little intro story for you. I feel asleep while watching The Hills. I know. I would wake up in increments of 2 minutes and would see Lauren and Whitney running around with ear pieces. It was like they were in a fast-paced drama. I was waiting for Mel Gibson to run and […]
MTV The Hills: Jason Gets Engaged
What a real treat this episode was! The writers of The Hills must have been working overtime to not only add to the script that J Wahl has a girlfriend, but they are moving in together, and are now getting engaged. Lisa Loveless makes another cameo this episode, as does Jenn Bunney. The only person […]
The Hills: Heidi and Lauren Fight and IM?
So a tell-tale sign of when Heidi is “acting” is when she tilts her head to the side a bit and squints her eyes like she’s 50 and trying to read the newspaper. Anyway, it’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for: Lauren and Heidi meet up and fight it out like white-trash ho’s on […]
The Hills: The Hills Vegas Vacation
I can’t even stand it. The Hills rule and by “The Hills” I mean Elodie. Scripted or not, Elodie is the unsung hero of this season of The Hills. The “Dirt Bag Gang” is heading to Vegas to surprise Brody for his 16th birthday. Between Lauren declaring Jihad on her liver from all the drinking […]
The Hills: Whitney’s Date is Kinda Whitney
It’s about time Whitney got some real airtime. Will Whitney spout out greeting card sayings during her date? Will Heidi and Steve Sanders end their fauxgagement? Will Audrina’s teeth implode? How drunk will Lauren be? Justin Bobby anyone? Let’s see what goes down on this episode, With This Ring… Yes! The girls are all at […]
The Hills: Introducing Stephanie Pratt
Get Your Latest “Hills” Recap By Clicking Here and See Just What Stephanie Pratt (Sandy Sanders) is Up to Now! I won’t lie. I’ve been waiting for this episode for a week. Every day I would think “how many more sleeps until The Hills is on?” Some people have an Advent calender, I have a […]
The Hills Season 5 Preview: Scripted Punches, Scripted Tears, Scripted Hugs. Scripted Scripts.
So yeah, uh, I’m playing it cool. I could care less that I just saw the teaser for The Hills Season 5. Yeah, who cares, right? That show totally sucks. Ok, now that that’s over. I’m completely pumped that The Hills Season 5 is going to start soon and after seeing the ridiculousness […]
The Hills: Lauren’s Halloween Party
It’s a spooktacular episode of The Hills when Lauren and Audrina are having a ghostly Halloween party. I’m officially done with the bad Halloween jokes. Anyway, with only one episode left of the season what will happen to Heidi and Steve Sanders? If they break up who will keep Heidi’s chin? How many times will […]
The Hills: Little Heidi on the Prairie
Another week of The Hills, another week of complete brain rot. On a very special “The Hills” episode, Heidi brings Steve Standers to meet her family in Colorado and Lauren continues the assault on her liver by drinking her way through the episode. Brilliant. Here’s how it all went down and my thoughts as it […]
The Hills: Jen Bunney: The Nose Job
Poor Whitney. She’s been basically MIA all season. Is it because she isn’t quite as douchey as the other girls? Is it because she is a high-powered intern manager now at Teen Vogue? One may never truly know. Here’s how the latest episode, “Rolling With the Hills” went down: Ok no joke, in the opening […]
The Hills: Lauren, Gavin, & Bob the Builder
Lauren finally goes on a “real date” and by “real date” I really mean “a random dude planted by producers.” Will Audrina’s teeth burst into flames? Will Steve Sanders continue to sit on the couch? Will Brody still be in his “brody cast?” Will Heidi continue to say buzzwords like, “it’s just business” and “it’s […]
The Hills Finale: Paris Palooza
Well, it is finally here…the season finale of The Hills. Lets take a moment of silence and repent from our Hills sins throughout the season. While reading this recap it may help to play Kenny Rogers’ “Through the Years” in the background. I got to see a few minutes of the pre-show. Is it just […]
The Hills: Lauren’s Random Date, Audrina’s Teeth, Justin Bobby Returns, and Heidi Gets a Promotion
Fine, so this recap is late. Sue me. The Hills episode “Second Chances” really delivered this week and by “delivered” I mean “made me lapse into a pleasant and restful coma.” Here’s how I lost more braincells: I love seeing Audrina and Lauren working out at Equinox gym. What the hell are they doing? Why […]
Jason Wahler Hearts Guns
Even though “The Hills” is on a break until Season 3 starts up at some point in the summer, it’s like every week there is a new “The Hills” story to choose from. This one is great. Apparently, Jason Wahler and some buddies were drinking vodka and playing a friendly little game of Russian Roulette. […]
Heidi Calls the Cops on Her Mother Darlene. More Importantly, Who in the Hell is Watching That Damn Horse?
Maybe one of Darlene’s naaaaaaaaaybors is watching her horse. Hey-oh! In breaking news, Heidi Montag and her husband, Steve Sanders, reportedly called the police on Heidi’s mother, Darlene, when she wouldn’t leave their private property. When Heidi spoke with TMZ (go figure) she robotically said, “My mom just showed up to the house unannounced…and after […]
That Salad Doesn’t Have a Fighting Chance
Ugh, that poor salad. The last thing it sees before it will more than likely be vomited out in 35 minutes is Teefs Pats. What a world. Audrina was out filming more scenes for the final season of The Hills with Raspy Coke Voice (Kristin Cavallari) over the weekend at Toast restaurant in Beverly Hills […]
Some “Hills” Castmembers Replaced by Robots…Just Like “Small Wonder” Did With Vicki. Worked Then, Works Now.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Do. Not. Get. The. Robots. Wet. They. Will. Combust. I.Do. Not. Compute. Stephanie. Pratt. Beep. Beep. Beep. When. Did. She. Turn. Into. Tits. On. A. Stick? Beep. Beep. Buzzeep. That’s my best “typing robot” I can possibly do. Trust me, it sounded way better when I was saying it out loud and […]
“The Hills” Gets Canceled….as Does My Life.
You know what? I think it’s pretty damn rude that “The Hills” will be ending before the actual world ends. I always assumed it would be a neck and neck (or rack and rack) race to the finish line of world implosion. MTV, who is now officially dead to me, has decided that we’ve all […]