the city recaps

Let’s Be Facebook Friends! Goooooooooooooonnnnggg!  This week, boys and girls, The City is visiting Japan!  That’s left of Poland, I believe, for those of you following along in Canada.  Get ready for me to make as many ignorant jokes as my fingers will type! Whitney is ready to sell her lead-laced rags to anyone who […]

Join Me on Facebook! This week we’re starting with the recap of The City instead of The Hills because I thought it was time to change things up.  I’m kidding, my Tivo didn’t tape The Hills for some reason and I. Am. Pissed.  I yelled at my Tivo and, well, said a lot of things […]

Join Me on Facebook, Won’t You? Enjoy the latest on what went down on The City.  Spread the word! Uh, what happened to Joe Zee?  Who’s this new guy who looks like Joe Zee, but isn’t wearing the required black suit/white shirt/black skinny tie uniform that we’re use to seeing?  If he’s going to all […]

Sellout Opportunity: Vote for Me Here for MTV TJ (just fill out @ibbb).  Back to your regularly scheduled programming… Starting the show with Kelly Cutrone on “10” just makes sense to me.  Whitney is, once again, getting ready to sell her flammable clothes to anyone who will buy them like a hooker trying to make […]

Let’s Be Facebook Friends, For LIFE! Welcome to Miami, bienvenwhito a Miami.  That’s Spanish for, “Whitney and Roxy are in Miami to put on a fashion show, which most likely will be an absolute disaster.  Roxy will probably relapse with coke and Whitney is probably getting a sun burn just sitting in the lobby of […]

Join Me on Facebook! Better late than never.  This week on The City it’s Fashion Week in New York City which is like Christmas morning for these people.  For me, it’s a bit of a snooze, but I’m confident that my friend Olivia and the rest of the gang will make this episode everything I’ve […]

Join Me on Facebook! We’re kicking things off at (h)Elle Magazine and a loving exchange between Olivia and Erin Jo.  Erin Jo is filling in Olivia on some event that Guess is having and Olivia is looking at Erin Jo like she’s a 2 year old reciting a blueberry muffins recipe.  At the same time […]

Join Me on Facebook.  You’ll Hate It! Time to spend a little time with the folks from “The City.”  You want to know what this show is missing?  Someone with a visible drug problem.  Really, that’s it.  It has everything else I’m looking for in a show, but it’s missing a sloppy drug addict.  I’d […]

Join Me on Facebook!  You’ll Hate it! Another crapisode of The City hot off the press, whatever in the holy hell that means.  This week, like an episode of Laverne and Shirley, Fergie is guest starring and Whitney is still shooing the ever loving piss out of her look book.  Can’t people just go online […]

Join Me on Facebook.  What Fun! Sammy Gap Tooth (SGT) has invited Whitney and Roxy Horror out for a fancy-pants breakfast/brunch/lunch/dinner.  I’m not really sure what meal it is as Roxy Horror is complaining that she wants coffee and breakfast and Whitney is whining that she wants a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  Remember when […]

Join Me on Facebook!! Welcome to The City recap!  Unlike The Hills, no one seems to be on drugs, well, except Olivia who seems to be on enough tranquilizers to stop a charging rhino.  This week we get to see Whitney show her rags off to some magazine people (and the MTV cameras) and Roxy […]

Cowbell, cowbell, cowbell.  Oh, and cowbell.  The City is back like a case of crabs that you’ve come to know, expect, but aren’t overly psyched to see each and every week.  What I mean is that the break was nice.  Was that not clear?  Also, I don’t have crabs.  Now that we’ve taken care of […]

So are we just pretending that there was never an actual Season One of The City and, therefore, this upcoming season is actually Season Two?  I’ll buy that.  MTV is promoting the newest season of The City as Season 2  (which premieres Tuesday, April 27th at 10:30 pm) and to be honest I have no […]

 Another season of The City has come and gone.  Just when I was about to stop repeatedly punching myself in the nuts the entire time the show was on, I actually began to like watching it.  It’s the oldest story, I know.  So what will happen to our City friends?  Will Erin Jo be booked […]

    It’s always a wondrous sign from our Heavenly Father when Kelly Cutrone is in the opening scene for the crapisode.  This is typically when I smile from sideburn to crooked sideburn, grab a beer (or 10), and fasten the seat belt I’ve installed on my couch.  While I feel, a little, that Kelly […]

  Sure the main point of this episode is about Whitney and her terrible blind date, but I must admit I was a little more fascinated by all the faces that Erin has been making throughout the season.  Therefore ergo nevertheless furthermore regardless virtues, I decided to capture all the wonder that Erin creates with […]

  It’s no secret that I have an unhealthy obsession with all things Kelly Cutrone.  Would I go as far as saying that I want to knock over a 7-11 with her and hotwire a stolen police car all whilst on a first-time-ever meth binge?  Yes, yes, and I’ll try it, I guess, if Kelly’s […]

  We kick things off with Whitney and Roxy Horror getting some sun whilst laying out in Central Park.  I’m not sure if they spray-painted the grass around them bright green because I’ve been there a million times and it’s never that green.  Also, Whitney looks like she’s wearing nursing scrubs.  Later Whitney and Freddie […]

Time for a little City recap!  I got a lot of crap for not recapping last weeks crapisode of The City.  I’m sorry, are you paying my bills?  You don’t know me!  You don’t know me!  I pay my own bills!  You don’t know me!  Sorry, that was me practicing my rebuttal if the Ricki […]

Cow bell cow bell cow bell.  How come The City is turning into a reality show version of The Office, minus the interesting characters, funny lines, and good writing?  Last season we were bored to meth tears with the psycho relationship between Sleepy Time Allie and her boyfriend and Whitney and Ozzy Bobby.  This season […]

There are a lot of things going on in the city, just not in the show “The City.”  Even my favorite part of the entire episode, the opening credits, has been cut down to about 5 seconds.  Thanks for taking the best part away from me.  Here’s what went down on The City or La […]

The City is back on MTV and this time around it’s taking a different approach than it did last season.  What change, you ask?  Well, first off it followed the formula of another show you may have heard me mention before.  It’s called “The Hills.”  Specifically, season 2 of The Hills.  By this I mean, […]

IBBB Housekeeping Item:  Join me on Facebook!  You’ll Likely Regret It! Well gang, get out all your eye rolls and dead stares now because it’s officially the last crapisode of The City for the season.  Sleepy Time Allie can finally get the rest she needs.   I’d like to spoon with her…and by spoon, I really […]

It’s date night for Ozzy Bobby and Adam.  The Ernie and Bert of our generation is at the movies snacking on popcorn and chit-chattin’ about Ozzy Bobby and his band going on “tour” and not telling Whitney yet.  They’re about two sentences away from braiding each others hair and putting fake makeup on their My […]

I would just like to say that I am in no way being paid to blog The City.  I say that because I feel like I should be.  I should be paid to watch this horror for 22 minutes once/per week.  I feel like doing this free-of-charge will help secure me into Sainthood once I […]

Where to begin?  Where to begin?  As much as I like to throw “Sleepy Time” Allie/Vicky the Robot under the blogging bus on a weekly basis, I kinda think that she saved this episode for me.  I mean, watching her “model” brought new meaning to my life, but we’ll get to that in a bit.  […]

*Thanks to everyone who took part in the live blogging/chat last night on IBBB during The City.  It was good times!  We should do it again sometime. Gas up the snow machine and leave out some cookies for Cutrone Claus because it’s the “A Very City Christmas” episode of The City and since there’s not […]

Programming Note:  Please join IBBB next Monday night as I will be live blogging/Twittering “The City.”  That’s right, live.  This is sure to be an absolute disaster, but come to IBBB on Monday night at 10pm EST and you’ll be able to comment as I’m live blogging/Twittering.  Sounds tedious.  See you then!  Oh, and sign […]

All hail! Blessed Mother Kelly CUNTrone is back to save and bless The City! Now I know I’ve tee’d off on Kelly ever since The Hills, but the truth is I love her. Oh, and she is clearly the most talented person on The City….or just in life in general. Plus, I bet she’d wanna […]

Hey all (or y’all) – sorry this recap is late. As you know I’m in the process of having this little site designed and was supposed to relaunch yesterday. Well that didn’t happen. The site is ready, but just doesn’t work….meaning I can’t upload anything new to it. So, yeah, that’s a problem. Oh, and […]

Today, my dear Americans, there is change in the air. No, I’m not talking about the inauguration of Obama as President. I am, of course, talking about a the addition of “Allie” into the cast of The City. Hopefully she’s only making a cameo because, after watching this crapisode, I may have to stop watching […]

What perfect timing for the naked Whitney Port pictures to pop up on the Interwebsations! Before we get into the recap of The City lets discuss the fact that Whitney was being filmed in Miami going into the ocean with her microphone on and wires in her bikini. Next thing you know, Hurricane Kelly Cutrone […]