Farrah – A lot may be going on in Farrah’s life, but that doesn’t mean she can’t find the time to get a colonoscopy and visit Daddy Derrick’s gravesite (again) on camera. Because if it’s one thing we really need to know more about in regards to Farrah it’s her back door and how she […]
Teen Mom OG Recaps That'll Change Your Life
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Teen Mom Reunion Recap: Let’s Slap a 5150 on Amber and Just Move on With Our Lives
Join Me on Facebook! Well get out the toothpicks and place them in your eyes because we have a 2-hour commitment to Teen Mom ahead of us. Will Butch surprise us all by storming the stage via a Jerry Springer moment? Will Dr. Drew read a letter from the real Roseanne and Dan Conner giving […]
Teen Mom Recap: Butch (Snarlin’ Darlin’) is Back, Baby! He’s a Natural Born Predator!
Hello my good people. Before we get down to brass tax, let’s get down to brass tacks. For those of you who’ve helped me during the Celebrity Twitter Bomb, we’ll be playing again today. It’s simple. If you like this recap and want to help me continue to sell out then “Tweet” this recap (you […]
Teen Mom Recap: April, Without Butch, Frightens Me. Like, A Lot.
Join Me on Facebook! Catelynn – Once again I’m kicking things off with Catelynn and crew because, well, I pretty much only want to watch a show with them in it. It’s Prom time for Cate and Tyler and so that can only mean one thing, Catelynn’s mom, April, is taking her and her friend […]
Teen Mom Recap: “Guess What, B*tch? This is MY House!”
Join Me on Facebook! Amber – Oh Amber. Amber, Amber, Amber. Amber and her friend, who I believe is also a “teenage mother” are out at the park pushing their kids on the swings and chit-chattin’ about deep world issues. I’m kidding. They’re talking about how Gary may end up living in his van since […]
Teen Mom Recap: Amber Becomes a Woman in Jail
Farrah – It’s been about 3 minutes since our little Glow Worm with a new rack has made the friendly skies unfriendly so it only makes sense that Farrah is talking to Debra and filling us all in that she wants to travel to Florida to check out some below average school that takes worms […]
Catelynn is Pregnant and Tyler (and Everyone Else) is Shocked
Farrah — This trip to Italy is really never ending but, let’s just be clear, they saved the best for last. Farrah and Debz decide to head out to an Italian karaoke bar because, sure, why not. I mean, it makes sense since there’s just basically one country left that doesn’t hate us. The karaoke […]
Gary the Hairy Fairy and the Case of Farrah’s First Ugly Cry
Is it just me or is Teen Mom on for an hour, but there are about 46 minutes of commercials? It’s like we watch Amber curled up on the couch looking out the window and then they go to commercial. Then they come back and Catelynn is laying on her bed…and then they go to […]
Teen Mom Recap: Sarah Palin at a Bachelorette Party is What This Country Needs
Well here we are again. Another season, another couple of ye old teenage mothers added to the mix. At this point I’m pretty sure that there are 15 different moms featured in this episode and, well, I’m not sure I actually like it. To be clear, I actually love it. And if I’m being honester I’m really […]
If Gary Doesn’t Wear His ‘Dad Bod’ T-Shirt to Farrah’s FroCo Grand Opening, Then Life Isn’t Real
Farrah – It’s almost the grand opening of FroCo and the poor girls who have to work the counter are now being trained by Farrah on all things social media and how to take picture of ice cream cones. Seems like she missed the part where she tells them they’ll get more ‘likes’ if they […]
20 Times Farrah ‘Ugly Cried’ That We’re Obsessed With
Whether you love her, hate or, or hate to love her Farrah doing her signature “ugly cry” really is the gift that keeps on giving. Here we take a walk down memory lane and take a gander at some of Farrah’s best ugly cries of all time. Some are pre-face work, while others look like […]
Teen Mom Recap: Teen Pregnancy is Likely to Get You Your Own Show. Ole!
Join Me on Facebook! I have to say, I’m so pleased that these girls got themselves knocked to the hell up when they were 16 because Teen Mom really is a pleasant show to watch. I mean, sure it’s supposed to show “the kids” that your life will dramatically change if you do sex to […]
iCarly Totally Ghosts Catelynn and Tyler’s Birthday Party For Her
So I’m bummed I missed last weeks crapisode because I just got caught up and got to see the squalor that Tyler’s sister, Amber, left his house in. There were legit holes smashed through the glass, doors kicked apart, blankets matted to the wet dirt in the side yard and, I’m sure if I hit […]
Teen Mom Recap: Ugly Crying, Big Foreheads, and Moving Out
Join Me on Facebook or Become a Teen Mom! It’s not normal that every time Teen Mom starts up I always sing “Sweet 16” in my head. I mean, I’m also crazy-train so I guess it is normal. Anybustedhymen, walk with me, talk with me, and feel better with me because we’re not 16 and […]
9 Things I Learned from Teenage Mothers in 2010
It’s been quite a year for girls who “gave it up” at a young age, found themselves “with child” and simultaneously starring in their own television reality series. At the same time, I have watched endless hours of these girls over the course of 2010 and have learned a thing or two. Since I’m a […]
9 Most Cringeworthy Moments of Farrah’s Music Video for “Blowin”
Farrah (from Teen Mom…not that you needed the reminder) just released a “music video” for her new single “Blowin’” I mean. I’d place quotes around this entire blog if I could. Also don’t think the irony between the fact that this is her “single” and, well, Farrah is typically sans-partner is lost on me. Here […]
Teen Mom Recap: Everyone Has a Better Valentine’s Day Than Me
Join Me on Facebook! It’s Valentine’s Day for the young mothers of Teen Mom and I just realized that whilst I tee off on them on a weekly basis they technically have a better love life than me and are about 5 10 years younger than me. I’m pretty sure that’s what the kids call […]
Teen Mom Recap: Step Right Up! Step Right Up! Come See the World’s Worst Marriage Proposal!
Join Me on Facebook! Catelynn – I used to love Catelynn and Tyler because they seemed the most normal with a great giant forehead head on their shoulders, but lately they’re turning into little mini April and Butch. By the way is her mom’s name April? I think it is. Anyway, it’s Catelynn’s birthday so, […]
Teen Mom Recap: How Do We Get the Easter Bunny on the Biggest Loser?
Join Me on Facebook! It’s the Easter crapisode of Teen Mom and, well, clearly Jesus has risen because this is one great crapisode! Here’s what went down last night on Teen Mom: Farrah – It’s Easter for Farrah and Sophia and while she’s busy putting rabbit ears on herself and Sophia I wonder what on […]
Bigger Than Beyonce? Debz OG is Rapping (or Stroking Out) in Her New Video (VIDEO!?)
Allow me to reintroduce myself my name is Humpty, I’m IBBB and she is now apparently Debz OG and, well, if you ever wondered exactly the final sign of the “End of Days” was you’re correct if you thought it was Trump becoming President, but you’re even more correct if you guessed it was Farrah’s mom, Debra Danielson, from […]
Teen Mom Recap: “Butch’s World” is the Only World I Really Want to Live In
Join Me on Facebook! Sorry that this is just being posted now. Like the girls from 16 & Pregnant, I was late. Anycrap, here’s what went down on with our favorite cast of characters on Teen Mom (or “Teenage Mother” if I’m feeling fancy) Catelynn – So at what point are they just going to […]
Being Butch Recap: Butch Loves Coke More Than Tyler & I Love Butch More Than Life
Well apparently MTV is just taking requests from me at this point. Last week we had the second coming of Christ in the “Being Barbara” special and now we have “Being Butch.” While I’m putting things out there to MTV, how about: Being Suzi (on a bender) or Being Janet (Jo’s mom) or Being Debra […]
DebzOG Talks About Farrah’s Mental Problems and Why Michael is Trying to Blackmail Her
You know I love to sell out as much as the next person. Thanks to the Facebook Show ‘Shot Topics’ I get to do this all the live-long day with all my favorite reality stars. Well this time around I got to throw back some drinks with Debra Danielsen (from Teen Mom, of course) and […]
Teen Mom Recap: So, Dropping Dirty isn’t the Same as Shasta McNasty??
Well good day my good people of IBBB. As many of you know (those who follow me on Facebook and Twitter) I have been battling what I can only assume is a giant dose of karma with a slam punch of bronchitis, sinus infection, 102 fever, and possible pneumonia. I, of course, blame Amber and […]
Teen Mom Reunion Part One: Foreheads with a Side of Sass
I’m glad that MTV decided to split this reunion up into two parts. I think it technically takes that long to try and discover exactly where iCarly is hiding out. Spoiler Alert: Tajikistan. I know, it’s usually the first place I look but the last place Dr. Drew looked. Speaking of doctors who mainly appear […]
Teen Mom Reunion: Farrah Pulled The Gotcha Gotcha on Debra. She Will Simply Pay With Her Life.
Woo hoo! Let’s put these rust dumpsters under the microscope of Dr. Drew Potato Head and his removable hair piece! I always love how we kick things off with a close up of Dr Drew with his face right in the camera like he’s trying to analyze each and every one of us through the […]
Teen Mom Reunion Recap: Two Seats for Gary
It’s fitting that MTV would kick me in the teeth one last time with the part two of the Teen Mom reunion being about Maci for about 45 minutes. For reasons unbeknownst to me, Maci looks like Japanimation come to life with the black streak in her hair that no one is doing anywhere. This […]
Teen Mom Reunion Part II: A Surprise Forehead
And so we meet again. Dr Drew and his baby vomit green decides to bring Amber back after she stormed off stage due to her mom talking to Dr Drew about her daughter dying from SADS. That’s a typo and, well, I’m keeping it because Amber stuffed into her blue blouse without spanx makes me […]
If You are a Teen Mom You WILL End up in Jail
That title is based on fact. Yes, fact. I’ve surveyed over zero teenage mothers and ended up with that highly classified data. I’ve received a lot of emails and the like from readers asking me about my take on our beloved Amber spending 5 years in the slammer. I’m prepared to issue a statement. Also, […]
Teen Mom Recap: Rehab and Daycare are the Same Thing, Right?
Well, well, well. Look what the placenta eating cat dragged in. Teen Mom is back! And according to the 2,032 commercials that MTV has been showing this is the most dramatic year yet. I hope that’s code for “We found Amber’s rope.” I don’t care. I said it. You think you’re going to come here […]
Teen Mom Recap: The Original Tot Mom, Amber Portwood, is Back Ladies and Gentlemen (Greeters)!
Cruel world, it’s been too long! After waiting almost as long for my parents to allow me to watch Weird Science on VHS, Teen Mom has finally returned! It’s fitting that the premiere is the week of 4th of July because like apple pie, fireworks, and red, white, and blue streamers there is nothing more […]
Teen Mom Recap: I Mean, Amber is Basically Cured
As promised here is the recap of the second crapisode of Teen Mom. Per usual, the most interesting person in this episode is Amber because, well, watching anyone have a breakdown is quite the treat for both the eyes and ears. If you like this recrap, don’t forget to click on the “Recommend” button that […]