Teen Mom OG Recaps That'll Change Your Life

It’s safe to say that this season’s Teen Mom is pretty much the pits.  It’s also safe to say that I’ve missed a few episodes due to a self inflicted coma.  It’s also safe to say that we’re all here this week strictly for Gary’s vasectomy.  That’s right folks, Gary’s ding-a-ling-christmas-bells are getting a snippity-do-da-day right […]

So I’m bummed I missed last weeks crapisode because I just got caught up and got to see the squalor that Tyler’s sister, Amber, left his house in.  There were legit holes smashed through the glass, doors kicked apart, blankets matted to the wet dirt in the side yard and, I’m sure if I hit […]

When all else fails on this show, make Butch (allegedly) contractually obligated to make amends to his kids on camera.  The only catch?  The rehab facility won’t let them film the amends.  Um, I mean, how am I supposed to know if I have a drug problem unless I see someone else’s amends, live, on […]

  Clap if you think this show is really going downhill on the Interest-o-Meter.  No really, clap.  I’ll be able to hear you.  I’m like Santa.  Always watching and breaking into your house on the same night every year.  Anyway, this week on Ye Old Teenage Mother, for those of us keeping score Amber appears […]

It’s time for another episode of “3 Minute Scenes Before a Commercial.”  This week, we experience about 3 minute scenes before we get a commercial.  Thank you and goodnight! How are y’all feeling about this new season so far?  Had I had any voting mechanisms on this janky site I’d be able to poll you […]

Well here we are again.  Another season, another couple of ye old teenage mothers added to the mix.  At this point I’m pretty sure that there are 15 different moms featured in this episode and, well, I’m not sure I actually like it.  To be clear, I actually love it.  And if I’m being honester I’m really […]

Things just don’t seem the same on TMOG without Farrah screaming at everyone.  Alas, we move forward.  Here’s the highlights from what went down last night on Teen Mom. Catelynn – I love how it’s Visit a Butch at Rehab day in America.  I assume that’s like a national holiday.  Tyler and his sister Amber head […]

Farrah – Last time on a very special Teen Mom OG (not the actual) Morgan Freeman and some other producers were about to storm the house Farrah is living in squalor in, very dramatically, and I’m very nervous. I almost feel like Farrah knows a little bit that the jig is up because she’s almost being […]

Farrah – The way Farrah looks for real estate is pretty much the same way she does everything else.  Oddly.  She wants to look at a home in LA she’s interested in, but didn’t make it to the open house so she just showed up to the house, with a camera crew, rang the bell and […]

Farrah – How come almost every scene with Farrah involves a cooking class or a unicorn?  I was getting a bit bored until the scene with Debz OG popped up where she had to call Dr. David so he could wish her a happy birthday. He pretty much cut her off, ‘yeah, yeah, yeah’d’ her to […]

Farrah –  News of Debz upcoming wedding is really making the rounds.  So much so that Jenelle apparently called Farrah (can you imagine how that call went?!) to let her know that Debra invited Jenelle’s ex-husband, Cortland, to her wedding.  I’m a little offended I never made the final guest list, but I don’t have a […]

  Farrah — This trip to Italy is really never ending but, let’s just be clear, they saved the best for last.  Farrah and Debz decide to head out to an Italian karaoke bar because, sure, why not. I mean, it makes sense since there’s just basically one country left that doesn’t hate us.  The karaoke […]

Amber – Since Ambjikistan spent last episode chasing chickens with Leah, that’s enough time needed so she and her new boyfriend, Dom DeLuise, are heading to Hawaii for a little vacation so (in their words) they can think about Leah and then send her a gift.  So that’s cool.  Is it just me or does Dom […]

Farrah – You know what always makes me cringe, besides Farrah’s burnt red weave, is when Debra still talks in the baby voice to Baby Goop.  When she shows up the hotel room to “hand deliver” her wedding invitation she basically baby talks Goop into a coma.  I get that it’s cute when they’re, you know, […]

Is it just me or was anyone else hoping this would be the Christmas episode of Teen Mom OG?  Sometimes I dream that Butch would be dressed as Santa, April would be Mrs. Claus and Brandon and Theresa are, of course, The Grinch (you know, since they basically stole Carly from Cate and Ty).  Anyway, […]

Farrah – Pack the extra hair extensions (that we can always see the tracks on) because Farrah is heading overseas for a spell and needs to drop Baby Goop with anyone who hasn’t had rabies before and may know their way around an Epi-pen.  But first, she wants to spend as much time with Sophia as […]

Teen Mom OG is back!  I added the “!” because I wasn’t sure if the eye-rolling emoji would translate here.  Anyway, here we go. Once again I’m grateful to the trash boxes at MTV who made the decision to break the 4th wall and allow part of the show to be about, you know, actually […]

  Farrah – Ugh, the “family vacation” continues to be as terrible as we all knew it would be.  David continues on his tour of “Farrah is a nightmare and I refuse to interact with her on camera” even when everyone wants to go kayaking.  What fun.  Debra asks him if he wants to go and […]

  Farrah –  Austin, Texas can collectively breathe a sigh of relief, because Farrah is getting out of Dodge and setting her sights on Los Angeles, CA!  What a treat for the west coast!  Oh, and she’s bringing Baby Goop with her just in case you were wondering. Remember that time she was going to […]

I tell ya, MTV just keeps making my life better and better.  Do you know how much easier it is to recap an episode where everyone is basically in the same scenes?  I mean, minus Farrah as the rest of the gang is still pretending she’s with Jesus.  Anyway, it’s Cate’s birthday and she and […]

Farrah – When all is said and done, I have no clue what really is going on with Farrah.  Just when I think she’s starting to make sense (i.e, buying  a mini horse and not having sex with it) she decides that it only makes the most sense to go into hypnotherapy with Debra so they can work […]

Farrah – Grab your protective shields and put yourself in lockdown because it’s Baby Goop’s 8th birthday!  This year the theme is “Princess” and Farrah wants everyone over to her house of “non-negativity” because, well, she’s filming a TV show and it just makes sense.  Michael ends up meeting up with Farrah and Goop at lunch […]

Farrah –  So looks like Farrah did end up buying that mini horse for Baby Goop.  The producers want to stay outside and play with the horse and Goop instead of going inside and risking their lives talking to Farrah.  Eh, at least they get to have fun wearing shoe covers like they’re heading into surgery […]

Well, well, well, looks like we’re all back!  I missed last week as I was traveling, so let’s just pretend the first episode never happened.  Oh, also did you know I did a video with Debra last week?!  Check it out here.  We all drank beers, wine, and she talked smack about Maci and Barb. […]

I don’t always recap the Teen Mom reunion because it’s a lot of same/same from the season, but today I’m here for the good old classic fighting between Marilyn Monroe and the Real-Life Glow Worm.  Oh, you probably know them best as “Amber” and “Farrah.”  I sometimes forget you guys aren’t in my head.  Either […]

It’s the season finale of Teen Mom OG.  How could it already be over?  It seems like the season just started 72 weeks ago.  Alas, here we are.  Thanks for reading, sharing with your Facebook friends, and helping me to continue to sell out each and every week!  Let’s get to it. Farrah – I guess […]