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50+ Teen Mom 2 Recaps, Episode Guides and Constant Yelling from Barb

teen-mom-2-recap

Get all caught up on your favorite Teen Mom trash-bags like Jenelle, Leah (y'all!), Chelsea (her orange head) and Kail (minus her chin).

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Teen Mom 2: The One Where You Have to Tell Your Mom You Was a Slut, Y’all!

Author: Patrick Varone Updated: February 8, 2012

Jenelle – You gotta love an episode that kicks things off with a little b*tchfest between Barbarella and Jenelle! Could they be fighting over the fact that they can barely afford their mortgage? No. Could they be fighting over the fact that Jace has ruined both of their lives? Nope. They’re simply fighting over where […]

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Teen Mom 2 Recap: I Ain’t Bath-ing No Babies!

Author: Patrick Varone Updated: January 25, 2012

Jenelle – Things are going really well for Jenelle ever since she moved out of Barb(ie)’s Dream House. I, of course, am joking. Her life is in absolute ruins. Since she no longer lives with her loving, soothing, calming mother, Barb decides that she wants Jenelle to start paying child support. Me gusta how they’re […]

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Teen Mom 2: When Bad Hair Happens to Chinless Teens

Author: Patrick Varone Updated: January 18, 2012

Hey y’all it’s time for another episode of “The Night They Realized It’s Not Just For Peeing Anymore.” In this episode all the girls come to the decision that it’s never too late for adoption and begin to fill out paperwork to get the ball rolling on becoming free-teens again. I hope I didn’t spoil […]

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Teen Mom 2 Recap: Cheese Puffs, the Walking Splints of West Virginia

Author: Patrick Varone Updated: January 11, 2012

Programming Note: Dear sweet baby Jesus and his teen mom Mary this was one long episode! MTV decided to play a round of shenanigans on me and air Teen Mom last night for two hours. Two hours! Therefore, I’ll do my best to remember everything, but the first person to say, “I can’t believe you […]

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Teen Mom 2 Recap: Here Comes Corey Claus Right Down Trailer Park Lane!

Author: Patrick Varone Updated: January 4, 2012

Jenelle – Sometimes when your life is stormy you need a little calm. You need a mustache with mangled teeth to provide you with advice. You need Barb’s boyfriend Mike. Jenelle is seeing red (and not just because Barb is decked out in a beautiful Christmas red sweater with black leaves all around the neck […]

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Teen Mom 2 Recap: Jumpaaah Cables and Fix-a-Flat: Birthday Dreams Come True

Author: Patrick Varone Updated: December 28, 2011

It’s time for yet another crapisode of “Spread ‘Em If You Got ‘Em: Teenage Mother Edition.” I am still on vacation, but I figured if I could find the time to tune into these rubbish tins, then you probably have the time to read this junk and click on the “Recommend” button so you can […]

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Teen Mom 2: The One Where Everyone Gets Orange Sweaters

Author: Patrick Varone Updated: December 21, 2011

Welcome back to another episode of “Teen Mom 2: Vag Today, Mom Tomorrow.” If you know someone who’s become brain-dead from reading these recaps, visit RespectIsNotLove.gov. Yeah, I turned it into a government agency…jealous? Here’s what went down last night with these teenage mothers (lite version due to me being on vacation). Jenelle –It took […]

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Teen Mom 2 Recap: Welcome to the World of West Virginian Medicine, Y’all!

Author: Patrick Varone Updated: December 14, 2011

Hey y’all welcome back to another crapisode of “A Dinky Went Into My Woo-Woo When I Was 16, MTV Got a Hold of Me, and Now I’m Rich, B*tch!” At least that’s the Biblical name of this show. Now I must warn you that this episode is supposed to center around Leah and her baby […]

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Teen Mom 2 Recap: Occupy Barb’s House

Author: Patrick Varone Updated: December 7, 2011

Jenelle – No more sleeps until we find out what in the hell has happened to Barb and her little b*tch of a daughter (that’s you) Jenelle. I was good all year and even my Elf on a Shelf (which I pasted Barb’s face on and gave it a blue shirt) told me I was […]

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Teen Mom 2 Unseen Moments: Barb in a Bathing Suit Officially Completes My Life

Author: Patrick Varone Updated: April 13, 2011

Get Social: Join Me! Jenelle – What scenes could we possibly have missed this season with Jenelle? I imagine it’s scenes like Jenelle and Barb skipping in the meadow or Jenelle doing 30 minutes of Flash Cards with Kieffah. But, alas, my guesses are wrong. The “unseen moments” of Jenelle are just pretty odd overall. […]

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Teen Mom 2 Reunion: Guess Whose Mother Thinks Their Daughter Isn’t Lovable?

Author: Patrick Varone Updated: April 6, 2011

Be Social: Join IBBB What a new and innovative way for Teen Mom 2 to kick me in the nuts one last time by having a 2 hour reunion special. 2 hours. 2 hours? Really? I don’t even want to be awake at midnight on New Years, let alone for Ye Old Teenage Mother and […]

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Teen Mom 2 Season Finale: Arrested! Engaged 19 Times, Prostitution Whore! Oh, Wait.

Author: Patrick Varone Updated: March 30, 2011

What a sad night around the offices of IBBB. I’d like to end this season with a snippet of a song I’d like to dedicate to Barb. Please sing to the tune of Ebony and Ivory: Barb Evans and IBBB live together in perfect harmony Same old blue shirt and my keyboard, lil b*tch, why […]

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Teen Mom 2 Recap: Bustin’ Balls on Minimum Wage With Your Discover Card

Author: Patrick Varone Updated: March 23, 2011

Get Social: Join Me! Jenelle – Trouble in paradise already? The Lucy and Ricky of our generation are already starting to get into some serious fights because of all the pressure that they’re under. No, I’m not talking about the fact that they are basically homeless, stole credit cards, or look like trash box’s on […]

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Teen Mom 2 Recap: White Trash with Black Trash Bags

Author: Patrick Varone Updated: March 16, 2011

Be Social: Join IBBB! Jenelle – Go fist (pump) yourself because Thelma and Louise are on the open road going from Barb’s safe haven of horror to sunny New Jersey. Oh, and did I mention that Jenelle was being the best “little b*tch of a daughtaah’ she could be and stole Barb’s credit card for […]

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Teen Mom 2 Recap: Suzi, the Unsung Skittish Hero!

Author: Patrick Varone Updated: March 9, 2011

Join Me on Facebook and Twitter! Jenelle – Me gusta mi favorita teenage mother “La Jenelle.” That’s Spanish for “Trash is here!” Jenelle and Kieffah are spending a romantic day at the beach discussing how they’ve never been apart since that day that Jenelle drunkenly met him at a porch party. I remember when she […]

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Teen Mom 2 Recap: High, High, Yaw Both High and Smokin’ Weeeeed in Front of My House!

Author: Patrick Varone Updated: March 2, 2011

Join Me on Facebook and Twitter! Jenelle – Lawdy hallelujah and we’re off! Times they-are-a-tough for Jenelle and Kieffah, the Lucy and Desi of our generation, because even though Jenelle got her financial aid check and is working it’s still not going to be enough to rent her Barbie dream home that she’s always wanted […]

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Teen Mom 2: Jenelle’s Master Plan Thanks to the US Department of Education and Sallie Mae!

Author: Patrick Varone Updated: February 23, 2011

Get Social: Join Me! Oh. Well hello there. Anything new or out of the ordinary lately? Yeah, me either. Oh, actually there is something. I had a nice weekend in Boston. Oh, and also about 1 million rabid Justin Bieber Teen Mom 2 fans sent me hate mail and death threats. It was quite nice. […]

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Teen Mom 2 Recap: So Adam Was Totally Banging Megan, Right?

Author: Patrick Varone Updated: February 16, 2011

Get Social: Join Me! Jenelle – Ho-hum, Jenelle has been kicked out of Barb’s casa de crazy once again (for being the “worst piece of sh*t mother”) so she’s stuck living with her friend in her living room where everyone just sits around looking dazed all whilst Kieffer strums away on the guitar. It may […]

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Teen Mom 2: Choose Your Own Adventure?

Author: Patrick Varone Updated: February 9, 2011

Well. Hello (ahem) everyone. How are (ahem) you? Please, take a seat. I have some sad/horrific (horrific: meaning, less than terrific whore news) news to share with you. I’m currently in San Diego (that’s in California, just north of the United States and south of Tibet) and, well, would you believe that my hotel does […]

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Teen Mom 2: Jenelle’s Neck Hickeys Means 6 More Weeks of Winter

Author: Patrick Varone Updated: February 2, 2011

Get Social: Join IBBB Jenelle – Well thank Santa Christ because we’re starting this shiz off on a brilliant note, which means that Jenelle is “goin’ out paaaahtyin’” Ole! She heads off to some sh*t-bums house where everyone already seems like they’re on a meth binge and suddenly, there he is. Keiffer. If there was […]

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Teen Mom 2 Recap: When Will They Be Adding Barb’s Blue Shirt to the Smithsonian?

Author: Patrick Varone Updated: January 26, 2011

I don’t feel guilt that I changed the channel during the President’s State of the Union Address to watch Teen Mom 2 as I’m already well aware that the economy is still in the crapper and the world, as we know, is two more snow storms away from self-imploding. Yawn. I have real problems to […]

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Teen Mom 2: You Bettah Getta Lawyah!

Author: Patrick Varone Updated: January 19, 2011

Join Me on Facebook and Twitter! Here’s the deal. I want to live in a world where only television shows about Barb Evans exists. For me, she is the new “Jersey” craze. I want middle-aged women with nun haircuts, horrible accents, and alcoholics fingers (and don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about) to […]

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Teen Mom 2 Recap: Jenelle and Her Mom, Barbara, Fight it Out Over What I Believe is an Internet Connection and a Wireless Router

Author: Patrick Varone Updated: January 12, 2011

Throw away your extra doses of Pitocin, hit up your trash claw with some WD40, and “sexy-dance” your ass off because Teen Mom is back! Sure it’s not the same group of trash bags that we’re used to, but if anyone can save Teen Mom 2 it’s the new and refreshed draw-string trash bags, Jenelle […]

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Teen Mom 2: Electric Boogaloo

Author: Patrick Varone Updated: December 16, 2010

Join Me on Facebook and The Twitter! Christmas has come early as the new cast of Teen Mom has been released. At first when I discovered (via 14,000 emails) that Teen Mom 2 was not going to include Amber, Gary, Butch, April, Debra, her trash claw, and Farrah’s ugly cry I was really upset. Devastated […]

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