Teen Mom 2 Season Finale Tweet RoundupAuthor: Patrick Varone Updated: April 14, 2014It's weird Tweeting Teen Mom when the sun is still out. Sun's out guns out actually means "get your gun" for Leah & Jeremy, yall! #TeenMom2 — IBBB (@ibbb) April 13, 2014 I hope during this season finale we find out if Barb will start her bangs mid-scalp. #TeenMom2 #MTV — IBBB (@ibbb) April 13, […]
Teen Mom 2 Recap: Please Tase Him, Bro!Author: Patrick Varone Updated: April 9, 201430 minutes until the #TeenMom2 Live Tweet! Go tell your garbage bag friends to follow me! #TeenMom2 #MTV — IBBB (@ibbb) April 9, 2014 Once again it's a proven fact that poor people love painting entire rooms dark blue #TeenMom2 #MTV — IBBB (@ibbb) April 9, 2014 Why bother painting when Suzi is most likely […]
Teen Mom 2 Recap: Jenelle’s 8th Pregnancy In Under 5 Episodes (Drink!)Author: Patrick Varone Updated: April 2, 2014Honeymooning in Philly for 2 days at the Ramada Inn is HOT! #TeenMom2 #MTV — IBBB (@ibbb) April 2, 2014 If Kail gives birth during the honeymoon will the motel charge her for two more occupants? #Math #TeenMom2 #MTV — IBBB (@ibbb) April 2, 2014 I just assumed it was twins. Maybe I was counting […]
Teen Mom 2 Recap: Jenelle and Nathan are the Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin of Our GenerationAuthor: Patrick Varone Updated: March 26, 2014Kail wanted to not see Javi before the wedding b/c they're traditional. Just like showing up pregnant. It's in the Bible. #TeenMom2 #MTV — IBBB (@ibbb) March 26, 2014 Why is she nervous for the first kiss? Be worried you're going to start crowning mid-vows! #TeenMom2 #MTV — IBBB (@ibbb) March 26, 2014 I love […]
Teen Mom 2 Recap: West Virginian Bacon Face SlapsAuthor: Patrick Varone Updated: March 19, 2014I missed last weeks Teen Mom. Is everyone still absolute garbage or did something change? #TeenMom2 #MTV — IBBB (@ibbb) March 19, 2014 Mmmm an aquarium wedding! I love smelling penguin sh*t whilst reading vows #TeenMom2 #MTV — IBBB (@ibbb) March 19, 2014 Kail should have put her braces on her vagola to prevent pregnancy. […]
Teen Mom 2 Recap/Tweetcap: The One Where Jenelle Got “More Classier”Author: Patrick Varone Updated: March 5, 2014If you missed the Live-Tweet last night, shame on you. But, at least you can catch up here with some of what went down last night on Teen Mom 2! Join me at 10pm American Time, as I Live-Tweet #TeenMom2 . Because I love teenagers and I love mothers. Er, wait. — IBBB (@ibbb) March […]
Teen Mom 2 Recap: Like Aborted Babies Through Jenelle, These are the Days of Our LivesAuthor: Patrick Varone Updated: February 26, 2014If Janet doesn't appear in this episode rapping "Smack My Bitch Up" whilst booty popping in BUM Equipment shorts I quit life. #TeenMom2 #MTV — IBBB (@ibbb) February 26, 2014 Jace learned how to count by # of abortions…most likely. It's the new math. #TeenMom2 #MTV — IBBB (@ibbb) February 26, 2014 Why is the […]
23 Ways I Feel About the Teen Mom Catch-Up Special as Told via Oprah GifsAuthor: Patrick Varone Updated: February 22, 2014As you know, MTV is showing a “catch up” special Sunday night at 8pm on our favorite Teen Moms and, of course, I’ll be Live Tweeting this epic event. In the meantime, here’s how I feel about the entire thing…. 1. How I originally thought I’d be spending my Sunday night 2. When I found […]
Teen Mom 2 Recap: Jenelle’s Future Baby NamesAuthor: Patrick Varone Updated: February 19, 2014Can’t wait to see chocolate cake stuck in Kail’s braces. #TeenMom2 @MTV — IBBB (@ibbb) February 19, 2014 Kail and Javi are officially homeowners…and I’m not. Thanks student loans! #TeenMom2 @MTV — IBBB (@ibbb) February 19, 2014 Wait. Do Kail and Javi have matching sleeve tattoos? Matching buzz-cuts next! (Suzi already has one) #TeenMom2 […]
Teen Mom 2 Recap/Tweetcap: The One Where Barb is Glad Jenelle Isn’t SCREWED UP on Da DrugsAuthor: Patrick Varone Updated: February 12, 2014Weather Alert: If Jenelle doesn't get an abortion during this weeks episode…6 more weeks of winter. That's how that works. #TeenMom2 @MTV — IBBB (@ibbb) February 12, 2014 I HEART Barb at an all you can eat pancake house. Glad she wore her polka dot blouse..it's roomy you lil b*tch #TeenMom2 @MTV — IBBB (@ibbb) […]
Teen Mom 2 Tweetcap/Recap: The One Where Barb is Smitten with NathanAuthor: Patrick Varone Updated: February 5, 2014Thanks for taking part in another Live Tweet of Teen Mom last night! Me gusta when you Tweet me questions that I can try and answer during the commercials (you know, when I’m not eating orange slices and dumping small cups of water over my head). Here are just some of the Tweets from last […]
Teen Mom 2 Recap: Eat the Cake Chelsea Mae, I Said Eat the Cake Chelsea MaeAuthor: Patrick Varone Updated: January 29, 2014Thanks to all who took part in another successful Teen Mom 2 Live Tweet last night! You guys crack me up like Jenelle on crack with what you Tweet at me during the show. I’ll get better at responding to more next week. In the meantime, take a stroll down memory lane and enjoy some […]
Teen Mom 2 Recap: Abortions & F-BombsAuthor: Patrick Varone Updated: January 22, 2014Thanks all for taking part in the first ever Live-Tweet of Teen Mom 2! I have to admit I had a blast doing it, especially reading what you all and y’all were Tweeting at me during the commercials. Plus, I think I lost 5 pounds from doing this so, well, there’s that. At last count […]
Teen Mom 2 Announcement…Author: Patrick Varone Updated: January 20, 2014Here ye, hear ye (since I don’t know the difference)! Since the thought of recapping the season of Teen Mom that supposedly was canceled but now is coming back makes me want to dirt nap this here blog I’ve decided I’m going to try my hand at “live tweeting” as “the kids” say. That’s right […]
Teen Mom 2 Reunion: The One Where Everyone Blames TwitterAuthor: Patrick Varone Updated: May 14, 2013I figured I’d save my best artwork for the last Teen Mom 2 recap and, well, I know you appreciate the time and effort it takes to cut and paste a “dog waste” sign onto a picture. It really makes 75.3 years of college loans well worth it. I hate to point out things after […]
Teen Mom Reunion: Why Do I Feel Like Jenelle is Going to Try Heroin Through a Gas Mask?Author: Patrick Varone Updated: May 7, 2013Well dry your eyes and your diaper because it’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for…the end of Teenage Mother Part Deux: Part I. I for one am celebrating by taking a shot of Pitocin every time someone tries to fight back the Dr. Drew tears. I suggest you do the same. And, yes, I’m […]
Teen Mom 2 Finale: The One Where We Only Learn What Happened From Retold StoriesAuthor: Patrick Varone Updated: April 30, 2013No I’m not recapping Unseen Moments (genuflect) but feel free to join me on Facebook and post 74,039 posts about it! Jenelle – Per usual the cameras weren’t there when Barb and Pirate Mike joined superhero forces and knocked down Jenelle’s door to bust her for doing drugs. Luckily, Barb and Pirate Mike are retelling […]
Teen Mom 2: Um. The Walmart Deli is OFF LIMITS!Author: Patrick Varone Updated: April 23, 2013[ Update ] Click here for the LATEST Teen Mom 2 Recaps. They’re pretty funny. Trust. Jenelle – It’s finally Court Day for Barb’s little b*tch of a daughtah, Jenelle! Will she go to the slammer? Will she scissor her way to freedom in honor of Blessed Mother Amber Portwood? Kieffah seems to really care […]
Teen Mom 2: Leah’s 5th Wedding aka My Two DadsAuthor: Patrick Varone Updated: April 16, 2013What to do? It was a tough call to recap Teen Mom and make such ridiculous jokes so shortly after the terrible tragedy in Boston. My thoughts and prayers (yes, I pray) go out to everyone in Boston that was impacted by all of this. If you read here regularly you know two things. (1) […]
Teen Mom 2 Recap: The One Where Kieffah “Mean Mugs” GaryAuthor: Patrick Varone Updated: April 9, 2013Jenelle – For some reason I thought Tori was shot in the face by karma, but apparently she’s back and eating in sweats with Jenelle at some place that is desperate enough for business to have these two moldy pork chops and their camera crew over for dinner. Tori wants to know what the deal […]
Teen Mom 2: I Guess We Know Who Didn’t Let the Dogs OutAuthor: Patrick Varone Updated: March 26, 2013Time for another episode of “Does Everyone Have Fake Boobs Now, Or No?” If you like this recap, please be sure to click the “Recommend Button” that’s all over this post so you can share it with your Facebook friends. If 500 people recommend it, I’ll recap Chelsea’s segment next week. So get to work, […]
Teen Mom 2 Recap: New Boobs, New Ring, and a New DakotaAuthor: Patrick Varone Updated: March 19, 2013Cut the bull (literally), I’m back! I was on vacation in a place where the sun makes it hot outside and I get to get a tan. It’s nice. I also saw a palm tree give birth to a tiny tot. I may have been “the drunk.” Moving on, it’s time for me to catch […]
Teen Mom 2 Recap: I Hate You Both. Never Talk to Me Again.Author: Patrick Varone Updated: February 26, 2013Welcome back folks. It’s time for another episode of “The Kids Are Kinda Pointless Now.” This week we get to see if all the moms give up their children for Lent. Spoiler Alert: Yes! Also, speaking of spoiler alerts click here to follow me on Facebook. You’ll love it/hate it. Be sure to recommend me […]
Teen Mom 2 Recap: Welcome Back Mr. DisrespectfulAuthor: Patrick Varone Updated: February 19, 2013Let’s face it. There’s no way I could top the image above that MTV created so why even bother? The fact that they’ve inserted arrows to display how Kieffer texted Gary as a way to get to Janelle is pure brilliance. The only thing that was missing was a cartoon Barb passed out from “shock […]
This Teen Mom Episode is Brought to You By the Letter (from) VAuthor: Patrick Varone Updated: February 5, 2013I’m not going to lie to you (which differs from the norm), but this blog post title may be the best I’ve ever written in the land of evers. Had I been on stage I would have simply dropped the mic, Shasta’d in my pants, and then moonwalked into the orchestra. This is also known […]
Teen Mom 2 Recap: Engaged and Pregnant in Any Given OrderAuthor: Patrick Varone Updated: January 29, 2013So I’m back after my recent travels and time off. I may have missed part of the episode last week, but it appears that none of these girls gave their toddlers up for adoption yet so, well, we’re still in business. Let’s see what Braces, Chin, Bricks, and Roots are up to this week! Leah […]
Teen Mom 2: Prank Calling Suzi CokeflakeAuthor: Patrick Varone Updated: January 15, 2013Jenelle – Well tip your 40 because the relationship with Josh is over. I guess moving in with someone whilst on meth (allegedly) after 15 minutes isn’t always the right decision to make. I do find it hard to understand how someone couldn’t get along with Jenelle. She is a ray of sunshine and happiness […]
Teen Mom Recap: Counting with CoreyAuthor: Patrick Varone Updated: January 8, 2013How the hell long have I been gone for? Do these girls still own their babies or have they given them up to kind white-folk in exchange for self-tanner contraptions and an endless supply of candy cigarettes? I hope everyone of you had a great Christmas and New Year. If there are other holidays during […]
Barbisms: The 15 Best Barbara Evans Quotes (EVER!)Author: Patrick Varone Updated: March 6, 2012Let’s honor our beloved Barb Evans by looking at some of her best quotes since she’s entered our heart and changed out lives. Someone please roll the “In Memoriam” music, NOW! 1. “This guy is draggin’ you down, Jenelle!” 2. “Yaw nuthin’ but a damn lyin’ hust-a-laaaah!” 3. “And listen to this. High, high. Yaw […]
Teen Mom 2 Reunion Part 2: The Poors Typically Divorce Over Hot Dogs, Y’all!Author: Patrick Varone Updated: February 29, 2012First off, how beautiful is my photoshopping skills? Barb has never looked more dapper and anorexic all at the same time, which really is the perfect mix. Second off, since this is the last Teen Mom recap for a while let’s Celebrity Twitter Bomb this to Kelly Ripa by Tweeting this recap to @kellyripa – […]
Teen Mom 2 Reunion: Pirate Mike Lands a Hooters Girl!Author: Patrick Varone Updated: February 22, 2012Programming Note: We’re using this recap as another Celebrity Twitter Bomb. Tweet this recap with @bravoandy and let him know about IBBB! Just tweet this recap link: http://bit.ly/zXiEcN to @bravoandy and @ibbb Ole! It’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for and by “waiting for” I of course mean “casually yawning whilst giving a […]
Teen Mom 2 Season Finale: Who Gets Custody of the Puffy Leather Couch?Author: Patrick Varone Updated: February 16, 2012Jenelle – Welcome to the latest edition of “Fauxlebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew and His Obsessive Need to Only Wear T-shirts Under His Blazer.” It’s a working title. That lil b*tch of a daughter, Jenelle, is living it up at “the ‘hab” and is ready to get her life back on track, but not before […]