Saint Jennifer Lopez

It seems like just a few days ago we were ringing in the New Year with a little J Lo camel toe and now, just yesterday, we see Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx leaving the Oribe Salon in Miami, Florida with her little camel hiding/suffocating in some black spandex-like pants.  I believe the kids […]

  Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx and her husband Darth Anthony spent a little time on the orange carpet at the Miami Dolphins game the other day at the Land Shark Stadium in Miami, FL.  J. Glow made sure to steam her denim jumper from the “Love Don’t Cost a Thing” video and put […]

….but not when it comes to Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx because she’s, well, just a simple girl from the Bronx.  As a sidenote, anytime I walk by an entrance to the 6 subway in NYC I always yell down the stairs, “J Lo?”  I’m cool like that.  It’s sadder because I actually do […]

No me gusta el palo de las Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx.  No yo soy un lapiz.  Donde estal el cuarto de bano?  These may be all grammatically incorrect Spanish sentences you may be asking yourself when looking at this photo of J Glow as she exited a hair salon in Beverly Hills the other […]

I’m not going to lie. When I first heard Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx was going to be taking part in a triathlon, I assumed the events would be singing, dancing, and acting. I figured she wouldn’t have a chance at successfully completing that. However, once I realized it was running, biking, and swimming […]

Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx and her husband, Squiggy, really did up Italy big time over the 4th of July weekend. Nice way to celebrate America’s birthday, J Glow, by leaving it and going to Italy. Just a girl from the Bronx seems to forget it’s this crap bag country that made her into […]

What a blessed event. Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx and her wife, Marc Anthony, get off their private jet with their twins wrapped up in what I can only assume is office rugging from the late 1970’s. She’s just a simple girl from the Bronx, but not the normal Bronx we all know. I’m […]

Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx and her big bag-o-sass quickly walked up the halls of the Hart Senate Office Building yesterday and ducked into Obama’s office. The pictures show J Glow wearing all black (probably to help camouflage her big ass) and sunglasses as office buildings are usually very sunny and bright. Once word […]

Holy Bailamos J Lo! Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx will be coming to a television set near you (hopefully in panoramic). Have you ever wondered what J Glow would do after she beautifully mastered the art of fine acting and mastered her singing career? Well wonder no longer because now you get to watch […]

Wanna see J Lo’s twins and I’m not talking about her ass cheeks! First of all, she made it clear, don’t call her J Lo. Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx and her two new kids that she shot out of her “gentlemen greeter” were on the cover of People Magazine. Check out Max and […]

Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx just gave birth. Ay! Ay! Ay! Looking at the recent size of her, I’m assuming she gave birth in a cardboard box underneath the basement stairs, but regardless she pumped out 2 kids. Un muchacho y una muchacha. That’s Spanish for “a boy and a girl.” Thanks for teaching […]

Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx really is just a simple girl from the Bronx who’s attending her simply Bronx-like baby shower at the Gramercy Park Hotel. Oh, her baby shower was thrown by Elaine Goldsmith-Thomas who produced J Glow in the “hit” movie “Maid in Manhattan.” Other simple people that were in attendance were […]

So I was walking to work yesterday morning, trying to dodge and weave against the other 212 million people who were also walking to work, when all of a sudden I was walking by Good Morning America and thought to myself, “Is that Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx yelling into a microphone?” And….it was. […]

Say adios to the ass and/or boobs of Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx. She will no longer be doing any type of nudity in any of her future movies. I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that she won’t be doing any more nudity or the fact that she actually will have “future movies.” […]

First off, my photoshopping skills have hit a new level of tragedy, yet I’m proud. Second, people say that all the floods, earthquakes, tornadoes, and fires are all signs of the end of the world. I disagree. Clearly, Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx in concert with the Spice Girls would be God’s final straw […]

Fresh off the heels of her “hit” movie El Cantante, Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx and her husband Marc “turrets” Anthony have decided to join forces once again and go on tour again. They’re like the Tim McGraw and Faith Hill for those of us who look forward to blood shooting out of our […]

Ok, well she’s not asking people to not call her, “Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx,” but she is asking people not to call her J. Lo anymore. According to The Sun J. Glow said that the name J. Lo was supposed to be “fun” but it “got out of control” and “crazy.” Really? Ok, […]

Yesterday was the famous “Puerto Rican Day Parade” here in NYC yesterday and you know what that means….Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx would certainly be on a float plugging something that she was doing. J. Glow didn’t disappoint and plugged her movie, “El Cantante” which just happens to be Spanish for, “I Don’t Believe […]

Wow, I think it’s been a good week or two since I poked a little fun at Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx. So, it’s time. I just came across these ads of J. Glow for Louis Vuitton. The could be old, they could be new, they could be fake. Regardless I think it’s important […]

Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx and her husband, Sir Marc Anthony, decided to spend a romantic evening at De la Hoya and Mayweather fight on Saturday night. Let’s face it, I’ll use any excuse to say “Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx” especially when they are at a fight where the on of the […]

Have you ever wanted to share a beer with Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx? Well it’s your lucky day because now you can! Oh, you just happen to need $2 million (that’s US Dollars, not Yen) and you too can get your very own personalized J. Glow. It’s been reported by drunken sources that […]

Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx has stated that she won’t ever be a size “zero” to Elle Magazine. To quote J. Glow, “I couldn’t ever be a size zero. I just don’t see how I could get down to that size and still be healthy.” Uh, Saint Jennifer Lopez? Yeah, I don’t think you […]

I’m always amazed when Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx sells some albums. Apparently I’ve been wrong that J. Glow can’t sing because people overseas are buying up her music like their the last 10 flu shots and it’s flu season. Yeah, no clue what that was supposed to mean. The photos were taken at […]

Ay de mi! Is Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx going solo? Random drunken insiders to the couple are saying that J. Glow and Marc Anthony are dealing with some bumpy times after they got into a fight on New Years Eve. One random source has said, “There was a fight after she performed at […]

I had reported last week (with my award winning journalism) that the reviews for Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx latest film, “Bordertown” were not the best. Now the pictures have surfaced of Saint Jennifer at the showing of her film at the Berlin Film Festival as she awaited the audience reaction. After the film […]

Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx may need a name change because the rumor police are telling us that Jennifer Lopez and petite husband, Marc Anthony, are in the process of becoming full-on Scientologists….da-da-duuuun! Allegedly, Marc Anthony is already taking his “purifcation classes” which I can only assume will make him look less oily. Actually, […]

There are many diseases out there, but nothing is more tragic for a celebrity to suffer from than Ghostboobitis. The symptoms are visible and really are evident when light flashes at them. Poor Victoria Beckham has recently been diagnosed (by me) of having Ghostboobitis. Scary. Poshtoria was in NYC recently having some lunch for friends […]

Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx, clearly, remembers her roots and where she came from. Like she always says (always) “she’s just a girl from the Bronx.” Yeah, I’ve been to the Bronx and never met anyone who made demands like this. Allegedly, Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx (please genuflect twice) is heading to […]