paris hilton

Ah now here’s the Paris Hilton that really makes a difference in the world.  The sluttastic whorefaced drunken skankenheimer (allegedly) was celebrating the weekend in Brazil and doing a little liquor promotion when she apparently got bit my the “drunk bug.”  Odd.  I’ve never pictured Paris acting out of control.  She kinda looks like the […]

The Audrey Hepburn of our generation, Paris Hilton was all wonky eyes and Twister-like poses on the red carpet at the Vanity Nightclub at the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas over the weekend promoting the launch of her new website ParisHilton.com.  Before I even go to it I’ll assume it’s all pink with diamond […]

I must start this off, of course, by tossing in the photo of Paris slutting by the sign that said “Public Parking” and pointed right at her “gentlemen greeter.”  Jesus Claus totally has a brilliant sense of humor. I remember when I was in Catholic grammar school the nuns used to spend the majority of […]

Someone get PETA on the horn because Paris Hilton and her boyfriend, DouK Reinhardt, purchased a couple of parrots whilst at a pet store in Hollywood, CA.  Terrible.  Why do I have a feeling all you’re going to here out of these two birds is, “Heyyyy betch.  Cawww.  You look good betch.  Cawwww.  Sure I’ll […]

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Reason # 6,671,993 why other countries hate us. Paris Hilton, dressed in a blue dress with white stars all over it (trust me the missing red color was under her dress….trust me) showed up to spend a little time with David Letterman because, at the end of the day, Paris Hilton has the right to […]

Happy Friday and welcome back to everyones favorite lazy segment called “This Time Last Year.” This Time Last Year will take a brief look at what was going on in the celebrity world…this time last year (go figure). Oh, and also I’m lazy so this is pretty easy to do on a Friday. Here’s what […]

Do do do do do do do. Do do do do do do do. Do do do do do do do do, do do do do do do do, do do do do do do do. Ba ba ba bum! Paris forgot she was 27 years old and dressed like this while at the Diesel […]

Happy Friday and welcome back to everyone’s favorite lazy segment called “This Time Last Year.” This Time Last Year will take a brief look at what was going on in the celebrity world…this time last year (go figure). Oh, and also I’m lazy so this is pretty easy to do on a Friday. Here’s what […]

This Clip is in Quicktime. If You Don’t Have Quicktime, Too Bad. You really find Jesus at a time like this. Folks, we almost lost our national treasure (besides Heidi Montard) as Paris Hilton was leaving the Kate Somerville Skin Care Experts Salon in LA yesterday and almost fell down a flight of stairs. She […]

Happy Friday and welcome back to everyone’s favorite lazy segment called “This Time Last Year.” This Time Last Year will take a brief look at what was going on in the celebrity world…this time last year (go figure). Oh, and also I’m lazy so this is pretty easy to do on a Friday. Here’s what […]

Looky eye, always looky eye! Mr. Miagi of Miyagi-do Karate is alive and kicking and is ready to apparently live the simple life with Paris Hilton. He may have taught Danileson how to do the crane technique, but he’s moving on to bigger and better things such as teaching Paris how to not squint one […]

Sorry, I couldn’t think of a better title then that one. Does Paris Hilton’s t-shirt say “I Heart Hoe Bags and Boys?” I guess it’s good to have self acceptance and, clearly, she is a Hoe Bag…or ho bag…whatever. At this point Paris is a caricature of herself. Besides being a consistent douche-bag or “bagadouche” […]

Happy Skankerween! A walking STD never looked so spookstacular! Paris Hilton has the most creative Halloween costume. Ahoy, whories! The SS Hilton is sure to go down at every house she stops by this Halloween season. Being on her knees bobbing for apples as never come in handy more than for this time of year. […]

When I see Paris Hilton I typically think, “Now there’s a giver!” I also get itchy. Anyway, Paris Hilton wants to use her powers for good, not evil so she is carting her flat ass to Rwanda! While she’s there, Paris Hilton will stop by some schools and some health organizations for about 5-days during […]

This may be old news by now, but is Victoria Beckham’s hairdo the new “Rachel?” Seems like it is. This time Paris is tackling that mess and really making it her own by taking basically the same style of our beloved Poshtoria and just reversing it and wearing it to the left. It’s great. It […]

I don’t know how I missed this last week, but Paris Hilton was at the debut of her own denim and sportswear crap she made at Kitson in Beverly Hills. Now I’m not sure if this is the little girl from another country who actually made the clothes for about 13 cents an hour and […]

Paris Hilton, inspired by an artistic scarecrow on a farm in Iowa, has traveled to Maui for a little rest and relaxation after serving her 23 days in the slammer. She may try to disguise herself with that black, but her man-hands will always give her away. Anyway, Paris went to Hawaii all alone, which […]

Here-ye! Here-ye! Parents, keep an eye on your kids because Paris Hilton is free to walk the streets again as she has just been released from the most popular prison stay ever. Never has there been more attention of someone leaving a place since Jesus left his tomb three days after his Crucifixion and, let’s […]

It’s official, Paris Hilton will be let out of the slammer on Tuesday and will be giving her first interview with Larry King, who apparently is still alive. Supposedly Larry did not pay Paris a dime for this interview that will air on Wednesday night on CNN. I think it would be great if Larry […]

Don’t think that once Paris Hilton exits prison she’ll be going back to her old partying ways. Sadly, we won’t be able to play the favorite IBBB game, “Is That Paris Hilton Ass, Boob, or Stanky Putanky?” anymore. Sad. Very Sad. Paris had a brief prison interview with Ryan Seacrest and claims, “I’m so much […]

Hollywood parents must be beaming with pride this week. First, my personal favorite, Dina Lohan visits her daughter Lindsay in rehab and now Rick and Kathy Hilton visit their daughter Paris in prison. With Father’s Day just around the corner, Rick must feel like he’s already received his gift. According to US Weekly Rick has […]

Did you guys know that Paris was back in the slammer? I wasn’t sure if you had seen the 24 hour news coverage, magazine covers, front pages of every newspaper and the United States, radio discussions, the CNN scroll bar, and the fly-overs. Anyway, there is no doubt in my mind that once Paris gets […]

According to my close friends at TMZ (they don’t know me), Paris Hilton has been released from jail early this morning after serving what seems like 12 hours in the slammer. I’m sure in this short period of time Paris has learned a lot, such as: How to become someones bitch How not to become […]

Well it’s official. Paris Hilton is some officially fighting off bitches in prison. Paris, her mom, and her lifeless sister, Nicky, got together and took Paris to jail to turn herself in and start her 23 day sentence. This comes just hours after Paris was at the MTV Movie Awards, which by the way besides […]

Paris, pictured above, is still doing her last minute workouts before she plays the jail game. Some of Paris Hilton’s new prison buddies are already pissed at her and they haven’t even “met” her yet. A classy prisoner who was just released from where Paris will be camping for the next 23 days has told […]

Well we are down to about 5 days until Paris Hilton starts to party it up in the slammer! Even though she is still getting scripts sent to her (see above), Paris has already been assigned a cellmate. Awesome! It sounds just like going away to college for the first time when you get your […]

Out of the 45 days that Paris was supposed to serve as part of her jail term, she will now only be serving 23 of those days. As an added bonus, Paris won’t be having knife-fights with the regular inmates as she will be placed in a “special needs housing unit” (which explains her posters […]

As you all (or y’all, as they say) know, I love me some crazy people. The crazier the better. Well, Candy Spelling just hit “tilt” on the craz-o-meter as she has written a very personal letter to Paris Hilton…and then Candy took it upon herself to send it to TMZ. Oh Candy, that’s sweet (get […]

Paris Hilton’s dad, Mr. Hilton, is in the hospital having an operation for something random. Meanwhile, Paris decided to take it upon herself to make her dad a “get well soon” poster. Paris bedazzled the Christ out of the poster and added all pictures of her and her family all over it. She even wrote […]

For some reason Jane Fonda is still relevant. While Jane was on Larry King and asked about what her thoughts in regards to Paris Hilton doing jail time, Jane responded by saying: “I’m glad she’s being sentenced. I’m glad she’s going to do the time. If she were black or poor she would have done […]

Uh-oh Paris likes to smoke “the weed cigarettes.” I place that in quotes so that the kids think I’m really “hip” and “up on the times.” Sometimes I have a hard time not “typing” in quotes. It makes it more fun. “Anyway,” while Paris was out enjoying the Coachella Music Festival a little while back […]