The Best of Jersey Shore

This show is horrific.  Finding 9 things to discuss was like trying to figure out exactly where Vinny’s left eye is looking. 1.  It’s Refreshing to See Angelina at “Da Club” – You know times on the Shore are tough when part of the crapisode consists of a cameo by Angelina Trash Bags.  And you […]

Like an innocent night that starts out with just one simple beer and leads to 12, I have almost no recollection of what actually happened last night on Jersey Shore.  I think it’s safe to assume that abnormally short and orange-shaded people were drunk and fell down, but I’m thinking there must have been more […]

So I’m convinced that when Grandpa Sitch is on the phone, there’s actually no one else on the other end.  Either that or he forgets that the call is on speaker phone and we can actually hear what the other person is saying.  This time around Sitch is chit-chattin’ with his boyfriend, The Unit, via […]

I used to really look forward to the night when Jersey Shore was on.  Now I give it the classic side-eye like I do when I see “the kids” still trying to pull off the “hipster” look in the poor parts of NYC.  Yawn.  Either way, I watched it so I’ll write a little ditty […]

Get Social: Dear God.  What in the hell happened to Jersey Shore?  Remember when MTV decided to do 4 seasons of The Osbourne’s and towards the end even nuns would yawn at the all the swearing and illegal drugs use?  Well this is same/same…but with tans.  This was, literally, the longest hour of my life.  […]

Since the folks over at MTV seem to think we, as viewers, don’t have the ability to retain what we saw during last weeks episode, they decided to start off the latest episode with the last 5 minutes of last weeks episode.  This basically consists of Vinny getting ready to murder-suicide the pants off of […]

Remove your genitals from the George Forman grill and wash your drip-tray because Jersey Shore is back!  I’m actually outta breath from even typing that sentence.  Let’s just put it out there.  These jokers are getting a little too old for this sh*t.  I’m getting too old to be writing about this sh*t.  You’re getting […]

Well, my friends, it’s the last crapisode of Jersey Shore.  It seems like just yesterday we were learning how Italy officially hated “The America” after the kids from the Jersey Shore landed on their little island (?) and, you know, ruined it.  Now today, they’re getting ready to leave.  You can tell that this show […]

So Snooki is still Slampigachusettes, right? Right.  We pick up where we left off last week which was Snooki calling the oddly proportioned Jionni to spill the greasy beans that she let Vinny “do sex” to her and then, because he’s a gentlemen, tell her about it the next day.  Luckily since Jionni doesn’t really […]

Just so we’re all on the same page, Snooki has been drunk since the moment she landed in Italy, correct?  Thought so.  11 minutes after breaking up with Stumpy McWhatswithyourtorso, Snooki hops in the bed of Vinny and ends up getting it in.  She actually doesn’t remember that she got it in and just thought […]

If your blood alcohol level is at “freakin’ poof” then you’re a little less drunk than Snooki is.  Since last week all 60 minutes consisted of Snooki being three sheets to the wind, screaming, crying, fighting her roommates, and showing her Gentlemen Greeter on stage it only makes sense that this week Snooki stops drinking.  […]

What in the holy hell happened last night on Jersey Shore?  I felt like I was watching an episode of Girls Gone Wild that would only feature Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito 13 sheets to the wind!  It’s like Taxi and Cheers combined, got tanned, got crabs, and then combusted.  Had this taken place during […]

It’s been a busy crapisode of Jersey Shore and by “busy” I mean “no one punched someone until 45 minutes in.”  I guess it’s times like this where we should just be grateful that punches are being thrown at all.  I hear in some countries, their reality show casts aren’t allowed to hit at all!  […]

Welcome survivors of Hurricane Irene, that filthy pig-whore!  To recap what happened in Thursday’s crapisode, VaDeena was a dirty Choochasaurus Rex and then, in the last 42 seconds, a fight took place between Ronnie, Sammi, and Grandpa Sitch.  Ronnie decides to continue with his side passion for interior decorating and bedroom furniture rearrangement and moves […]

Just in case the bleach that you poured through your ears, eyes, and nose didn’t burn the image of Pauly D/Ellen Travolta tonguing the grease out of VaDeena from two weeks ago, MTV is going to remind us again.  Happy Birthday to me.  I’m now officially sterile. And at only 21, what a shame.  I’ve […]

Go fist pump your muffler because it’s time for another trashtastic crapisode of Jersey Shore.  Just to ensure that I throw away my sandwich during the first 15 seconds, MTV has decided to give us all a friendly reminder of VaDeena sticking her midget tongue down Pauly D/Ellen Travolta’s garbage can of a throat.  You […]

Well, folks, it’s the moment that we’ve all been praying for.  Karma has evicted the cast of the Jersey Shore from “The America” and placed them in a little place I like to call “Italy.”  Perhaps you would like to call it that too?  All I know is that I can take comfort in the […]

Get Social: Join Me It’s time for the Jersey Shore reunion so that can only mean one thing: Editing facial reactions and comments within an inch of its life. The only thing I find more comical than The Hills Edit-o-Matic 3000 is the girl that they pulled out of the dumpster giving homeless men and […]

Get Social:  Join IBBB Is Sammi Talking to George Glass? – Per usual, we pick up right where we leave off every week which is (say it with me!) Ronnie and Sammi fighting. Hooray! AnnaMae is going to have to take five, for real, because Arvin without an M is on the duck phone and […]

Get Social:  Join Me! Ike and AnnaMae: The Sequel – Oh no Ike and AnnaMae are back in action this week right where we left off. At first I was like, “Oh yeah, I almost forgot Ronnie was about to get abusive.” There has to be some correlation between Ronnie’s physical altercations, verbal abuse, and […]

Join IBBB on Facebook and Twitter! Grandpa Sitch is Definitely Banging the Dogs – When everyone goes out in the rain storm to get tanned within an inch of their lives, Grandpa Situation is lonely so, per usual, he takes to the dogs of the house.  Ever notice how close he holds the little white […]

El Pollo Has Come Home to Roost – All hail Sammi SweatStains is back at Pedophile Manor! Thank Christ because after a long and emotional 2 days of Sammi working on herself and “doing her” she is fully cured from “the crazy” and is back in action with a brand new pair of glasses. Honestly, […]

Snooki Sexcapades – Finally Snooki has officially “got it in” thanks to Gianni.  Is it not normal that I assume there is bronzer all over the condom?  What?  These are things I think of. It’s fine.  After Gianni is unable to cuddle with Snooki on the sheetless crab infested bed she kicks him out and […]

Be Social:  Join Me! 2+2= Roids: The Aftermath – See what I did there? Sam drives away in her black cab (class act) and Ronnie is left to smoke his Newport’s all my himself. He is distraught. Luckily Grandpa Situation is there to awkwardly hug his head over and over again and give him words […]

Well I’m back to NYC from my trip to sunny San Diego.  So this recap is better late than never.  The amount of emails I received about this recap being late is, well, concerning.  If the 200 people who emailed me don’t hit the “recommend” button I’m going to punch myself in the ding-a-ling until […]

Get Social: Join IBBB Where right back where we left off last week at “da club” and while Sammi Sweatstains and JWoww ShamWow have made peace, it is Yawnie who is drinking everything under the sun and pissing off Sam.  They begin to…wait for it…wait for it….fight.  In his one on one interview Yawnie says, […]

Be Social: Join IBBB Gail the Snail is Back – While Snooki is out in Long Island comforting JWoww ShamWow after her boyfriend ransacked her home, Ryder shows up at Pedophile Manor to bring a lot of awkward “blah” to the house.  Why does she always look like she just crawled out of a hollowed-out […]

Get Social: Join IBBB on Facebook and Twitter We pick up from where we left of on Monday’s bonus crapisode of Jersey Shore with JWoww ShamWow and VaDeena freaking out over the fact the Snooki got arrested for being a drunken circus freak on the beach.  They’re acting like she’s on her way to the […]

That’s right!  It’s a bonus episode of Jersey Shore.  What a great way to celebrate MLK day!  I’m on about a combo of 3 hours sleep in the past 3 days, but here’s what went down last night on Jersey Shore: What 15 episodes have I missed where all of a sudden Sammi SweatStains feels […]

Join Me on Facebook and Twitter! GTL, DTS, DTF, OPP, PYT, LOL, WWW can only mean one thing…it’s recap time!  Here’s what went down on the latest episode of Jersey Shore and, well, if you like what you read spread the word and gently press the “recommend” button.  If you don’t like it, well, then […]

Join Me on Facebook and The Twitter! Break out your gold-plated crabs comb and start scratchin’ because Jersey Shore is back! You know how Jesus promised to come back to the United States via Heaven years down the line? Well, this is basically it for me. With all the dead birds falling from the sky […]

Join Me on Facebook! So let’s recap the ever loving peep out of this Jersey Shore reunion. I have to admit, the reunions are typically the worst as the reactions from what other cast members say usually isn’t from what they really said. Make sense? Who cares. Also, the chick that hosts this show is […]