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heidi montag

Who Gets Custody of Enzo?

Author: ibbb
Last Major Update: May 30, 2010

I swear to God if Enzo gets neglected and is forced to live with his real family I’m going to be pissed!  And by “pissed” I really mean, “I couldn’t care less if he’s shipped back home to his native country of San Diego.” As a way to stay in the news and try to […]

Filed Under: heidi montag

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt: The Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers of Our Generation

Author: ibbb
Last Major Update: May 24, 2010

Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers were on Oprah this past Friday singing “Islands in the Stream” and it really got me to thinking.  Truly, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt really are the Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers of our generation.  Therefore I thought I’d change around some the lyrics to “Islands in the Stream” so […]

Filed Under: heidi montag

Oh Thank God! Heidi Montag is Getting Bigger Boobs.

Author: ibbb
Last Major Update: May 7, 2010

Heidi Montag’s Triple G sized breasts are so March 2010.  It’s time to spruce up her body again so Heidi is planning on going under the knife once again to make her boobs even bigger.  Having said in the past that she wants to get a size “H” for Heidi, it is likely that this […]

Filed Under: heidi montag

Heidi Montag Can’t Jog Anymore Due to Plastic Surgery. In Related News, I Can’t Eat Anymore When Seeing Pictures of Heidi Montag.

Author: ibbb
Last Major Update: April 6, 2010

Future Cat Lady, Heidi Montag, headed over to On Air with Ryan Seacrest to talk about, what else, her 10 surgical procedures that were all done on the same day.  The conversation took a turn when Heidi began to lifelessly chat about her back surgery, which she referred to as having her “back scooped.”  When […]

Filed Under: heidi montag

Heidi Montag’s Psychic Better Be the New Cast Member on “The Hills.”

Author: ibbb
Last Major Update: March 12, 2010

Hey mon! Ya wife’s cheatin’ on ya, mon!  Call me now! I don’t even care if any of the following is true.  The fact that Lindsay Lohan is suing E-Trade for $100 million in the same week that Heidi Montag announces she’s faux-fired Steve Sanders/Spencer Pratt from managing her and, instead, hired a psychic to […]

Filed Under: heidi montag

Well It’s Official. Heidi Montag Turned Into Janice from The Muppets.

Author: ibbb
Last Major Update: March 10, 2010

If there’s one thing that Heidi Montag is good at, it’s comedic acting.  And, lucky for us, she’s trying her hand at a little comedy by teaming up with Funny or Die.  She pokes fun at herself for being an absolute a-hole for getting all those  much-needed-but-should-have-never-been-done surgeries and, in the end, she’s taking a […]

Filed Under: heidi montag

Heidi Montag Boob Watch Continues

Author: ibbb
Last Major Update: February 19, 2010

(Sung to the tune of “Carmen Sandiego”)  Where in the world is Heidi’s new booooooobs? Looking like a straw with two big spitballs stuck in it, Heidi Montag filmed new “scenes” for the upcoming season of “The Hills.”  This included having her face look like it was stuck in a typhoon and eating breakfast in […]

Filed Under: heidi montag

Why Do Heidi Montag’s New Boobs Start at Her Shoulders?

Author: ibbb
Last Major Update: February 16, 2010

Every time I see new pictures of Heidi Montag I always get excited because it’s like playing “Where’s Waldo” but with surgical procedures.  Heidi Montag, the Annette Funicello of our generation, was all painful facial expressions while on the red carpet at Pure Nightclub in Vegas the other night.  She was accompanied by, of course, […]

Filed Under: heidi montag

Heidi Montag Heading Back to Playboy Because, You Know, You Don’t Buy a New Car Just to Hide It in the Garage

Author: ibbb
Last Major Update: February 11, 2010

If you’re like me and want to see just exactly what Heidi Montag ordered from the plastic surgeon you just may be in luck!  It’s being reported that Heidi, along with her completely dead face, are in talks to make another appearance on the pages of Playboy magazine.  If you recall from Heidi’s first Playboy […]

Filed Under: heidi montag

Apparently Where Darlene Montag Lives There are No TVs or Magazines…and She’s Missing Her Eyes.

Author: ibbb
Last Major Update: February 4, 2010

Nothing quite says “family reunion” like an MTV camera crew to capture the look on your face when you first lay eyes on your daughter who mutilated her face all in the name of “show business.”  For some reason, Us Weekly stopped blowing Heidi and Spencer and now People Magazine has taken to their knees […]

Filed Under: heidi montag

Guess Who Saw Their Shadow????

Author: ibbb
Last Major Update: February 2, 2010

Sorry to bring the bad news so early in the morning, but unfortunately the Monthog did, in fact, see its shadow.  So you know what that means?  Six more plastic surgery procedures!  Sweet!  We may be battling off winter for the next 3 months, but the Monthog has it worst as it’ll be fighting off […]

Filed Under: heidi montag

Heidi Montag’s New Boobs: A Shelter for Enzo?

Author: ibbb
Last Major Update: January 26, 2010

Shhhhhhh!  Be very very quiet.  We are all very lucky to be this close to the Montag Monster in her natural habitat.  She lurks close to the ground and tries to hypnotize you with her new DDD boobs and blank stares.  Not to be confused with her similar mating call, the Montag Monster positions her […]

Filed Under: heidi montag

Heidi Montag Plastic Surgery Photos: An Open Discussion

Author: ibbb
Last Major Update: January 21, 2010

I’ve had a few days for the Heidi Montag post plastic surgery pictures to settle into my barely there mind.  I’d like to go on record saying that I actually do not think that she had as many procedures as she claims and believe this is all just another publicity stunt for an upcoming book […]

Filed Under: heidi montag

With the Heat in LA, I'm Sure Heidi's Outfit Smells Like the Basement of a Church

Author: ibbb
Last Major Update: October 27, 2009

  Ah yes, two of America’s sweethearts, Audrina Patridge and Heidi Montag, filmed scenes for an upcoming episode of this little show known as “The Hills” in LA yesterday.  Audrina, playing the role of the beaver-toofed-dead-eyed whore stands and listens to Heidi as the cameras roll.  I will only assume that Heidi is telling her […]

Filed Under: audrina, heidi montag, the hills

Heidi Reads Her Lines While Driving Away from the Church

Author: ibbb
Last Major Update: April 27, 2009

Heidi looks like she’s trying to perform long-division on her hand and Spencer lets us know just how small is penis actually is.  I think it’s great that they can fit an entire portion of the script directly on Heidi’s hand.  I guess it makes sense since 20 out of the 22 minutes of the […]

Filed Under: heidi montag, the hills

If Brent Bolhouse Didn't Ever Want to Be Around Spencer, He Probably Shouldn't Have Gone to Their Wedding and Stood in the Front Row

Author: ibbb
Last Major Update: April 27, 2009

It’s fun to play “Where’s Waldo” with past cast members of The Hills at Heidi and Steve Sanders wedding.  This time around I spotted Brent Bolthouse, who kinda looks like Waldo.  I also thought that Brent told Heidi he didn’t  ever want to be around Spencer again?  I’m pretty sure his odds increase of seeing […]

Filed Under: heidi montag, the hills

A Lot of Troll Dolls Had to Die For This….

Author: ibbb
Last Major Update: April 27, 2009

  Well it looks like all fences have been mended and 16 pounds of troll doll hair were ordered and hot-glue-gunned to the head of Heidi and crew.  Past reports that Heidi and her horse from Crested Butte trotted down the aisle together have turned up false as you can see from the above photo. […]

Filed Under: heidi montag, the hills

It Finally Happened. Heidi's Lips Have Exploded.

Author: ibbb
Last Major Update: April 27, 2009

I KNEW Heidi’s lips were just filled with custard, I knew it!  I’ve decided that today will “Scripted Hills Wedding Day” and because I wasn’t there to recap it, I will bring this d-bag wedding to life on this here d-bag blog.  On a similar note, IBBB is predicting that in about 7 more years […]

Filed Under: heidi montag

Man With Santa Pubes Beard Attacks Lifelike Q-Tip?

Author: ibbb
Last Major Update: April 9, 2009

Oh wait, cancel the call to the police.  A life-like Q-Tip is actually one Ms Heidi Montag and the man with the Santa pubes beard is actual one Mr. Santa Pubes Pratt.  I was wondering why the paparazzi wasn’t doing anything?!  Heidi and Steve Sanders continued their “We’re Going to Burn in Hell One Day” […]

Filed Under: heidi montag, steve sanders

So a Horse Wearing a Wig Trots Into a Store….

Author: ibbb
Last Major Update: February 11, 2009

Heidi Montag put on her biggest tightest cuffed jeans and trotted her horse ass on a little shopping spree at Elyse Walker the other day in sunny LA.  It’s so odd how every store that Heidi trots into allows the paparazzi to come on in too. That’s nice of them.  Usually the paparazzi are forced […]

Filed Under: heidi montag

But Where are the Seagulls?

Author: ibbb
Last Major Update: February 6, 2009

Fashion, put it all on me don’t you wanna see these clothes on me.  At first horrid glance, I assumed that Heidi and Spencer were filming a new and wonderful music video whilst on the beach in CA the other day.  Alas, they weren’t.  Spencer Pratt is trying to get Heidi Montag’s ass (which at […]

Filed Under: heidi montag, steve sanders

Hey, Little Impressionable Girls of America, Don't Worry….No Talent Needed. Apply Within!

Author: ibbb
Last Major Update: January 5, 2009

No folks, your hungover eyes are not playing tricks on you. The pictures above are actually of two separate people. First, we have the talented singer with a new nose, new chin, and new boobs. Her name is Heidi Montag. She was also on a reality show on MTV. Second, we have a talented singer […]

Filed Under: heidi montag

Douche Bags! They’re Just Like Us!

Author: ibbb
Last Major Update: December 22, 2008

I’ve always wondered what it would be like to write creepy comic-strip jokes in the Sunday paper. A normal Sunday paper would never hire me, so I’ve decided to write my own “Hills Comic Strip.” Clearly I have a knack for cheesy jokes and, well, Heidi and Steve Sanders basically write this crap themselves. IBBB […]

Filed Under: heidi montag, steve sanders

Funny, This is What I Always Assumed Heidi’s Vaginastein Looked Like

Author: ibbb
Last Major Update: December 5, 2008

These two can officially kill themselves. I am now giving them permission to do so. Heidi, her new chin, new boobs, new nose, and Steve Sanders filmed riveting scenes for upcoming episodes of this show they’re on. That show is called “The Hills.” Apparently it’s been on for a while. Whilst the two frolic on […]

Filed Under: heidi montag, steve sanders

I Now Pronounce You “Mr and Mrs. Santa Pubes.” You May Kiss Us Weekly.

Author: ibbb
Last Major Update: November 24, 2008

Let me just say that I’ve probably taken 4 days off from the blog in the past 2 years. Of course, of course, I would take the day off when Heidi, her new chin, her new boobs, her new nose, her fake hair, would marry Spencer/Steve Sanders and his Santa pubes. Of course I would […]

Filed Under: heidi montag, steve sanders

And You Know That the Security Machine Beeped Every Time Heidi Walked Through!

Author: ibbb
Last Major Update: November 21, 2008

Heidi and Steve Sanders were heading out of LAX to an unknown destination. I’m assuming they’re flying to Crested Butte so that they can cook up and eat Heidi’s horse for Thanksgiving just like the Pilgrims did in 1492. Perhaps my math is wrong. Anyway, I wonder how many times the security machine beeped when […]

Filed Under: heidi montag, steve sanders

IBBB Exclusive! Guess Who Found a Copy of Heidi’s Resume????

Author: ibbb
Last Major Update: November 10, 2008

Clearly well qualified for any office job. www.myspace.com/ImBringingBloggingBack

Filed Under: heidi montag

Dear Heidi, Welcome to Your Future!

Author: ibbb
Last Major Update: November 7, 2008

Dear Heidi, Welcome to your future! Meet it. Its name is Kim Zolciak. It’s on Real Housewives of Atlanta. This shall be you. Best wishes! Signed, Fate www.myspace.com/ImBringingBloggingBack

Filed Under: heidi montag, real housewives

It’s Voting Day! Make a Difference in What Really Matters…

Author: ibbb
Last Major Update: November 4, 2008

Today, as you know, is a very important day in our lives. It’s a day we vote. It’s the day we vote for Heidi Montag’s fakest feature! Uh, what did you think I was talking about? So is it her boobs? Her nose? Her lips? I mean, really, the sky is the limit! So take […]

Filed Under: heidi montag, the hills

This Time Last Year: Heidi, the Fugly Mermaid

Author: ibbb
Last Major Update: October 31, 2008

Happy Halloween and welcome back to everyones favorite lazy segment called “This Time Last Year.” This Time Last Year will take a brief look at what was going on in the celebrity world…this time last year (go figure). Oh, and also I’m lazy so this is pretty easy to do on a Friday. Here’s what […]

Filed Under: heidi montag, steve sanders

Stop Teasing Us and Just Use the Gun Already!

Author: ibbb
Last Major Update: October 24, 2008

First of all if you’re not going to play “Murder/Suicide” than I don’t want to see these pictures. Second of all, I don’t care why these pictures were actually taken…there is no part of me that believes that Heidi Montag can read more than 4 words (boobs, nose, chin, lips). Third of all, I’m waiting […]

Filed Under: heidi montag, steve sanders

Heidi Montag Before and After. Just Because.

Author: ibbb
Last Major Update: October 16, 2008

The other day an IBBB reader asked me to show a little “before and after” of our beloved Heidi Montard. It looks like fame can really change you. Well, that an a surgical knife. Well, a surgical knife and selling your soul to the devil. Well, a surgical knife, selling your soul to the devil, […]

Filed Under: heidi montag

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