heidi montag

I swear to God if Enzo gets neglected and is forced to live with his real family I’m going to be pissed!  And by “pissed” I really mean, “I couldn’t care less if he’s shipped back home to his native country of San Diego.” As a way to stay in the news and try to […]

Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers were on Oprah this past Friday singing “Islands in the Stream” and it really got me to thinking.  Truly, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt really are the Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers of our generation.  Therefore I thought I’d change around some the lyrics to “Islands in the Stream” so […]

Heidi Montag’s Triple G sized breasts are so March 2010.  It’s time to spruce up her body again so Heidi is planning on going under the knife once again to make her boobs even bigger.  Having said in the past that she wants to get a size “H” for Heidi, it is likely that this […]

Future Cat Lady, Heidi Montag, headed over to On Air with Ryan Seacrest to talk about, what else, her 10 surgical procedures that were all done on the same day.  The conversation took a turn when Heidi began to lifelessly chat about her back surgery, which she referred to as having her “back scooped.”  When […]

Hey mon! Ya wife’s cheatin’ on ya, mon!  Call me now! I don’t even care if any of the following is true.  The fact that Lindsay Lohan is suing E-Trade for $100 million in the same week that Heidi Montag announces she’s faux-fired Steve Sanders/Spencer Pratt from managing her and, instead, hired a psychic to […]

If there’s one thing that Heidi Montag is good at, it’s comedic acting.  And, lucky for us, she’s trying her hand at a little comedy by teaming up with Funny or Die.  She pokes fun at herself for being an absolute a-hole for getting all those  much-needed-but-should-have-never-been-done surgeries and, in the end, she’s taking a […]

(Sung to the tune of “Carmen Sandiego”)  Where in the world is Heidi’s new booooooobs? Looking like a straw with two big spitballs stuck in it, Heidi Montag filmed new “scenes” for the upcoming season of “The Hills.”  This included having her face look like it was stuck in a typhoon and eating breakfast in […]

Every time I see new pictures of Heidi Montag I always get excited because it’s like playing “Where’s Waldo” but with surgical procedures.  Heidi Montag, the Annette Funicello of our generation, was all painful facial expressions while on the red carpet at Pure Nightclub in Vegas the other night.  She was accompanied by, of course, […]

If you’re like me and want to see just exactly what Heidi Montag ordered from the plastic surgeon you just may be in luck!  It’s being reported that Heidi, along with her completely dead face, are in talks to make another appearance on the pages of Playboy magazine.  If you recall from Heidi’s first Playboy […]

Nothing quite says “family reunion” like an MTV camera crew to capture the look on your face when you first lay eyes on your daughter who mutilated her face all in the name of “show business.”  For some reason, Us Weekly stopped blowing Heidi and Spencer and now People Magazine has taken to their knees […]

Sorry to bring the bad news so early in the morning, but unfortunately the Monthog did, in fact, see its shadow.  So you know what that means?  Six more plastic surgery procedures!  Sweet!  We may be battling off winter for the next 3 months, but the Monthog has it worst as it’ll be fighting off […]

Shhhhhhh!  Be very very quiet.  We are all very lucky to be this close to the Montag Monster in her natural habitat.  She lurks close to the ground and tries to hypnotize you with her new DDD boobs and blank stares.  Not to be confused with her similar mating call, the Montag Monster positions her […]

I’ve had a few days for the Heidi Montag post plastic surgery pictures to settle into my barely there mind.  I’d like to go on record saying that I actually do not think that she had as many procedures as she claims and believe this is all just another publicity stunt for an upcoming book […]

I KNEW Heidi’s lips were just filled with custard, I knew it!  I’ve decided that today will “Scripted Hills Wedding Day” and because I wasn’t there to recap it, I will bring this d-bag wedding to life on this here d-bag blog.  On a similar note, IBBB is predicting that in about 7 more years […]

Heidi Montag put on her biggest tightest cuffed jeans and trotted her horse ass on a little shopping spree at Elyse Walker the other day in sunny LA.  It’s so odd how every store that Heidi trots into allows the paparazzi to come on in too. That’s nice of them.  Usually the paparazzi are forced […]

No folks, your hungover eyes are not playing tricks on you. The pictures above are actually of two separate people. First, we have the talented singer with a new nose, new chin, and new boobs. Her name is Heidi Montag. She was also on a reality show on MTV. Second, we have a talented singer […]