The Best (and Most Ridiculous) Harriet Carter Products of All Time!

Well hello and Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday of the new millennium!  We are in a new millennium, yes?   Sometimes, no?  Anyway, if my New Year hangover has finally wore off I will be of sound mind to know that this is the new Harriet Carter Wednesday of the New Year.  And if the Bible is […]

Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday! Can you believe 2009 is over?  I can because there are 365 days in the year and we’re basically at day 363. Did you not figure that out?  Well it’s been quite the year for Harriet Carter products so I decided to post some of the worst products that IBBB has […]

Here comes Carter Claus, here comes Carter Claus, right down Money Wasted Lane!  Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday.  Only 8 more sleeps until all you garbage bag trash barrels will wake up and unwrap your gifts from Carter Claus.  What a treat.  This week Harriet is giving your elderly grandmother the worst makeover ever, allows your […]

Well Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday to you and yours or to you and your hand, whatever your current situation is.  It amazes me that that I’ve been recapping Harriet Carter products for a little over 3-years.  Oh, and by “amazes me” I really mean “makes me want to reach out for someone to kick the […]

This Thanksgiving I am most thankful for all the joy that Harriet Carter brings to my life and I’m also thankful for no pending lawsuits.  Let’s take a look at some helpful products, etc that I have been most thankful for.  Let’s go! Product # 1 – Ho ho ho, stupid! You better hurry up […]

Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday.  I really love when Harriet smuts it up just before the main holiday season.  It makes me feel all warm down by my ding-dong.  Anyway, this week Harriet is signaling sex in the bedroom (or bathroom floor), reminds your kids that Santa and his team of reindeer are always watching you…always, and brings back […]

Another Wednesday, another Harriet Carter crapshoot.  I’m pretty excited about one of the products this week because I have absolutely no idea what it is.  And similar to the fun of trying to figure out if Wendy Williams is a man or a woman, the guessing is the best part.  This week Harriet tells us […]

Happy Spooktacular Harriet Carter Wednesday!  See what I just did there?  It’s the week of Halloween and I used the word “spooktacular.”  It really made the sentence festive and I think people will be able to relate to it.  I’m a wicked pissah writer like that and junk.  Anyway, this week Harriet shows us innovative […]

So it’s Harriet Carter Wednesday.  What are you gonna do about it?  You wanna fight me?  Let’s go then.  I’ll meet you out front of the Carter Factory after school, you jerk.  No idea.  Anyway,  this week Harriet helps you find new and inventive ways to sell your snot-nosed children, tricks your kids with the […]

Oh. Well hello.  Strange seeing you here.  Welcome to the 14,538 Harriet Carter Wednesday in the year of our Lord.  I have no idea what that means, but sometimes I think that if God didn’t rest on the 7th Day we could have actually had an 8th day of the week, which could have been […]

Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday Thursday!  With The Hills now on Tuesday nights, the Harriet Carter time slot has been temporarily moved to Thursday.  Perhaps I’ll switch it to Monday.  At the end of the day it’s really not any of your business.  Nosy.  Anyway, this week Harriet keeps your stuff safe for about 10 seconds, […]

Well, well, well.  So here we are again.  Funny seeing you here.  How could I not start this site up on any other day than Harriet Carter Wednesday.  I’m sure the Harriet Carter sales have been down by at least 75% since I stopped blogging.   Well, like the herpes allegedly on Harriet’s vaginastein, I’m back […]

Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday.  We are almost half way through the year and you know what that means….let’s take a look back at what Harriet has been selling. Product # 1 – Uh-oh! Is your porcelain chipping? Who gives an F. The real issue is why in the hell is your refrigerator in the bathroom? […]

Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday!  Do you think if there were ever an E! True Hollywood Story on Harriet Carter I would be able to take part in it?  I hope so.  I will register that prayer to Santa Christ and Jesus Claus and see if he can make that happen.  Anyjunk, this week Harriet has […]

Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday!  Every now and then Harriet comes out with some real crash-bang-zinger products that make me want to never visit middle America because I imagine houses being filled with this crap.  That probably explains why everyone hangs out at either a gas station or Super Walmart.  But I digest.  Anywaste, this week […]

Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday!  It’s been hotter than a nun after 3 vodka-tonics here in NYC and I, of course, blame the Swine Flu for this.  Why they’re not calling it the “Pig Ouchies” is beyond me.  Our one chance to name a new virus and we blow it.  Eh, such is life.  Anypig, this week […]

Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday!  What a real treat we have around the IBBB office for you today!  That’s right boys, girls, and transgender individuals, Failure Model Chick is back!  And, to top it off, she’s in a one-piece bathing suit.  She is quite the dish!  This week, FMC makes a comeback, Harriet cures the blind, […]

Why happy Harriet Carter Wednesday boys and girls!  Pull up your nap mats and pull down your shirts because this week Harriet is helping diddlers stick to their story, gives the gift of “pen” to graduates, and replaces your stomach with your rack (somehow).  Let’s go! Product # 1 – Hey there kids!  Is your […]

Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday…the Wednesday before Easter!  For those of you who don’t know what Easter is, it’s basically the day when Eli Whitney created the cotton gin so that he could make a real-life Easter bunny who would help Jesus carry the cross and figure out if we’ll have 6 more weeks of winter.  […]

Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday! Do you ever wonder if Harriet sleeps hanging upside down with a Snuggie on?  I do.  This week Harriet hijacks your navigation system, reminds us what animals are really for, and lets us know what will happen if you goose a dragon.  Let’s go!   Product # 1 – Now here’s […]

Yeah let’s bring it back to yesteryear!  This is kinda like when you were looking forward to watching The Office and then as you go to flip it on you realize that it’s  repeat.  Well this is a repeat…and I don’t make anywhere near what those guys make, so this seems fair.  Enjoy! Product # […]

Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday and belated Ash Wednesday.  Since I worship both Santa Christ and Harriet Carter I thought this was important to note.  This week, Harriet sexifies her hair, lets her fake bird take a hit from her bong, and lets us know that she just created skidmarks in her granny-panties.  All wonderful.  Let’s […]

Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday!  When are the Ides of March?  Perhaps today.  One may never know.  Now go back and read those first 4 sentences with a British accent.  It just makes it better.  Anyway, this week Harriet helps us with our caulk, kills some happy harmless cartoon bugs, and makes cleaning the house, sexy!  […]

Why Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday boys and girls.  And skanks.  Boys, girls, and skanks.  And pervs.  Boys, girls, skanks, and pervs.  Yup, that covers it.  I have a confession to make.  Sometimes when sifting through the HC crapalog I sometimes see products that I actually kinda want.  I mean, I’m not discussing any of those […]

Grab your wallet and get ready to spend because it’s Harriet Carter Wednesday!  In today’s tough economic climate people still need to receive gifts.  You need to buy them.  Maybe you can buy some of these gems?  See how that works?  I’m helpful.  This week Harriet helps to pre-qualify burglars, makes t-shirts confusing, and allows […]

What! What!  Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday!  Only 3 more shopping days until Valentine’s Day, but I think I have some great gift selections for you!  This week, Harriet compliments our nuts, gets sexy with our naughty bits, and helps us to impress our Valentine’s Day date.  Check your class at the door.  Let’s go! Product […]

Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday y’all (that’s southern for “you all)! Due to my new website being hijacked and me trying to bitch slap the flu like Ike did to Tina, Harriet Carter Wednesday has suffered. Well, dry your red eye because HCW is back like a flair up of the herpes virus. This week some […]

Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday! Who’s ready to get sexy? I said, who’s ready to get sexy! Well thanks to Harriet Carter now you can scrub the ugly off your face, pack your ponytails for your next big trip, and protect your 1982 wardrobe’s shoulder pads. This week Harriet wants to get you pretty and keep […]

Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday! This is the first HCW in 2009. This means I am officially 2 years down without a Harriet Carter lawsuit or a restraining order from Failure Model Chick. There’s a lot to be thankful for. This week, Harriet feeds your children animal poop, dressed up your local pedophile, and continues her […]