The Ultimate Catfish Recaps from IBBB

What the hell happened on Catfish last night?  First off, why the hell was it on Tuesday?  And 17th of all, I honestly feel like I would have to watch it 11 more times before I actually understood what happened.  Unless they’re going to start drawing these out in cartoon format, I’m not sure any […]

1.  Our contestant, Jeff, is from the part of Florida where pro sports players and the common man are allowed to kill people: Jeff is a sailor and met his online love, Megan, when she “accidentally” friended him on Facebook.  Oops!  Also, can people please stop saying “on accident” vs. “by accident.”  You sound 2 […]

Similar to Joyce DeWitt, each week Catfish seems to reinvent themselves.  This week we’re lucky enough to visit the island of Minnesota, where bears do sex to each other to keep warm in the winter.  Allegedly.  I don’t need bears suing me for roar money.  Deep in the woods we get to meet Miranda.  Like […]

Figure out your A/S/L because it’s time for another crapisode of Catfish!  The episodes are like the Flintstone’s movies…they can never make enough.  This week we meet Solana who, of course, works at a salon(a) and may or may not be a reject from an Avril Lavigne video. I’m just kidding.  She is.  She lives in […]

I think this crapisode should be titled “Back to Basics” because it really focuses on why we fell in love with this show in the first place.  I feel comfort in the fact that we live in a world where in 2014 people are still meeting the “loves of their life” in Internet chat-rooms.  Chat-rooms!  I’m […]

When you don’t have an online relationship that’s in the toilet, but are a struggling actress and still want some camera time, then Catfish is the place to be.  Gone are the days where you need to be 16 and pregnant, you can now be pushing 30 and looking for free press in all the […]

Breaking News:  Nev got a haircut.  Technically the episode should end right there, but we’re all along for another ride in the wild and crazy world that is known as ‘Catfish.’  This week we get to meet Lucille.  Personally I’m not convinced that’s her real name as no one has been named that since the […]

If Catfish was around in the early 2000’s this would certainly be the episode that Kim Kardashian would be featured in.  Meet Antoinette.  Antoinette is basically just trying to get famous and will stop at nothing to do so, including being on a show called Catfish where the majority of the episode consists of her […]

    I wanted to title this Catfish recap “I Can’t” and then just strap dynamite to my blog and have at it.  Just when you think that Catfish can’t get any better, well, it certainly does.  If you thought you’ve experienced the biggest pile of bricks on television last season, meet Antwane.  And, yes, it’s […]

Wow it’s been a spell or two since I’ve recapped something here at Camp IBBB.  As you know (insert Luann voice) I’ve been selling out on the regular with such magazine sites as Esquire, Cosmopolitan, Harper’s Bazaar, and Redbook and, well, it’s exhausting getting famous and whatnot.  However, like Tyra Banks, I give myself up […]

It seems like just yesterday we were in Derek’s driveway or in a lesbian love affair with Precious, but now it’s the season finale.  You would have thought that after Season One people would have been more apt to spot a Catfish in the wild but, alas, we are Americans.  If we’re not spending our […]

Each week it’s like Catfish Catfishes us in new and exciting ways.  Just when you think it’s going to be the same old same old, they throw a wrench at us.  A wrench that typically misses our head and whacks us square in the nuts.  I say square in the nuts as I may or […]

The first 10 minutes of Catfish are always the best.  I typically spend the first 2 minutes or so thinking that I’m getting bored with the show, but before the 10 minutes are up I am fists to the sky and doing some form of a touchdown dance…which I typically get penalized for.  This week […]

I wonder if that chick is still in Derek’s driveway?  I bet she is.  I’m also petitioning for this show to just be called” Derek’s Driveway: Who’s That Fat Chick in That There Shed?”  I think it has a real nice ring to it.  Awkward transition, this week we get to meet who I only […]

I was debating if I should title this blog post “More Than a Woman” or “Back, Back, Forth and Forth” but I didn’t want to rock the boat (rock the boat, rock the boat).  See what I did there?!  That’s right folks and it can only mean one thing…this week our Catfish prey is none […]

I beg your pardon, MTV, but if you’re going to try and convince me for one second that this chick isn’t Loyda from one of the past episodes we’re going to have some big problems.  Either way, let the recap begin.  Meet Ashley.  She’s 20 years old.  Gulp.  And she, my friends, is quite possibly […]

Well.  I’m back.  As I write this I am in the process of sweating out a fever so I can’t really be responsible for what I type tonight.  I’m on enough meds to slow down a charging Kardashian (the one who’s like the bull of the family).  Not only am I back, but so is […]

Time sure flies when you’re Catfishin’ the piss out of people.  I remember one time I was Catfishin’ someone and was having so much fun that all of a sudden I was like, “It’s 2013 already?! And Blossom is still falling for this!?”  I’m sure you all have similar stories.  After the more than horrific […]

I have good news and I have bad news.  The good news is that Dr. Drew isn’t hosting the Catfish reunion.  The bad news is that Su Chin Pak is.  Now I don’t have anything against her, really.  However, is it just me or does she actually make the “cast” uncomfortable?  It’s like relax, Su […]

It’s time for another crapisode of “When People on Craigslist Finally Meet:  A Love Story.”  Just when you start to yawn over this show we’re always introduced to a new cast of characters with odd traits and curve-balls that really make our heart come to life and begin to Electric Slide over and over again.  […]

We’re on what I can only assume is episode 341 of this season of Catfish.  So far, no one has got into a slap-match with anyone so it’s kind of a downer…Debbie-style.  This week through the wonderful medium of television, we get to meet Jennifer.  She’s an 18 year old senior in high school and […]

I think the beauty of Catfish is that it pretty much mixes the camera work of COPS and the stomach butterflies of the big reveal during The Swan…and does it beautifully each week with a new cast of characters.  Ironically that’s probably how Nev pitched this junk to the network heads at MTV.  This week […]

This crapisode of Catfish is 1 hr and 30 minutes.  What in the holy Nev-Hell could possibly happen where they’ll need an extra half-hour?  Something tells me that once they ring the doorbell someone is getting Mary-Jo-Buttafucco’d in the face.  It’s only a matter of time.  This time around we get to meet Lauren.  She’s from Steven […]

  It’s time for another episode of “It’s Never Once Been Who You Thought It Was, Never Ever Not Even Once:  Season 2.”  Friend the people from your Hotmail Spam folder because we’ve got a real doozie on our hands this week.  Apparently there’s a state called Arizona and it birthed some dude named Ramon. […]

If MTV won’t take my plea seriously to rename this show “Fat Chick in a Shed” then please let’s all just call it “I Can’t” because, well, I can’t.  This week we meet Anthony who lives in the part of Texas where people just tack up mirrors wall to wall in their home for inexplicable […]

  I think what I like best about the people on Catfish is that I’m almost certain they’ve never heard of Google…or even Ask Jeeves for that matter. Like, these bricks are the type that log onto AOL chatrooms (circa 1996) and send money to sex-spam-bots on the regular. Oh and enter Cassie. She lives […]