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american idol recap

The One With Crystal Bowersox Crying

By ibbb Updated: April 21, 2010

Well, well, well.  So we meet again.  Now I got more crap about 2 months ago when I asked which week Crystal Bowersox was going to get her teeth whitened.  I mean, I also said that she had a great voice and would probably win the whole thing, but die-hard fans of Bowersox were kind […]

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American Idol’s Andrew Garcia….it FINALLY Makes Sense to Me

By ibbb Updated: April 1, 2010

You know it’s taken weeks, but I’ve finally figured out where I’ve seen American Idol’s Andrew Garcia before.  That’s right folks, I’m talking about Team America: World Police and I am, of course, referencing Kim Jong Il.  That’ll be all.

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Now Which Week Will Crystal Bowersox Be Whitening Her Teeth?

By ibbb Updated: February 18, 2010

Join Me on Facebook and Let’s Talk Teeth. update: July 8, 2010: CRYSTAL BOWERSOX NEW TEETH UPDATE!  I repeat, Crystal Bowersox has new teeth.  Alert! Alert! Alert! Crystal Bowersox has taken to her Twitter account to snap a piggity-picture of her brand new smile, which includes some nice new store-bought teef! Clearly the likes of […]

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Haeley Vaughn: My Pick to Take American Idol

By ibbb Updated: February 10, 2010

Alright folks, Hollywood Week began on American Idol this week and even though I haven’t seen everyone, I’m making an extremely early pick for my top two on Idol.  My first pick is Haeley Vaughn.  Haeley is just 16 years old from Fort Collins, Colorado and just may be Idols first African American country singer, […]

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American Idol Dallas Recap in 17 Bullets

By ibbb Updated: January 28, 2010

I don’t even know why I’m recapping this episode.  I think if I type while watching it somehow erases the fact that I’m a grown man who actually still watches this show.  It could be worse, however.  I could be doing what Seacrest is doing at the start of the show which is standing on […]

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American Idol Recap: I Got 18 Bullets and a Bitch Ain't 1.

By ibbb Updated: April 30, 2009

The President of the United States almost rudely interrupted the American Idol Results Show last night.  So rude.  In case you missed his speech, let me sum it up for you:  The world is going to f’n explode, but if you cover your mouth when you sneeze you may not get the Swine Flu. Moving […]

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American Idol Results Recap in 18 Bullets

By ibbb Updated: April 23, 2009

It’s double elimination night on American Idol.  I wish it was a triple elimination, 2 contestants and then American can just vote me out of life.  Here’s what went down on the results show, in proper bullet point format: Remember when Ryan Seacrest used to wear camouflage army pants and a jean jacket when he […]

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American Idol Results Show: Please Let the Sun Go Down on Me

By ibbb Updated: March 5, 2009

Ugh. Where to begin?  The show kicked off like robotic bat out of robotic hell when the Idol kids started to sing “Hot and Cold” by Katy Perry.  I hate this part of the show the most.  It’s like watching the Brady kids turn themselves into the Silver Platters and belt out a horrific tune.  […]

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Vonzell Solomon: The Latest Airport Terrorist?

By ibbb Updated: June 18, 2008

In, “I Forgot You Existed Until I Read This Story and Then Remembered That You Do Exist, You Aren’t Dead, and You Used to Be on a Show, But Haven’t Thought of You in Years and After Thinking About It Am a Little Surprised You Haven’t Done More With Your Career” news, Vonzell Solomon from […]

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David Cook Wins American Idol

By ibbb Updated: May 22, 2008

Ugh. Watching the American Idol finale was like running a marathon. Whilst watching I had people handing me little cups of water so I could dump it over my head and they also handed me orange slices to keep up my energy. I guess it’s no real surprise who won, but what was really surprising […]

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Is Fantasia Having a Stroke?

By ibbb Updated: May 15, 2008

So I thought I’d put on the American Idol last night that all the kids are watching and figured I’d regret it. I didn’t. I’m grateful to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, that I put it on at just the right time. Did anyone see Fantasia “perform” last night? Well, I’m pretty sure the […]

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Oh Paula, No No Paula, No No

By ibbb Updated: April 30, 2008

I was moments away from slipping into a coma watching the American Idol kids sing Neil Diamond songs when all of a sudden Paula came to life like Vicki the robot from Small Wonder. In case you missed it, each contestant would sing their one song without any critique from the “judges.” After each sang […]

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Idol Doesn’t Give Me Back My Time

By ibbb Updated: April 10, 2008

Idol may be giving back, but they’re not giving me back my time wasted while watching this crap. So I think to myself, “IBBB, you dirt-bag, maybe you should check out “The Idol” and maybe you should recap the crap out of it.” Here’s how far I got… Sweet I love, “Please don’t stop the […]

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American Idol 80’s Night

By ibbb Updated: March 5, 2008

So it’s 80’s night on American Idol so I figured I would check it out. I mean how bad could it be? I grew up in the 80’s (I was also alive during prehistoric times, but that’s another story) so let’s see how the “guys” do this week as they sing the absolute piss out […]

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David Hernandez Showed His Dingleberry?

By ibbb Updated: March 5, 2008

Isn’t American Idol quite the wholesome family show? The singing, the dancing, the audience applause. Well you sick rat bastards did you know that one of your favorite American Idol contestants, David Hernandez, used to show his dingleberry and bum for money? Yup. Rumor has it that David used to work as a stripper at […]

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American Idol Recap: Who Goes Home

By ibbb Updated: February 22, 2008

Ah yes, the Idol is back and is just about ready to kick off 4 people so I thought it was the perfect time to recap that absolute piss out of last nights episode. Who stays? Who goes? How many times will Simon ask Paula what Ryan said? How many peace finger signs will Randy […]

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Dear American Idol Contestants,

By ibbb Updated: February 20, 2008

Dear American Idol Contestants, Hey there how are you? I’m sure you’re already stressed at this point so I’ll keep this short. I have a few requests, if you don’t mind. First, at the beginning of each episode when they announce you one by one and you enter the stage can you please stop doing […]

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Reasons Why I’m Not Looking Forward to American Idol This Week

By ibbb Updated: February 11, 2008

Yeah so “The Idol Machine” is back in full force this week and I’m not looking forward it all. Here’s why: It’s Hollywood week which means that people are going to be singing the worst songs, which will probably include but not be limited to: “Sugar Pie Honey Bunch,” “My Girl,” “Baby I Need Your […]

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American Idol Finale: Thank Christ

By ibbb Updated: May 24, 2007

So it’s finally the American Idol finale and I already regret committing to watching this for 2-hours. Who will win? Blake? Jordin? Who cares? So here’s how the American Idol finale went down. Please note that I am dumber for watching…and I’m ok with that. Hmmm, Blake and Jordin kick off the night singing together. […]

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American Idol Isn’t Over Yet?

By ibbb Updated: May 23, 2007

It’s the second to last American Idol episode, so you know what that means….they are going to recap the hell out of the last season. Oh God. I don’t need to see the what happened 13 weeks ago, or however long it was. Anyway, here’s how the crapisode went down: Hmmm, does Paula have a […]

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What is American Idol Even About?

By ibbb Updated: May 10, 2007

Seriously, what is American Idol even about anymore? I get that the first night is about the singing. It’s also about Paula Abdul jumbling her words and clapping, but I digress. The second night is a complete train-wreck. The results take about 11 seconds, the remaining hour is a mix between Sabado Gigante on the […]

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Idol Gives Back, I Give Up

By ibbb Updated: April 26, 2007

I guess when Idol gives back that means that all the contestants wear white clothes. Hey Idol, it’s not 1945 when white is “good.” All that was missing was the pointy hat. I guess they are mini KKK members in training. Anyway let’s get on with what went down or as I like to call […]

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American Idol Gives Back

By ibbb Updated: April 25, 2007

After American Idol has raped the American public of gazillions of dollars and time lost in our lives, they have decided to give back. Whatever it takes I guess. I’d assume the children of Africa are psyched to see someone else famous besides Sally Struthers. I know I’d be happy for the change of pace. […]

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Sanjaya’s Smile Makes Me Nervous

By ibbb Updated: April 24, 2007

(Please sing the next 3 sentences to the tune of “How Much is that Doggy in the Window”) How much is that pedophile in the window, the one with the stringy perm. How much is that diddler in the window. I do hope that diddler is registered. Seriously? What the hell is up with Sanjaya’s […]

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