Tyra’s Fat Ass Saved a Life

Tyra. For some reason, of which I am not intelligent enough to understand, Tyra Banks is not only on the cover of the new Bazaar Magazine, but is also inside the magazine dressed up like Michelle Obama and playing “first lady” in the Oval Office with a pretend Barack Obama and a little girl under the desk, who I can only assume is Ms. J. Tyra. Oh, and Tyra.
Tyra. Tyra has been getting some heat for these photos, but I say that the people who should be getting the heat are those who do not know and understand that Tyra makes everything about her. Everything. I understand Tyra so much I actually overstand her. Tyra.
Tyra. Oh, and Tyra. In the article that accompanies these kick ass photos Tyra talks about a time when her fat ass literally saved a life. The Bazaar interviewer was discussing with Tyra about the time when photos of her in a swimsuit surfaced on the Interwebs and people made fun of her for not looking so thin, to which Tyra responded that everyone could “kiss her fat ass.” Oh the memories! Tyra.
According to the interview Tyra said, “I had a woman come up to me when I was seeing Rent once. She told me she was going to commit suicide until she saw that show. I held her hand and cried with her in the aisle. I get that kind of stuff; it doesn’t stop.”
Tyra saved my life too, actually. Well she didn’t so much save it, as make it better. Tyra’s fat ass inspired me to keep up this blog. Tyra. Oh, and Tyra.
But Tyra isn’t all about fat asses, she also discusses what she would be like if she were first lady. In typical America’s Next Top Model judging panel discussion, Tyra says about having the Jackie Kennedy flipped up hairdo: “Nooo, my question isn’t to flip or not to flip. Mine would be to weave or not to weave.
And when asked what her secret service codename would be: “KMFA: Kiss My Fat Ass.”
Funny, that’s my ATM code.
I’m not making any of this up. As much as I make fun of Tyra on a semi-regular basis how can you not like her? Tyra.
P.S. Tyra.

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