There always seems to be an upside of having Strep Throat w/ a 102 fever and dying on my couch. You see, the upside (as thankfully shown to me from Jesus Claus or “Old Saint Christ” as I sometimes like to call him) was that I got to stay home and see what I will now refer to as “THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN ON TELEVISION IN MY ENTIRE LIFE AND I MEAN THAT (or TBTIHESOTIMELAIMT for short). This event, of course, was an episode of the Tyra Banks show that dealt with the new teen craze called “Sexting” which, of course, is having teen girls sending sexy images of themselves and dirty messages via their cell phone! Praise the Lord!
First off, these girls were 13-15 years old. Gross. Whose parents are allowing their teen daughters to go on national television and admit that they’ve sent nude photos of themselves to people in their class? Had my fever not spiked to 103 and I started “going into the light” I would have called DSS. Well thank God I didn’t die because I got to see the best part of the show. I’m praying that you guys have seen this episode. Tyra got a hold of the girls cell phone “sext” text messages and then had some adult lady read these messages like she was the court stenographer. It was probably the funniest thing I’ve ever witnessed in my life. The lady in the above picture was the one of my favorites who read the messages in the following way. She would grab the mic, look right into the camera, and start reading (monotone):
“I want to suck your c*ck and put my hot p**#y all over your f(%#ing face until you $#@”
Had I been in the audience they would have had to take me out by ambulance because I would have thrown up a lung from laughing so hard. I literally was on my couch crying laughing. The tears mixed with my high fever really made my face burn as they rolled down my cheeks. Ok, here’s something else she had to read:
“I wish I could feel your %$#% in my hand. I really wish I could see you and $#%^ your #$##%. ”
The lady could barely get through the sentence without bugging out her eyes and making grunting noises. I would be happy watching 60 minutes of this lady reading smut with them beeping out and blurring out all the dirty words. Amen.
I’ve only been able to find one clip of this, but it’s not embeddable, so if anyone ever finds the clip please let me know. It’s a real treat.
P.S –> If any of these 13-15 yr old girls were my daughters and I found out what they were doing I would rip out their insides and use their bodies to stuff with drugs and go back and forth over the US border because, well, I’d be a good parent. Ole!