America’s Next Top Model: Vogue Poses?

America’s Next Top Model clearly must be running out of things to do. This weeks episode consists of a “play dead” challenge and “voguing through lasers.” Really? Resident IBBB ANTM writer/commenter, Jenny, reviews this weeks crapisode.
  • I just noticed that the stamps on the “Tyra Mail” are a picture of Tyra’s face. I also don’t know why I am surprised.
  • Renee says she is going to change her bad attitude. I think it’s nice that she’s not going to be a beast anymore. She then draws a picture of Jael in a straight jacket and gives it to her. Jael thanks her and really likes the picture. What? Am I drunk?
  • What is a pose coach? And what is a “Benny Ninja?”
  • Benny Ninja show the girls how to vogue-pose. Oh I get it, this week’s photo shoot must be in 1989.
  • Jael burns her face with the curling iron. I don’t really understand this because Jael doesn’t have any hair. She must have been trying to curl her cheek…
  • The girls have 2 minutes to crawl through a “laser” maze without touching any of the “lasers” They must vogue-pose as they maneuver around the”lasers.” It was stupid when Tom Cruise did it in Mission Impossible, and it’s stupid now. Also, why is Benny Ninja judging this? Isn’t Dr. Evil the resident expert on “lasers?”
  • Whitney wins this challenge and wins a $40,000 bracelet! She decides to keep the bracelet as opposed to selling it because it has “sentimental value.” Sentimental value? Didn’t she just win it 7 seconds ago?
  • The girls have the typical fight over the phone. Why is this an issue on every single reality show? I hate the phone.
  • This week’s photo shoot theme is “Crime Scene.” So, kinda like the living dead. Basically, zombies. Tyra must be drawing from old Michael Jackson videos, which really is a crime in and of itself. Just kidding….don’t think I don’t remember where I was the first time Michael Jackson did the moon walk on the Mowtown 25th Anniversary Special. EEE-HEE!
  • During the judging panel, I am happy to see that Tyra is sticking with the 80’s theme by sporting a spiral-like perm and a big thick headband. Rad! Makes me want to head straight to the roller rink. All skate, change direction!
  • Blah, blah, blah Felicia (Tyra look-a-like) gets the axe. Personally, I don’t think Tyra likes the idea of someone looking just like her, unless it’s her own reflection in the mirror. Oh well baby Tyra, you can always have a career as Tyra’s stand in.
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