Suri Loses More Baby Fat Than Tom

Suri must have a rigorous workout because she has lost waaay more baby fat than Tom has. Is he kidding with the double chin? Don’t most people try to lose a pound or two before their wedding? And it’s not like he’s packing on the pounds for a big movie role, as he is “without work” for the time being.

It’s almost time for the wedding and everyone is already arriving for this circus, except Oprah who never made the cut. Too bad. Dream bigger next time Oprah. Jim Carrey, Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx, Jada Pinkett Smith, and the paparazzi were the first to arrive for the wedding. I hope they got Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx to sing during the ceremony. I would love to see that. Oh, but I wouldn’t want to hear it, just see it.

Is this whole thing a little insane? When you really think about it, it kinda is. I feel like Tom and Katie feel like they’re royalty. And where the hell are Tom’s other kids? I saw one photo of them and they looked miserable. Have they even been introduced to Katie yet?

Anyway, the wedding is taking place in the next day or two. My money is on Tom crying like a little bitch throughout the whole ceremony. Congratulations, in advance….sort of. Not really.
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