Itâs about time Whitney got some real airtime. Will Whitney spout out greeting card sayings during her date? Will Heidi and Steve Sanders end their fauxgagement? Will Audrinaâs teeth implode? How drunk will Lauren be? Justin Bobby anyone? Letâs see what goes down on this episode, With This RingâŠ
- Yes! The girls are all at the gym working out with 2 pound weights. For me, this is very reminiscent of the Saved By the Bell episode when the girls made a music video and were at the gym singing, âPut your mind to it, go for it, you got to break a sweat; rock and roll you ainât seen nothing yet.â Brilliant. This is like an 80âs montage.
- Now Iâm not 100% sure when it comes to what personal trainers are supposed to do, but should Jarrett be drinking a tall Starbucks Espresso in a can while the girls work out? Also, why is Audrina starting to remind me of Kelly Kapowski? Many questions, many questions.
- Yeah, so when the workout is over the girls go outside for stereotypical protein shakes. Theyâre outstide still wearing their gym clothes which consists of tank-tops. Suddenly, when itâs over Whitney puts on a coatâŠ.a coat that has fur around the collar and the sleeves and has a hood. Brrrrr that 80 degree weather must feel brisk when you get out of the gym.
- I bet my bank account that the church would burst into flames once Heidi and Steve Sanders entered. Looks like Iâm out $10.00.
- The church wonât be available for 6-months. Iâm hoping this means there will be a season 4 of The Hills. And by âhopingâ I mean âI am sitting here with my rosary beads praying to my sweet Jesus.â
- Seriously is it 20 degrees out because now Whitney is getting ready at Laurenâs âapartmentâ with a blanket around her shoulders. Why is Whitney my Nana?
- Lauren is such a good friend that when Whitney leaves the room Lauren goes through her bag looking for make-up. Hopefully sheâll find something for the wrinkles under her eyes. No dice.
- The girls are heading to Big Wangâs to meet up with their trainer Jarrett (because that makes sense) and Whitney is apparently wearing Peg Bundyâs lingerie to this sports bar. She has a scarf on too. Of course.
- Hmmm, Lauren drinking a beer has somehow made her even hotter.
- Whitney and Jarrett play pool and Jarrett basically asks Whitney out. Where are they going, you ask? Oh, on a âworkoutâ date. No really. He is going to train her for their date. Why not just say, âHey fatass wanna go out this Saturday? The movies? No way. Youâre working out and Iâm going to watch you to make sure you do it.â Iâm totally trying that sometime, but I refuse to workout too.
- Whitney doesnât seem desperate at all when she says she wants to go as soon as possible. Ahhh young love. Young scripted love.
- Watching Whitney do jumping jacks and âwind punchesâ makes me content as a human. I could watch this all the live long day.
- Bonus points for Whitney sporting a little cameltoe during her workout. Thatâs right I saw it.
- Heidi wants to wear a crown at her wedding. Fitting. Steve Sanders should wear one too. They can be the King and Queen of Douchebagland.
- Iâve decided no more side profiles of Lauren. Only straight on shots from now on.
- Sweet! Itâs time for Whitney and Jarrettâs date. The second they sit down they are brought their drinks. Efficient. Jarrett looks like heâs drinking a kamikaze and heâs drinking it out of a little tiny straw. Manly.
- Oh my God. Itâs hit me. Jarrett is Whitney. Whitney is Jarrett. They are the same person. The SAME person. This is a match made in heaven. There is no way this relationship wonât work out. Iâd love to have a conversation with both of them together. I can only imagine the crap that they would spew out. Oh and I want to have âgame nightâ with them. I wonder how theyâd do playing Scategories?
- Cheers to that? Really? Why not just clink glasses and yell âWoo-hoo Spring Break!!!â
- What the hell is this line of questioning? Jarrett asks Whitney what her sign is and then Whitney asks Jarrett what his dreams are. Really? You felt that was the next logical question? Good transition. Thatâs like someone asking how your food is and then you ask them about their thoughts on abortion. Smooth.
- Heidi and Steve Sanders are in a fight because he plans a surprise trip to get married in Vegas that night. Heidi is pissed because she wants a wedding as big as her chin. Steve Sanders doesnât want the pressure of family and friends there as he wants it to be just him and herâŠ..and the MTV camera crewâŠ.and then America and the world watching it 2 weeks later.
- Heidi follows close to the script and takes her ring off and Steve Sanders looks at it without blinking and with his mouth ajar, of course. Bonus points for my use of the word âajar.â Thank you. Steve Sanders grabs his suitcase and peaces out. Hopefully heâs leaving to go and take a dirt nap.
- Heidi is busy at work and talks to Kimberly, the new Elodie, about her fight with Steve Sanders. Kimberly is all into the conversation. Elodie would have been better in this situation. Damn her for leaving us.
- Later on Heidi and Steve Sanders made up. Steve stayed at his parents house for the night, just like an old episode of The Flintstones.
- The folks at MTV really stuck it to us, the viewers, by playing Alicia Keys new song âNo Oneâ while Heidi and Steve Sanders hugged and they faded to black.
On the next episode of The HillsâŠ.OH MY HOLY GOD! Steve Sanders has a SISTER! This, perhaps, could be the BEST day of my life. Iâm not kidding. I already have a name picked out for her, as my friend Maria text messaged me her thoughts on her name last night. This name will be revealed next week. Steve Sanders sister looks like a complete cracked out trainwreck. Thank you MTV! Thank you! Justin Bobby kisses some random chick at the bar and Audrina sees it and then pushes the girlâŠ.she smiles while she pushes her, but she pushes her nonetheless. Next week will rule.