The Hills: Lauren’s Random Date, Audrina’s Teeth, Justin Bobby Returns, and Heidi Gets a Promotion

Fine, so this recap is late. Sue me. The Hills episode “Second Chances” really delivered this week and by “delivered” I mean “made me lapse into a pleasant and restful coma.” Here’s how I lost more braincells:
  • I love seeing Audrina and Lauren working out at Equinox gym. What the hell are they doing? Why are they lifting one 3 pound weight in the air?
  • Is Lauren’s personal trainer retarded? Just checking.
  • Jason called Lauren…..only because the script told him to.
  • I have a question. Why does Heidi want to get a promotion at “work” when she makes $25,000 an episode on The Hills? I mean, at that point do you really need the promotion? As a side note, why does Heidi dress like a newscaster at work? This still puzzles me.
  • How much time does Steve Sanders spend on his “Apple” laptop and his “Apple iPhone” and his “Apple iPod?” Yeah we get it. Apple has given you a crap load of money to use their products.
  • Yeah! It’s date night! Lauren’s date “Derek” and the other dude are both equally mentally challenged. They are talking about mullets before Lauren and Audrina show up. Ok fine, that was cool.
  • “Derek” spends 20 minutes talking about his 40 cent t-shirts. This kid can’t get worse.
  • Ok, he can. “Derek” then tells Lauren at Le Deaux that he likes her more than any girl he’s known and then he said he murdered some people. Hey MTV, can we grab a quick background check? Thanks.
  • What are Whitney’s actual responsibilities. I want to see her job description. Wait, what is Lauren’s job responsibilities? She is just taking clothes off of a rack and placing them elsewhere on the rack. Where can I get a job like this?
  • Again, why does Heidi want this job? It must pay minimum wage and she makes $25,000 an episode. She’s getting close to “Friends” money.
  • Lo’s new nose has arrived. Why is Lo the only one who brings up Justin Bobby?
  • Congrats. Heidi got the promotion. Elodie is going to have to move out of her apartment and live in a dumpster. She can share the space with Steve Sanders. It’s great the Heidi can elevate her “douche bag” status on an episode by episode basis.
  • Lauren meets up with Jason for “scripted coffee” and it makes me miss Cami from Laguna Beach. Is that a normal reaction?

The Hills
Justin Bobby

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