The Hills: Lauren’s Random Date, Audrina’s Teeth, Justin Bobby Returns, and Heidi Gets a Promotion

September 11, 2007 by ibbb

Fine, so this recap is late. Sue me. The Hills episode “Second Chances” really delivered this week and by “delivered” I mean “made me lapse into a pleasant and restful coma.” Here’s how I lost more braincells:

I love seeing Audrina and Lauren working out at Equinox gym. What the hell are they doing? Why are they lifting one 3 pound weight in the air?

Is Lauren’s personal trainer retarded? Just checking.

Jason called Lauren…..only because the script told him to.

I have a question. Why does Heidi want to get a promotion at “work” when she makes $25,000 an episode on The Hills? I mean, at that point do you really need the promotion? As a side note, why does Heidi dress like a newscaster at work? This still puzzles me.

How much time does Steve Sanders spend on his “Apple” laptop and his “Apple iPhone” and his “Apple iPod?” Yeah we get it. Apple has given you a crap load of money to use their products.

Yeah! It’s date night! Lauren’s date “Derek” and the other dude are both equally mentally challenged. They are talking about mullets before Lauren and Audrina show up. Ok fine, that was cool.

“Derek” spends 20 minutes talking about his 40 cent t-shirts. This kid can’t get worse.

Ok, he can. “Derek” then tells Lauren at Le Deaux that he likes her more than any girl he’s known and then he said he murdered some people. Hey MTV, can we grab a quick background check? Thanks.

What are Whitney’s actual responsibilities. I want to see her job description. Wait, what is Lauren’s job responsibilities? She is just taking clothes off of a rack and placing them elsewhere on the rack. Where can I get a job like this?

Again, why does Heidi want this job? It must pay minimum wage and she makes $25,000 an episode. She’s getting close to “Friends” money.

Lo’s new nose has arrived. Why is Lo the only one who brings up Justin Bobby?

Congrats. Heidi got the promotion. Elodie is going to have to move out of her apartment and live in a dumpster. She can share the space with Steve Sanders. It’s great the Heidi can elevate her “douche bag” status on an episode by episode basis.