You know what? I think it’s pretty damn rude that “The Hills” will be ending before the actual world ends. I always assumed it would be a neck and neck (or rack and rack) race to the finish line of world implosion. MTV, who is now officially dead to me, has decided that we’ve all had enough of Heidi Boobs-Bot, Steve Sanders, Teefs Pats, Sandy Sanders, HOlly Ethel Mertz Montag, Justin Bobbysocks, Stacie the Pointless Bartender, Raspy Coke Voice Cavallari, Billy from “Who’s the Boss,” Frankie “I’ll Be a Real Cast-member Some Day” Delgado, Broady Jenner, etc, etc, etc.
Well you know what? I’m not ready yet. I’m not. Sure the new season starts up on April 27th at 10pm, but I’m not giving up without a fight. Can’t we at least do a spin-off with Darlene Montag and that damn horse from Crested Butte? Maybe call it “The Buttes?”
You know, I can’t remember when they were not there, when I didn’t care for anyone but Audrina’s boobs. I swear we’ve been through everything there is, can’t image living without The Hills, can’t imagine anyone Kristin Cavallari wouldn’t do. Through the years, they’ve always let me down, they turned my life around, the lamest days I found, I found with them. I’ve always been afraid, I almost wish The Hills was never made, but I’m so glad I’ve stayed, right here with you, through the yeaaaaarrrrs!