What a real treat this episode was! The writers of The Hills must have been working overtime to not only add to the script that J Wahl has a girlfriend, but they are moving in together, and are now getting engaged. Lisa Loveless makes another cameo this episode, as does Jenn Bunney. The only person missing this week? 3 words: Elodie. Here’s how this episode, “For Better of For Worse” went down:
- So, I’m an idiot. I know, you’re shocked. In the 3,000 “The Hills” commercials I saw over the past week I thought Jason said to Lauren, “yeah, but I do want you to be my girlfriend.” Yeah, no. Time for IBBB to get his hearing checked because he really said, “yeah, but I do want you to MEET my girlfriend.” Yup, that changes everything. I’d also just like to say that Jason isn’t as good of an actor as Lauren and definitely not as good as Steve Sanders.
- What’s up with Lauren’s “baby” voice. Trash. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t toss her outta bed, but it’s aggravating.
- Woo-hoo! And enter Lisa Loveless AGAIN! Two episodes in a row? I’m in heaven. I love how Lisa Loveless is dressed like a lumberjack right now. And with that combover? HOT!
- I love watching Whitney take direction from Lisa Loveless. Whitney looks like she’s trying to translate German to Chinese when Lisa is talking.
- Heidi shops for a wedding dress. No joke, when Heidi and Jenn Bunney were walking up the street to the bridal shop I swear to God I thought she was with Elodie. This got me to thinking, here are my picks for Heidi’s bridal party: Jenn Bunney, Jenn Bunney’s old nose, Lisa Loveless, Lisa Loveless’ combover, Elodie, Brent BoltHouse, and the horse that lives at Heidi’s parents ranch. I’d like to see each of those things walking down the aisle.
- Bonus points for Jenn Bunney asking Heidi if she thinks she’s making a mistake once she was technically wearing the wedding dress. What a great bridesmaid.
- Whitney and Lauren have to go to a fitting for Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. When they open the door it’s like a whole room of Justin Bobby’s!
- One dude in the band wears a size 28 jeans and the other dude literally wears a size 8 woman’s jeans. I don’t know what’s worse. The fact that one is wearing girl jeans or the fact that any man can fit into a size 28. Technically those should be girl jeans. Moving on.
- The gangs goes to a dive bar called “Dime Bar.” When they walk in, it’s a bar filled with Justin Bobby’s. Seriously, Justin Bobby’s are everywhere. The bar is kind of like “Where’s Waldo” but instead on The Hills it’s “Where’s Justin Bobby?” See if you can spot him in the crowd and win a prize.
- Everyone starts doing shots and like the typical “girls” that this crew is they talk about doing “Red Headed Sluts.” Why does every girl brag about that shot?
- Whitney says, “I hope I don’t get wasted,” but then throws back a “variety pack” of shots. Lauren looks all nervous. Prude. What is she nervous about? Does she think she’ll get fired from Teen Vogue and still only make $25,000 an episode? Yeah, I’d be nervous too.
- Commercial Break: So….the new “scripted show” on MTV coming out…Kaya? Really? I’ll start calling it Kaka. And what do they mean the first “scripted” drama on MTV? What about The Hills, Laguna Beach, Newport Harbor, 8th and Ocean (remember that crap?), Real World, Road Rules, etc. Those weren’t all scripted? Oh wait, those were scripted comedies not dramas. Ok, I’m all caught up.
- Seriously, is Whitney reading cue-cards? No joke? I think she is. When they’re waiting for Red Jumpsuit to show up for the photoshoot, Whitney is all like, “Where-are-they? I-hope-they-didn’t-have-car-trouble.” Very robotic. Awesome. And the Emmy goes to…
- Although, bonus points for Whitney’s impersonation of Lisa Loveless. Nice job on making fun of your boss on camera. I’m sure she’ll never see it. Do it behind her back like the rest of us.
- Heidi and Steve Sanders are registering for their wedding and I secretly pray that the all the glasses on the wine shelf collapse and cut them up. Is that not a normal thought process?
- Awesome, Jason’s house-warming party. We get to meet his girlfriend, “Katja.” Wow, way to trade down Jason. To quickly sum up, they just moved in and somehow are now engaged at the party, yet we missed the proposal. I would guess this is how he would have proposed: Katja, the producers told me to tell you we’re engaged, so…cool? Thanks.
- Who’s that old bald dude that Audrina was talking to? Creepy.
- Lauren decides to basically tell Jason that he’s being an idiot and that he’s too young to get engaged. I love how Lauren has this disease where she finds fault in everyone else who is in a relationship because she is miserable and alone. FINE. Lauren, I’ll come to LA and we can date for a while. See you in 6-hours.
On the next episode of The Hills: Elodie is back! God bless that crazy bastard. Elodie quits her job at BoltHouse. Sweeeeeet. Stay tuned.