Seriously, when did Heidi Montag turn into Teri Hatcher? Ay yi yi. Anycrap, The Hills final script is hot off the scripted press and scriptedly ready to script the nation with scripted words, scripted tears, scripted scenes, scripted drug scenarios, scripted divorces, scripted anger management, scripted teeth, etc. The one thing that is real? Eye rolls.
Checking out this clip, which for some reason provides us with an over 2 minute recap of all the past seasons, we learn that the best scenes will probably take place during the last episode. Audrina is dating Ryan Cabrera who, evidently, traded up from nose to teeth. Kristin gets confronted about some crazy drug addiction. Lo finds ways to stay on the show. Stephanie Pratt says words like “butt job” whilst tilting her head to the side and looking inquisitive. And last, and certainly least, Heidi goes home to Crested Butte to f*ck her horse and show her mother her brand new store-bought face. When Heidi asks her mother if she likes her new face, her mother asks her to rephrase the question….like they’re playing a round of Jeopardy. I have no idea. We then get to see Heidi break down in tears and completely change her nationality right before our very own eyes. Magic. Pure magic. Steve Sanders also gets a little misty eyed when Brody tells him he’s miserable in his marriage and angry.
So what will become of The Hills gang? Well here on earth, only time will tell. However, in the afterlife they are all, most certainly, going to be burning in the fiery pits of hell. Enjoy the clip!