Ugh! Stalking people is absolutely exhausting! After seeing a craptastic pukeview of Whitney’s new reality show, “The City” I immediately fell in love with a new “character” who had about 4 seconds of airtime. There haven’t been sweeter words ever whispered than “Hi, I’m Olivia.” After I picked up my perverted jaw I immediately took to “The Google” to find out just who this chick was. Here’s what I discovered:
Her name is Olivia Palermo and she’s considered some sort of New York City socialite. Sweet. I immediately assume she’s a complete douche bag, but let’s just call it like it is….I always fall for people with douchey qualities. Always. She’s right up my alley and, hopefully, I’ll be right up hers. And by “hers” I am, of course, talking about her “Hoo Hee Hoo Ha Ha Ting Tang Walla Walla Bing Bang.”
I’ve taken the following stalking steps. I found Olivia Palermo’s myspace page and requested her as a friend. Cha Ching. Get in early and get in often. I have now set up this blog post as a trap in hopes (and assumptions) that she is d-baggy enough to Google her own name and hopefully she will find me. She will, of course, fall for my charming writing style and wonderful wit, and then will cruise on over to my myspace page and send me a delightful message. I mean, sure she has a boyfriend, but what the F ever. I can hold out.
So, talk to you soon Olivia….or should I call you by your future name….Olivia BloggingBack. It has a nice ring to it.
P.S–> I’m broke as a joke and blog for fun….so I hope your expectations aren’t too high.
P.P.S –> I’ve added a photo of Kelly CUNTrone for all the Olivia haters who will email me to tell me that “she’s not that hot.” Kelly only makes Olivia BloggingBack even hotter. Tilt!