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Now onto The City recap….cow bell cow bell cow bell cow bell…..
- Sweet! We’re going to get to see Ozzy Bobby and his band play in this episode. I believe their name is “Jesse and the Rippers.” Listening to them play actually makes me think “Do the Jessman” is more entertaining. Whitney drums up the brilliant idea to invite Olivia to see the band play. I bet that’ll be a great idea without any drama and awkward moments.
- Dude, how skinny is Olivia? She looks 2 toothbrushes deep skinny, if ya know what I mean. If not, let me explain. It looks like she got that skinny by shoving 2 toothbrushes down her throat as a way to make herself throw up the food that she ate and, in turn, lose weight. Was that not clear? Also, that black shaggy jacket she’s wearing makes it look like a bear is trying to bum-rape her. Bum rape. Ouch.
- Lunch with Olivia and Nevan seems painful, not only because he calls her “babe” but because I also can’t seem to figure out if something is wrong with his eyes…like he has that lazy-eye disease. You can’t catch that, right?
- Whitney and “The Bangs Monster” are in cab heading to Olivia’s apartment, but it looks like there’s a green-screen behind them and the editing department just made it seem like they were in a cab. Also, how many camera people are in the front seat because we’re seeing about 3 different angles of Whit and The Bangs Monster during the cab ride. I bet the cab is just on a flatbed truck and that truck is driving all of them around town.
- Yay! Olivia’s apartment! I like seeing this because I want to learn some good hiding places so that one day when I find her apartment and break in, I’ll know where I can secretly live for 2 weeks and watch her every move. Is that odd?
- Olivia’s apartment isn’t that big. I know that sounds bad, but it’s not. It’s insanely nice, but it’s “New York City” sized. Although she does have a huge walk-in closet (that’s probably replaced the kitchen) with hats on mannequin heads because, you know, that’s normal.
- Whitney and The Bangs Monster arrive at Olivia’s apartment and Olivia is dressed like Colonel Sanders. I was expecting her to pass them a bucket of chicken and a side of cole slaw when they entered. We do learn, however, the best part of the episode for me…which is that Olivia’s dogs name is “Mr. Butler.” Let me repeat that for ya. Mr. Butler. Look, any animal that has a “Mr” or “Mrs” is just wrong. And it’s a key indicator that the owner has douche-like qualities.
- We also learn that Olivia calls champagne “Champy.” Worst. Ever. At this moment I began my “deny citizenship” process.
- Olivia is giving the girls “champy” and changing outfits because she feels like she should wear “all black to a rock concert.” Olivia changes from her white Colonel Sanders jacket to, what I believe is, the same jacket except in black. The girls are officially late for the “rock concert.” This is actually the storyline of the episode. No really, that’s it.
- At the “rock concert” I believe Jesse and the Rippers just finished their take on “Human Pudding.” We’re human! We’re pudding! Human pudding!
- Later, Whitney asks The Bangs Monster to “go to the bathroom” so that Whitney can actually talk about how Ozzy Bobby is pissed that Whitney was late for the “show.” Really? Whitney is all concerned over this. Why do I feel like if Whitney got slapped by Ozzy Bobby she’d think she deserved it. Grow a pair, Whit. Be more like Kelly Cutrone…you know, have testicles and a penis.
- The next day, Olivia plays Santa Claus, and books Jesse and the Rippers at a charity event at The Gansevoort Hotel. Can I say I love this place? Great roof-deck. And I love drinking on a roof. Sure, that’s a problem, but I like it.
- Sidenote, Ozzy Bobby couldn’t be any less grateful that Olivia got him this gig. I just said “gig.”
- The Bangs Monster and her ex-boyfriend head out to have a candlelit dinner. My favorite color is blue.
- Woo hoo! Lame party at Hotel Gansevoort! Ok, it’s usually not that lame. Maybe it is. Maybe I’m lame. I probably am. The drinks there are kinda overpriced, but still cool view.
- Jesse and the Rippers are performing and Nevan is 100% teeing off on them while they’re playing. It’s almost like he’s live blogging this performance. Does he read my site? He even makes a cow bell joke. Hmmm, suspect. Nevan continues to make fun of Ozzy Bobby and Whitney hears the whole thing….er…I mean the whole thinK. Sure Nevan (or “Bevan” as Ozzy Bobby likes to call him) is a huge huge huge tool, but this part was actually kind of funny and made the episode worth watching. There, I said it.
- Ozzy Bobby and Whitney left the “show” without even saying “bye” or “thanks” to Olivia and her two braids that she always has wrapped around her head. How rude! Someone is about to get hell in the office tomorrow!
- Fast forward past the boring Bangs Monster and her pointless love-life and let’s move onto Olivia yelling at Whitney in work….
- Olivia asks Whitney what she thought of last night…even before she took off her Sargent Pepper jacket. To my surprise, Whitney tells Olivia that she thought it was a stab in the back (ouch) to have Olivia and Nevan standing in the back and hearing Neven making fun of the band the whole time. It wasn’t so much a “stab in the back” as it was “needed in order to make this show watchable.” There’s a difference, Whitney. Know it. Understand it. Embrace it. Love it. Live by it. Sit on it. Shit on it. Diddle it.
- Olivia does not take “the crap” from Whitney at all. I believe this part is not scripted at all, because I had a little cringe factor while watching it. Olivia is such a big B. I love it. She cuts Whitney off whilst talking (talkinK) and ends the conversation by saying that it’s not the time nor place (I think she said “nor”) to discuss this and in the future they need to keep their personal crap out of work. Oh no she didn’t! Nobody better make my Whitney feel bad. Nobody! Except Olivia…so…uh…I guess it’s ok then.
So, favorite part of the episode? Ozzy Bobby’s band? Mr. Butler? The “altercation” in work? Olivia trying to dance at “the show?” Which was it?
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