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Christmas has come early as the new cast of Teen Mom has been released. At first when I discovered (via 14,000 emails) that Teen Mom 2 was not going to include Amber, Gary, Butch, April, Debra, her trash claw, and Farrah’s ugly cry I was really upset. Devastated in fact. However and then I saw just who was going to be entering my apartment every Tuesday night starting January 11th and I am peace with it thanks to two people and two people only: Jenelle and her mother.
Sure there are other trash heaps that will appear week after week like Leah, Kailyn, and Chelsea but they’ll go more down the Maci and Bint-Lee route where I can mainly make fun of their accents and white trash sports interests. Lay up. However, Jenelle is already my early favorite because she is like Farrah in terms of her most likely to drop the baby; because she’s like Amber where she beats the bag out of her mother this season (see below clip); because her mother is the perfect mix of April and Butch sprinkled with the most delightful Boston accent food stamps can buy.
If you need to catch up with Jenelle from her episode of 16 & Pregnant check out my older recap here. However, to recap the recap some of my favorite lines Jenelle’s mother had said include but are not limited to:
“…and you’re paaaaahtyin’ your ass off!”
“…you kids think this baby is like a dog or a cat, where you just leave it on the couch and go out paaaaahtyin’.”
“…you don’t know how stressed I am. I got this little bitch of a daughter (that’s you) who takes off all the time….”
“…this is my grandson and it’ll be a cold day in hell before you walk away and not have someone take care of this baby properly.”
How great! In the upcoming season of Teen Mom, it appears that Jenelle is tired of people thinking she’s a bad mother because, you know, it’s all captured on camera and then I write about it. Also coming up is Jenelle’s mother trying to get full custody of Jenelle’s baby, which leads to a screaming match in front of her house and then her mom being pushed into a door (a la Amber and Gar Bear). Seriously I can’t wait. How they’re mixing Jersey Shore and Teen Mom together is quite genius!