So Everyone is Quitting Teen Mom 2 Apparently

While the crapisode was a royal mess (shoutout to the royal wedding so I resonate with “the kids”), I have to admit I’m totally digging how all the teen moms are filming the same scenes together.  Plus, I love a garbage dump of a storyline so that fact that almost each teenage mother was basically fighting with someone else in individual rooms armed with bodyguards was, well, a treat for both the eyes and the ears.

We picked up where we left off last week, which was the continuation of filming the old Teen Mom 2 reunion and Briana’s sister Brittany cussing out Kail for calling her sister “ratchet.”  It’s the oldest story in the book, really.   Everyone ends up going into their own rooms (kids, go to your room!) and next thing you know Kail’s friend “Bone” comes out, walks into Briana’s room and says that they shouldn’t all be ganging up on Kail.  I believe she was also wearing a red floral romper, but I can’t be entirely sure.  I spend too much time looking around the background for Waldo and the like.

Bone tries to play it tough, but I can’t take her seriously when she’s dressed in traditional prairie garb.  It’s like she’s in a play.  Anyway, she tells Briana to make sure it doesn’t happen again all whilst walking out of the room and going back to hers.  Something snaps in Briana (yes!) and she follows her out of the room (holding her baby, mind you) and yelling, “I’ll slap the sh*t out of you.”  She keeps saying it.  I’m into all of it.  Next thing you know Brittany comes out of the room like a caged animal screaming that she may be small, but she is the wrong one to mess with (standard reality show fighting babble).  I really love her.  Sadly, the 10,000 bodyguards won’t let her into Kail’s room or really up the hall for that matter.  At one point, Chelsea peeks her head out of her room to see what’s going on like she’s a modern day cuckoo clock.

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Brittany later apologizes to the producers and lets them know they don’t have to worry about her or her family “going off” or being a handful because she’s not going to fight anyone.  She explains that she just went off in the moment, but is working on it. She then smiles and asks MTV to not kick her and her family off the show.  You gotta love it when you get to witness the moment they realize this is the best paycheck they’re going to get and they don’t want to mess with that.

You know who else continues to be a mess?  David and Jenelle. We had already seen their reunion clips from last season when David creepily stands behind Jenelle on the set and makes her leave, but what we didn’t see is all the commotion that went on in the hall when the producers were trying to figure out why they were leaving and if they’d be back.  I really think David thinks he’s funny and charming, but it comes across as scary, creepy, and contagious.  I wonder if they’ll show his police station confession one day on Dateline?  I just hope Barb gets to make an appearance.

Meanwhile, because of all of the hijinks and the endless comments about this “not being Jerry Springer,” Kail, Leah, and Chelsea meet with the producers to basically try and get Jenelle and Briana kicked off the show, or they threaten to quit themselves.  I mean, Kail was the only one really saying that.  Leah and Chelsea looked like they were having thought-bubbles of emoji dollars being popped over their head.  It’s like, good luck with getting actual work after this.  And I’m not talking about holding up that teeth whitening tool on Instagram for $50 bucks a pop.  Speaking of which, head on over to my Instagram page here and follow me.  Find the photo of me posing with DebzOG and win a prize.  (Please note, a prize will not be given).

Jenelle ends up coming back to film that last group scene with all the other moms and everyone is awkwardly taking selfies with each other, but in groups.  Meaning, Jenelle and Briana won’t take selfies with the other girls and vice-versa.  Also, for real, how many of these were they taking?!  Everything seemed to have been going off without a hitch (you know, minus the entire episode) when it’s basically a wrap and Jenelle witnesses Nathan’s girlfriend getting a hug from Barb on camera. Well all bets are off now!

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In that magical hallway where everyone fights, Jenelle starts shouting out things to set off Nathan’s girlfriend.  I have to admit, Nathan’s girlfriend (no first name needed) was actually being pretty calm and respectful and asked Jenelle to leave the room.  When she wouldn’t, she left herself.  Is that the “adulting” I keep hearing about these days?  From there things totally escalated and Nathan’s mother, Doris, was getting in on the action.  Everyone is screaming and swearing, but no one was chanting “Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!” so I was disappointed to say the least.  What I wasn’t disappointed in was Barb going off the rails!

Apparently Barb was chatting with Jenelle’s friend in front of the cameras and Jenelle wanted to know what “the F” they were talking about.  Barb then starts SCREAMING “You little b*tch! I’ve NEVAH seen you like dis before!  Even when you were on da drugs you weren’t like this!”  I love that so much I’m going to add it as a pullquote:

You little b*tch! I’ve NEVAH seen you like dis before!  Even when you were on da drugs you weren’t like this!” ~ Barb

Slow clap all around.  Then David gets involved and Barb literally needs to be held back by security.  Can you imagine?  Then, for reasons that are odd to me, she kind of starts chasing him out the door with the middle finger and screaming “F you!”  It’s what dreams are made of, really.  And I’m grateful.  I’d also be grateful if someone bought one of these Barb inspired t-shirts I made.

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In the end, Jenelle and David are in the parking lot talking to the producers and crying.  David starts crying saying, “Kaiser wanted to give me a hug and couldn’t.”  So I basically think some form of drugs could be involved.  Allegedly.  I’m making that up.  #Entertainment

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