I mean, you know things are bad in Jenelle’s life when a simple car ride with her son can’t just go as planned. As they’re driving along the highway of East Bum, Jenelle notices that there’s a truck tailgating her. Now I thought tailgating was when you basically crush beers and grill burgers in the parking lot before a football game, but that’s just me. Apparently there are other definitions as well. Who knew that’s how words worked?! Ether way, this truck is really up her naughty no-no and Jenelle decides to basically play chicken with him. She starts going really slow (and telling Jace how slow she’ll go the whole way) all while poor little Jace looks horrified, nervous, and is squirming all over his seat to try and see what’s happening. Jenelle tells him to sit back, which is good (I guess) and then suddenly the white truck (my guess is that it’s David making sure she’s not driving to get back with Nathan or, even better, Keiffah) speeds up past her, goes in front of her and then slams on his brakes, which makes Jenelle have to slam on hers and she, Jace, and the carseat in the back go flying forward. I haven’t been this nervous during a Teen Mom driving scene since that one episode where Ryan was falling asleep whilst driving.
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Anyway, Jenelle quickly asks Jace for his phone and, for the 126th time since this show has been documented, Jace looks traumatized. She then calls the police and tries to give a description of the driver all whilst Jace gives murmuring commentary as the co-pilot. It seems like Jenelle is telling 911 some details that seem a little exaggerated. I’m not quite sure she was really swerving into the grass, but what do I know? I’m just a reviewer sitting on his couch watching this crossover episode of COPS.
Speaking of which, just when you think this couldn’t get any crazier we see Jenelle reach down low on the floor and take what looks like a gun and place it directly next to her. She then starts to FOLLOW the driver down a dirt road all while calling David and letting him know what she’s going. At first he’s kind of like, huh? But next thing you know she stops in front of his house, rolls down the window, starts taking pictures and video with her phone and yelling that she already called the police. Apparently the person yelled back that he called the police on her too. I love a “one-upper.” I actually can’t believe that any of this is happening, by the way. Thank GOD for those cameras in Jenelle’s car or we would never have known any of this. The MTV crew wasn’t even there!
Now the driver jumps back into his car and starts to try and box Jenelle in so she can’t go anywhere. Can you believe this? She starts freaking, throws it in reverse, and hits the gas. Evidently she ran over his mailbox so now he’s really pissed. So much so that he now uses his car as a weapon and, literally, slams into the front of her car with his so she can’t get away. Again, can you believe any of this is actually happening?! I’m all in! Meanwhile David is still on the phone screaming at Jenelle to get out of there and not to follow strangers to their houses. It’s the one time he’s actually making sense!
When the other guy won’t let Jenelle out, she does what I can’t believe she really would ever do, and that is to pull her gun on him. I was like, shiz just got real! Apparently the guy said something along the lines of, “You better not shoot me!” I mean, is that what you say to a person pointing a gun at you? Jenelle is finally is able to gas it enough that she can get out of there all whilst David is screaming at her for following a man back to his house. He was probably just jealous thinking it was Kieffah. I mean, the dirt road and all. Oh, and if you’re loving all of this now’s the time to follow me on Instagram. Thanks!
When Jenelle finally makes it back onto the highway and is freaking out, the cops pull her over and she just breaks down and starts crying. She’s explaining what happened, but her story is a little, um, different. Either way, the cop wants to see the damage on her car so asks her to get out and Jace is left inside with nothing to do except chit-chat with Barb on his cell. We couldn’t hear Barb (sadly), but we do hear Jace giving her the play-by-play. Per usual, I feel so awful for this poor kid. On the other hand if for some reason he’s a fan of The Dukes of Hazard, well, he’s just got to live it!
Oh, and other things happened this episode, but nothing more exciting than Jenelle’s scenes obviously. You don’t need to be a regular reader of IBBB to know my love of all things Roxeanne. You should just be able to feel it in the fiber of your being each and every day like I do. Anyway, Roxy and crew jumped in their car in Orlando and drove to Miami to help surprise-take-care of Briana after her surgery. Javi looked pissed when they all got there and blah blah blah. Anyway, she’s sitting down with Javi to film a private scene, which means she needs to be camera-ready. In this case “camera ready” means sporting a shiny black baseball hat that says “Vacation” across the front of it. I couldn’t love it or her any more than I do.
Roxy really tells things like it is and basically produces her own scenes. She should get a cut of the backend for that work! She wants to chat with Javi because she thinks he’s a bit suspect and, well, she’s calling him out on camera about all of it. She told him she thinks it’s ironic that he shows up to talk to Brianna the day before her surgery in Miami and when he knew a camera crew would be there. She also called him out for all those times over the years he told people he was getting deployed (back to war!) and then never having to go. Roxy says she thinks he’s an “ok” guy and not a “great” guy, but that he’s calculating with everything he does to stay in the spotlight. She then continues on with her monologue saying that her family is a real as they come and this is exactly what her she and her daughters are going through. Then, before Javi can even say a word, she says, “And I have nothing else to say to you” and starts to get up to leave. Slow clap for Roxanne. She’s 100% articulated what we’ve all been thinking for years. Javi packs up and leaves and Brittany keeps stealing all the scenes by referring to herself as “Captain Save-a-Ho.” Please give her a spin-off. PLEASE.
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