It seems like just 143 episodes ago and the season started. Now we’re at the reunion already! Time sure flies when your Mondays are absolute nightmares. This time around it appears they’re trying to make this reunion more like a Real Housewives reunion by seating all the moms together on the couches at the same time. Everyone looks like they’re ready to Shasta in their britches. Dr. Drew, of course, is in his maroon t-shirt and blazer which is giving us early Paula Poundstone vibes, but I digress.
I don’t love how we didn’t really get into the nitty gritty of things during this episode. Want to know where we did get into the thick of things? When I interviewed Kail for a Facebook Show, “Shot Topics” recently. If you love me at all and appreciate the YEARS I’ve recapped Teen Mom for y’all, you’ll take a quick watch of my show below AND you’ll share the video with all your Teen Mom friends on Facebook AND you’ll follow the Shot Topics show on Facebook. In this episode we talk all things Javi, Jo, Janet and Suzi. God bless.
Back to the reunion. Everyone was pretty boring so I’ll skip all the parts where nobody talked about anything of interest (read: Chelsea). Jenelle popped out on stage with some Fergi-like hairstyle where her baby hairs in the front of her head were braided within an inch of their life. I don’t even think you can undo those braids? I think you just have to burn them off your head when you’re done with “the look.”
The whole time Jenelle is talking with Dr. Drew, they pretty much have a split-screen with David backstage. He is NOT loving the questions that Dr. Drew is asking Jenelle. In her defense he pretty much is grilling her about her bad taste in men, trying to figure out if David his Kaiser, and keeps telling Jenelle she’s lying when she says she doesn’t care about Barb. Poor Barb. At one point David calls Dr. Drew the “F” word, but I was confused on the use because he said, “Dr. Drew is probably a F.” One can only imagine.
Once the first part of Jenelle’s segment is over, David crashes the stage and just creepily hovers over her and says, “I’m leaving. You coming?” Such a personal question I didn’t think you were allowed to ask on television. Jenelle has no clue why David is so mad or why he’s leaving, but she awkwardly giggles to Dr. Drew and says she’ll be back. She follows David out backstage and they both leave because David is “all done.” But don’t be upset that Jenelle’s topics are over because they’re not. Nathan is back!
Nathan is out on stage in a white blouse with high and tight sleeves talking about how he thinks David is controlling and how he didn’t appreciate the episode where David grabbed Kaiser by the arm and pulled him up. Honestly, that freaked me out too a little. Remember that episode? Suddenly in an off-script moment, Kaiser’s mom comes out on stage and shakily tells everyone that Nathan is a good man and how she’s worked her whole life and thinks that there’s drug abuse in Jenelle’s house. She also tells a story where allegedly she picked Kaiser up from school and he immediately told her that David punched him in the head. This is all insanity, you guys. I don’t know who to believe, but I’m all in.
In the end, we got to spend a little time with Barb, but she was crying the whole time. It makes me so sad when Barb cries. She’s upset that Jenelle hates her and she can’t even see the new baby. Oh please, there will be plenty of more new babies to see one day and you know it! Things did take a lighter turn when Dr. Drew asked Barb if she was dating anyone and she said “no way, man!” She explains that she doesn’t need a man and doesn’t want one. She then told us some story about how she was on Tinder for her MTV special and told the producer she wanted to meet a man with a boat and suddenly all her dates were guys who owned boats and were named “Captain” but she didn’t want to have sex on a boat because she thought the guys would smell like fish. No, seriously, that whole story took place. She then laughed out loud at her own story. God, I love Barb.
I believe next week is the episode everyone is waiting for where, allegedly, someone pulls a knife. See you then! And thanks for watching my Shot Topics interview and sharing it with all your Facebook friends because, this is the closest I’ve ever been to selling out and need to get to Barb.