48 Things You Need To Know from the Teen Mom 2 Season Premiere

Seems like the perfect night to live-tweet a little #TeenMom2. See you in 10!

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

Welcome to the new season of #TeenMom2. There is no mathematical formula to know which baby Jenelle is on #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

Take a shot of Pitocin if Nathan bleached his male-pattern-curls #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

Lot of crosses at Randy's houses. Many crosses, not many birth control options. #CrossAcrossYourVag #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

Good for Chelsea buying a house. I've rented in NYC for 7 years and spent upwards of $10.2 Million Dollars/Yen. #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

My heart beats every time Randy's wife Rita pumps on the backyard swing. #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

If Adam goes to jail will he be lovers with Nathan? Kinda like Orange is the New Black in reverse? #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

Finding out which state Issac is in is like playing a modern day version of Carmen Sandiego #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

I swear if Janet doesn't show her face/booty pop ONCE this season I'm suing Twitter for reasons that will be clear to Twitter #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

No matter what state you're residing in, if you're Kail there is a puffy leather couch with your name on it. #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

I wonder if one day Lincoln will grow up to be President? Too soon? #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

Oh Jesus here comes Leah. Check the expiration date on the cheez kurls #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

Leah working at any other place than a tanning salon is simply pointless #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

Corey hasn't got the wheelchair yet b/c he's building one out of wood wif his beaver teef, y'all! #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

Oh hi Jenelle #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

Nathan has a daughter already?! Well, not so much a daughter as just a really young girlfriend #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

Nice to see Amber's eyebrows grew back in from 2 years ago! I'm kidding. It's clearly connect the dots. #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

So Jenelle has to technically go to court for "paaahtyin' her god-damn ass off!" #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

So, technically speaking, which Village Person is Adam? Technically. #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

Um, Aubree didn't make a big deal about the car accident b/c she doesn't understand. Also, she sh*ts her pants. #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

Leah's hair extensions look SO GOOD! It's like My Little Pony is dry humping her head! #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

Where's Corey's camo hat?! Oh it's right there. On his head. Like always. Super-glued. #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

Leah looks like the Campbell Soup kid w/ those rosy-red-cheeks. #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

Also, Corey can't say "muscular dystrohpy" either. As long as Ali can say: tanning, food stamps, and hair spray I think she's fine.

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

When I see "Cliffside Malibu" rehab commercials during #TeenMom2 it's like the universe is talking directly to me. #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

The nurse is like, "Hey Jenelle! You here for your weekly abort?" #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

It's a boy Jenelle! It's like the little boy you've always wanted! Oh. Wait. #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

I mean if you name your baby Lincoln you have to, like, free the slaves by law, right? Riiiight? #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

Why does Javi want to give Issac a bath so bad? Perv. #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

So Corey's wife is that Human Barbie, no? Like, the viral sensation? #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

Every season Chelsea is surrounded by 10 feet of snow and legal documents from Adam. Same/same. Plus she's orange #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

As a country we need to know more about Chelsea's friend. He's like a hologram of a person of sorts. #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

Is Chelsea getting sued for illegally waxing vaginas and posting "after" results on Instagram? Good to know that's a law. #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

Jace greeting Jenelle at the front door is like opening the door to strangers. Pet her puppy and get in the van #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

Barb is a rockstar at finding d*ck in an ultrasound. It's like Where's Waldo White Trash edition #TeenMom2

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

Keisar is a nice name for a baby. It has a better ring to it than "Custody of the State Jr." #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

Jenelle wants to become a "medical clinical tech" most likely for the abortion discount #FinancialAdvisor #TeenMom2

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

"I can't be away from nones of my childs" ~ Nathan. It's like modern poetry. #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

What the hell is Chelsea talking about "the laws?" It's makeup in South Dakota! It's basically like styling the circus. #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

As a citizen of the world, I think it's sweet that Kim Zolciak passed down her season 1 wig to Leah. #PayItForward #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

I like Ali. She seems like a fighter. Good people. #TeenMom2 #MTV

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014

Everytime Leah tells her kids she's going to "spank their butt" I start to call DSS. Then I realize I don't have their #, so I hang up.

— IBBB (@ibbb) July 17, 2014