Spencer Pratt Quits “The Hills” to Take a Glamorous Job in Desktop Support

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I mean come on now.  Seriously.  Which lever to I pull for the anvil to fall on my head?  Heidi and Spencer are continuing their prank on America by coming up with new and ridiculous stories, none of which I buy.  Not one.  I do want to go on record saying I don’t believe any of this.  I don’t believe Heidi got 10 surgeries.  I don’t believe Heidi fired Steve Sanders as her manager and hired a psychic to lead her career.  And now, I don’t believe the latest story that Spencer has quit “The Hills” for the season in order to fight cyber crime, per issue of President Obama.

In the latest craptastic reports, Steve Sanders says, “In the last few months I have discovered a new passion and new purpose to my life. With this in mind, I have decided to take a break from my obligations to MTV’s The Hills and discontinue filming any more episodes for this current season.”

Santa Pubes, who is currently studying software engineering with a focus on encryption at USC says he is headed towards working for American Defense Enterprises in their cyber security division.  Of course he is.

What made Santa Pubes want to leave all the glamor behind and work in the exciting world of “the computers” you ask?  Well you can thank, once again, President Obama.  Prattsicle says, “Upon learning of President Obama’s declaration that the ‘cyber threat is one of the most serious economic and national security challenges we face as a nation,’ I have decided to refocus my energy and devote my full resources to helping America face this and other unprecedented challenges.”

I used to wish that the lights from “The Hills” would fall on his head and knock him out during filming, but now I’m just left to wishing that he gets carpal tunnel syndrome.  Eh, at least it’s a start.

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