Man With Santa Pubes Beard Attacks Lifelike Q-Tip?

montag

montag

Oh wait, cancel the call to the police.  A life-like Q-Tip is actually one Ms Heidi Montag and the man with the Santa pubes beard is actual one Mr. Santa Pubes Pratt.  I was wondering why the paparazzi wasn’t doing anything?!  Heidi and Steve Sanders continued their “We’re Going to Burn in Hell One Day” victory tour around Robertson Blvd for some much needed camera time and then ended up at a mattress store in which the two used-douche-bags hopped on a bed and played like children with rabies.

I like how that the more time that passes, the more that Heidi is starting to look like Cousin It.  At this point she’s basically like a wig hanging on a broomstick….and as talented! Steve Sanders, too, is starting to just turn into a hairball.  They better be careful if they’re ever around Heidi’s horse in Crested Butte.  I don’t want that precious horse coughing up hair….before it gets slaughtered to make glue.  Just sayin’.

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