A Two-Headed Montag Monster…..and Heidi’s Mom is Suddenly the New Dina Lohan

I couldn’t decide on what to title this post so I combined them. I own this crap. I get to decide. Anyhills, my worst nightmare has come true (Siamese Montag sisters) at the same time my dream has come true (Darlene Montag is totally the new Dina Lohan!). It’s almost like Hills implosion for me. Heidi Montag, her more than likely douche-bag sister Holly Montag, her MILFless mother, Darlene, and Steve Sanders were all teeth and fake blond hair while they had a little dinner at STK in LA the other night.

I tell ya, a little lighting from below the face really takes years off. With the camera lights on Darlene looks like 25 year old. When the camera lights fade, Darlene is looking more like her horse that lives at Crested Butte. I miss that damn horse.

I know I said the other day that Holly Montag looked gross, but these pictures make me feel differently. I’m confused. I’m in Montag turmoil. At least you can always count on Heidi to be a complete fright-fest. And Steve Sanders with that extra shiny black shirt? Looks like someone raided Darlene’s closet before they went out. And is that a new perm I see, Spencer? Seems like setting it in rollers the night before is really doing the trick.

6 more sleeps until The Hills is back on!


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