Holly Montag's Drunken Birthday Wish (According to Me)

holly-montag-birthday

 

Dear Birthday Jesus-Wish-Giver,

Hey.  It’s Holly. Woooooooo! I am so drunk Birthday Jesus-Wish-Giver.  So drunk.  What’d you say?  Whatdyousay? Whaaatdyousaaay?  It’s my birthday!!! What’dyousaaay? Stephanie stop tryin’ to interupt mybithdaywish with Birthday Jesus-Wish-Giver.  God Stephanie you’re so like this. I hate you.  Stephanie?  I totally love you, you’re like my burp…you’re like my…burp….my buurrrp….sister. No seriously I like (insert tears) love you, like a lot.  Why’s Stacie here?  Why’s Stacie here?  She’s such a bitch. Stacie I love you!  Let’s show our tounges to everyone.  Oh my God Stephanie you’re tongue is blue.  Your tongue is blue.  Yourtongueisblue. Did you blow a smurf? Ohmygod did you blowasmurf?  Stephanie who’s standing next to you?  Hey you.  Hey…you.  You.  Hey.  I said hey you.  Oh, hey Stacie whendyougethere?  Stacie your tongue is totally blue.  Is Stephanie’s?  What? My tongue is blue too?  Stephanie did you just say my tongue is blue too?  Whendyougethere Stephanie?  Stephanie you’re such a bitch. I love you.  Hey guys, you guys wanna stick out our tongues and give peace signs and shit?  Hey guys, you guys wanna stick out our tongues and give peace signs and shit? Hey guys, you guys wanna stick out our tongues and give peace signs and shit? Hey guys, you guys wanna stick out our tongues and give peace signs and shit?  Oh wait was I not saying that out loud?  Oh my God you guys I just said the same sentence like a thousand times in my head.

Anyway, Birthday Jesus-Wish-Giver are you still there?  Ok so here’s my birthday wish.  Here’s my birthday wish.  Heresmybirthday wish.  We’re all driving home tonight.  Let Stephanie be the one who gets pulled over, ok?  Thank you Birthday Jesus-Wish-Giver!

Wooo hoooo it’s my birthday!  It’smybirthdayyouguys.  Hey Stacie and Steph.  When did you guys get here?  Whendidyouguys get….here.  BURRRRRRRRRRRP.

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