Saint Jennifer Lopez Starts a Cult

It has been a long long time since I’ve gotten to even write a word about Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx (my personal favorite). However, the Lopez draught of 2007 has quickly come to an end. Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx was attending the “Winter TCA Press Tour” looking like a cross between caramel topping and a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. I mean, don’t get me wrong it totally looks like she is wearing the rug and office chairs on the set of a 1970’s porno too..I didn’t forget about that! But, as much as I hate to admit, Saint Jennifer does look pretty decent even with her skirt hiked all the way up to her boobs, or as I like to call them “the lopez’s.”

Anyway in extremely disturbing Jennifer Lopez news, I believe she has started a cult. Here’s the proof. Jennifer just launched her new perfume, “Glow After Dark” (I think it smells like the champagne room after dark) and is kicking off a month long celebration. What does a month long celebration consist of, you ask? Good question. Well, the interactive celebration consists of the following:

  • An online video time line of J Lo’s life (no joke)
  • A JLoPedia (no joke) in which J Lo fans can contribute their own knowledge of J Lo (again, no joke)
  • Visitors can become “Glow Girls” named after the perfume (no joke)
  • “Glow Girls” may be flown to NYC to appear on the “Glow After Dark Show” (still no joke)

I am truly not making any of this up. I can’t even top the humor of this actual situation. Is she for F’n real? Well her song may say she’s fo’ real, but I think she’s fo’ crazy. Now do you all understand why I’ve been calling her Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx? Clearly after this “J Lo celebration” she is already a nominee for sainthood. In fact, she just pushed Mother Theresa out of first place.

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