These photos were taken while Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx was with her petite husband, Marc Anthony, at Top Shop, shopping a storm? Yeah, I have no idea what Top Shop is. And you know what, I don’t want to know.
Have you ever wanted to share a beer with Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx? Well it’s your lucky day because now you can! Oh, you just happen to need $2 million (that’s US Dollars, not Yen) and you too can get your very own personalized J. Glow. It’s been reported by drunken sources that “the simple girl from the Bronx” is getting paid $2 million to sing at a 30th birthday party that a Russian rich dude is throwing for his wife. See, you can buy love.
This Russian retard, Andrei Melnichenko, is reported to be worth $5 billion and wants to give his wife, model Aleksandra and her 60 guests a night to remember. What better way to do that than watch J. Glow lipsync to her own songs right in your own living room. Oh, and I called him a “retard” because I’m jealous that he’s rich. Yup, I admit it. How you like me now?
Let’s face it, I want to party with Saint Bronx. Lo too. However I don’t have $2 million. What I do have is $15.00 in my wallet PLUS a Dunkin Donuts gift card that still has about $4.00 on it. If I give that to J. Glow, do you think I could at least afford to have her read me some lines from Gigli? I hope so. At the last maybe she can ship out her mom, Lupe Lopez, and Lupe can show me some dance moves or something. We’ll see.