J. Glow Won’t Be Slim Goodbody

Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx has stated that she won’t ever be a size “zero” to Elle Magazine. To quote J. Glow, “I couldn’t ever be a size zero. I just don’t see how I could get down to that size and still be healthy.” Uh, Saint Jennifer Lopez? Yeah, I don’t think you could get down to a size zero. You leave crash dieting up to your husband, Marc Anthony.

J. Glow continued ranting, “It wouldn’t work. I have a butt, I have boobs and I have a woman’s curves; there is no way I’d see them go to zero. I hate to look in a magazine and see a picture of a girl who looks so thin she looks unhappy and as if she just needs someone to give her a good meal.”

You are so wise. Although, until you mentioned that you had a “butt” I didn’t know that. I never noticed I guess. I just assumed you were dragging a pool float around your waist. Who was to know? Oh, and I don’t think those girls who are skinny are unhappy. I mean, I think they’re the walking dead, but not unhappy.

Saint Jennifer finalized her interview why really going out on a Holy note. “For me, looking good is all about looking healthy, and the ultimate beauty secret is about being happy in yourself.”

Really? I assumed the “ultimate beauty secret” was being rich and famous and paying to look good, no? Was I wrong? I also thought it was making horrible movies and horrific movies on a regular basis. Come on, you know that’s the real secret. God bless.

Who Said That!?!