Teresa Totally Stole This Role from Gia (Fabulous!)

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I don’t want to oversell this, but what you are about to watch will be the best thing that your eyes have ever seen and that includes the time you saw Oprah driving through Texas with Gayle sporting Levi 501 blues and full camel.

Teresa, from Real Housewives of New Jersey, was paid in US currency to “star” in a commercial for Sizzle Tans and, well, I haven’t been the same since.  This is very reminiscent of Kelly Bundy trying to sell the neeeeeeew Allante!  I’m not quite sure I would want to use one of those Sizzle Tan beds, not because other people sweat in them, but because after Teresa delivers her first line it looks like she’s pushing one out but, like a lady, she tries to fit in a smile as she begins the defecation process.  Personally I think when the door opened Gia should have been in there with her eyes closed and then suddenly woke up and said, “Derrek!” Bonus points if you remember that.

Joe/Barney Rubble owns and works at a pizza place, laundromat, and section 8 apartment building and Teresa now stars in a tanning commercial.  I’m pretty sure we’ve hit every Jersey stereotype one can think of.  Ahhhh the American dream.


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