Who caught the Real Housewives of Orange County reunion special? Well I caught it like the flu. Overall it was a bit of a let-down, but I guess I compare it to the 57 car pileup that was the Atlanta Housewives reunion special. But let me just say this, I feel the need (as a complete loser) to defend and speak on Gretchen’s behalf after Tamra threw her under the bus.
If you recall, out of nowhere, Tamra let the cat out of the bag in regards to Gretchen possibly dating some guy named Jay while she was engaged to Jeff. Whether or not it’s true, who cares? This is reality television. Gretchen could steamroll over an entire football team in Jeff’s hospital room and I wouldn’t think less of her. I’m morally responsible like that. Anyway, Tamra tee’d off on Gretchen and Gretchen kinda just took it.
Who the hell is Tamra? She’s just some 40-something white-trash garbage heap who married into some money with a pervy-incest-loving son who would bang his mom, aunt, and cousin all at the same time while the Bravo cameras rolled. Her freckly overly tanned boobs are always pushed up to her chin and her Scarecrow-straw-like hair looks like it’s about to fall out in clumps. She wears that one shirt with those bedazzled diamonds around the boobs and has it in every color. No one wants to be like you, Tamra. If this is what 30 year old women have to look forward to, open the window and jump now. Her Lee-Presson Nails only add to her 1991 vibe. Toss on a hypercolor t-shirt and some Skidz and you’ve completed the package. You’re the “hottest housewife” in the land of $2 dollar sucky-sucky prostitutes. Mrs Roper is more appealing than you. You think you’re the “cool girl” at the lunch table. You are, however, the cool girl at the lunch table in the town where all the skanks from highschool got knocked up at 17, kept bleaching their hair, got giant boob jobs and then kept that same appearance while turning 41 yrs old. You’re cool at that kind of table. P.S, your house is the smallest one out of everybody’s.
P.P.S –> Watching Lynne cry and push snot out of her nose should win her some type of award.
P.P.S –> I’m a loser blogger. I’m allowed to say all of these things, but I speak for 3/4ths of America and .25% of Canada and .33% of New Mexico (is that in the United States?). I’m not good with math and don’t know what any of those percentages and fractions add up to, but I’m pretty sure it means that most people agree that Tamra is white-triggity-trash.
What did you guys think?