The economy may be in the crap-shack, but I must admit that I feel some comfort in seeing Kim Zolciak from The Real Housewives of Atlanta flashing her rack and smile for the paparazzi while walking into The Ivy in sunny LA over the weekend. While her Fraggle-like hair has been toned down by 3%, she’s placed more crazy into her eyelashes. It kinda looks like she has 10 individual Crayola water color paint brushes stapled onto her eyelids. Just me? Oh screw you.
Had I been at The Ivy I would have held up Kim with a plastic fake cap gun and forced her to sing “Tight Rope” into my cell phone, as I would like that to be my outgoing voicemail message. Then I would force her to drive me to NeNe’s house so that I could hold her up and force NeNe to sing “I Got a Record Deal, But Aint No One Ever Heard of Me” into my phone because I want that song to be my alarm clock. Later, I would force Kim to text message me that I’m a “low budget bitch” because I would like that to become my “Out of Office” message on my email. Yes, my friends, I would be very busy at The Ivy. Oh, and I’m still pissed how Kim deleted me as a friend on Myspace.