Elegance is learned, my friend. Elegance is learned, oh yeah. Elegance is leaaaaaaarrrrrnnnnned! Oh sorry, I didn’t realize you were all here. So what in the holiest of all hells was up with Kelly Bensimon on last nights Real Housewives of New York City? All the editing in the free world couldn’t have made her look any crazier. It could have only gotten worse if they had, literally, drawn a cartoon mouth over Kelly’s mouth and then just had the voice of Sam Kinison start spewing out the raunchiest of words and phrases.
First off, is it just me or has this entire season of Real Housewives of New York City barely taken place in New York City? I feel like the beginning was shot in the Hamptons and then there were 2 episodes in NYC, and then the remainder has been in the Virgin Islands. And don’t people call it “the” Virgin Islands? Everyone but Ramona does. She just calls it “Virgin Islands.” She says things like, “I love being in Virgin Islands.” Eh, what the hell do I know? I say things like, “pizzer” instead of “pizza.” I’m awesome like that.
Back to the task in hand. Kelly Bensimon is legit (allegedly) crazy. She made no sense the entire episode. From saying that Alex looked like a vampire and was channeling the devil, to relentlessly saying that she didn’t think Bethenny was a real chef because Kelly knows some chefs and they don’t know her. Yup simple math, my friends. Simple math, oh yeah. Simple maaaaaaaatttth. Sorry.
Things took a bit of a sharp right onto Crazy-Train Avenue, when Kelly told everyone that she thinks that Bethenny is trying to kill her. What?! If Bethenny really was trying to kill Kelly she could have easily just taken a sh*t in her food that she prepared for everyone and called it a day. Oh that’s the other thing. Kelly said that she didn’t like Bethenny’s food, but that she made an amazing salad. She then said, “She makes amazing salads. She could be like Paul Newman.” Right. Because everyone know that if it’s one thing that Paul Newman is known for it’s his salads.
When Kelly wasn’t telling people to zip it, taking the most creepy pictures of Alex and crew on the beach, talking about jelly beans and lollipops, and producing fake tears about being torn up in the press, she was leaving the terrace they were all sitting on having dinner and then coming back 2 seconds later. This is when Bethenny screamed at her to “go to sleep then, go to sleep!” Seriously, I want that as my alarm clock when I hit “snooze” in the morning. I want to hear Bethenny’s voice yelling at me to “go to sleep!”
In the end all the women, including crazy train Sonia, are convinced that Kelly has a chemical imbalance and decide that they are picking on someone who is, literally, crazy. They decide to defuse the situation for now so that everyone can be calm and happy and enjoy their toxic night.
So what do you guys think? Is Kelly hamming it up for cameras or do you think she actually is nuts?