Anyone remember the female mouse from Cinderella who helped her sew a new dress for the ball? Well if they ever make a real life Cinderella movie (not Whitney Houston and Brandy related) and need to cast that mouse and they don’t choose Jill Zarin from the Real Housewives of New York City I’m going to be pissed. I’ll probably march on Capitol Hill in protest, but I’ll work out all the details at a later date. In the meantime, Houseknives, Jill Zarin and Kelly Bensimmon (staaahp, staaaahp, staaaaaaph) strapped on some hair nets that they probably ganked from their maids and helped serve dinner to those in need (Simon and Alex) at the Food Bank for NYC Community Kitchen of West Harlem yesterday.
Why do I have a feeling that the only time that Jill Zarin steps foot in West Harlem is when she’s digging in the dumpsters for hired, yet illegal, help. And before I get the standard hate mail that says, “And what do you do to help people, you loser!” let me just say that I do help people. I help thousands of people per day who are stuck in cubicles at jobs they hate take their mind off their work and become less productive which, in turn, makes the companies that they work at think they need to hire more people since their current employees are hardly working. So to sum up, what do I do to help people? I create jobs all throughout the United States. You’re welcome.