Well maybe I would have known that Countess LuAnn de Levorced was actually singing “Elegance is Learned….My Friend” if the majority of her sh*t-show of a “song” didn’t sound like they used that special effect that Cher used in “Do You Believe…” you know, when it sounds like she’s singing through the telephone in a rusted out phone-booth in the bad part of town? Yeah, that. My friend.
Anymadeuptitles, LuAnn’s new song, “Money Can’t Buy You Class” is going to knock the burnt-down-fried-out wig off of Kim Zolciak’s pin head. Some people say it’s a dance track (I made fun of that person) and others say it’s the reason why we were born with ears (fine, I said that). While half of it does sound like she sang it over the phone into a Speak-n-Spell, the other half is my favorite part. The part I’m talking about, of course, is where she is kind of rapping and kind of talking and kind of singing her “Countess Rules” in a Madonna-like accent. With lyrics that touch upon things like texting during a date and not making a lady wait…and that same lady “taking a pass,” it’s only months from now that we’re likely to hear the phrase, “….and the Grammy goes to……”
LuAnn should stick with what she’s good at and what she knows. You know, cheating on her husband and doing coke. A lot of it. Allegedly. My friend.
Here are other lyrics that she could be singing:
“LA Laker Girls….My Friend.”
“Elephants Will Burn….My Friend.”
“Annie’s Got a Perm…My Friend.”
“Ankle Bracelets Curl….My Friend.”
“Elvis’ Sister, Pearl….My Friend.”
“Empty Pants For Earl…My Friend.”
“Everybody’s World….My Friend.”