First Look at the Real Housewives of New Jersey July Premiere (Video)

Christmas has come early for those “sans life” like me!  Bravo has just released a video preview of the new season of Real Housewives of New Jersey that’s slated to premiere on July 13th, 2014.  I hear that they’re still waiting to shoot the sentencing of Teresa and Joe and, well, I’m all in for that.  I plan on rounding up every prostitution whore I know (AKA all of you) and head on over to the court house for summer sentencing.  Join me, won’t you?

Check out the video and welcome back Dina Manzo into your life.  It looks like the usual shenanigans will be taking place, but just with a little less Rosie, which really hurts my blackened heart.  Although clips of Milania calling her parents “buttholes” on a loop is starting to fill that void.  I must admit that I’m psyched to watch this court case drama play out each week (it better not just be one episode) and, well, you know how I feel about a Gia ugly cry.  It’s ggggrrrreeeeat!  I hope when the judge sentences Tre and Barney they make Gia “sing-sentence” them.  “First you’ll serve one, then you’ll serve two, then you’ll serve three….“

And as if things couldn’t get trashy enough in Jersey it looks like there’s a set of twins this season who are really going to up everyone’s view of New Jersey.  Oh wait, opposite of that.  I mean, at one point one of the midget-like twins just says, “A women only needs two things; Dunkin Donuts and oral sex.”  I smell an opening credit tagline!  I also smell a large french vanilla iced coffee with extra cream and 15 Equals and a shot of Banana Boat SPF 0.