Why I Hate Dating Shows

It’s been a while since I went on a bit of a rant, so I kinda feel like it’s time right?

Dating shows have been around since the beginning of time, or at least since the days of the caveman. I haven’t checked my history book in a while (yes I have one), but I’m almost positive that the cavemen had the very first dating show. I just don’t buy them…at all. I don’t even think they’re entertaining, but like any decent train-wreck I feel the need to watch sometimes. The worst dating shows out there just happen to be on my favorite reality channel, MTV. I said it before and I’ll say it again, I do totally sweat MTV even though I am getting older. MTV reality show marathons on the weekends have gotten me through numerous miserable hangovers and I am grateful for that. However, the dating shows on MTV make me so uncomfortable. I’m convinced they’re all scripted and that everyone is reading off cue-cards.

You have, “Date My Mom” which clearly finds the most crazy families and has the moms literally pimping out their whacked out daughters or sons. I have no clue why you would want to date someones mom. Half the crap that comes out of their mouths is so clearly read that I get embarrassed when I watch it. One mom actually talked about her daughters “rack.” Oh, that’s sweet, but save it for her birthday card mom!

Then, you have “Next.” Seriously? Next.

Then you have, “Room Raiders.” Ok, so I kinda almost get this one, but the way that every episode ends totally boggles my mind. The guy or girl at the end is always like, “Ok, so room #1 I liked your basketball cards and picture of your nana, but you had dust on your pencil and that just freaked me out, so I don’t choose you.” No joke, the reasons they give on why they’re not choosing someone is insane.

Most recently there is a new dating show called “Exposed.” Yeah, in this one they kinda incorporate the bus/van from “Next” and “Room Raiders” and the random conversation of date my mom. The “comebacks” that each of the dating contestant say to each other makes me so embarrassed that I’ve actually thought of denying my US Citizenship a few times. To top things off, there is a person in a van who feeds questions to the guy/girl that is trying to choose the date. The questions are insane and not in a good way, such as “Have you ever taken a dump and then called your friends in to see it?” as well as, “What are three things that you like about Filipino’s?” Seriously? What?

I know, I know, you’re all thinking that I’m too old to be watching this stuff anyway. It just finally hit me today how much these dating shows piss me off. Is it bad that I sometimes wish the “Next” bus would crash into the “Room Raiders” van? I just wish these shows would go away. I’ll take Sweet 16 any day over these. Damn it. I’m old. Now only if these kids would turn down their rock music. The words don’t even make an sense!

Signed,