I Love Making Tylenol

I love making Tylenol. I love making Tylenol. Oh yeah? What in the holy hell are up with these Tylenol commercials. For me, these commercials drive me almost as crazy as the Sally “I’m better than you for taking Boniva” Field Boniva commercials. The commercial, if you haven’t seen it, consists of Tylenol “employees” telling the camera just how much they love making Tylenol. One lady is like, “I love making Tylenol, I put love in Tylenol.” Really? Love? How about just putting the ingredients in the bottle, is that ok? I’m all set with you putting your “love” into the Tylenol. Does that mean you’re dipping your “gentlemen greeter” into the bottle? How does that work? Anyway, they also try to get “real with the people” with one lady saying, “I love making Tylenol, uh-huh honey.” These people are psyched to be making Tylenol. In fact, they’re too happy to be making Tylenol. Jesus even the Dunkin Donuts guy (Fred) who had the fun job of making donuts everyday would say, “Time to make the donuts” and he’d say it with his head down. These freaks are making Tylenol and are hi-fiving over it.

I love making Tylenol. I want to make love to my Tylenol. I’m making love to my Tylenol. My Tylenol doesn’t mind, it likes it. I just proposed to my Tylenol. My Tylenol and I are getting married. Perverts. The following are pretty much the only employees that should be loving their job:
  • Beer makers
  • Porn stars
  • Bakers
  • Gynecologists (just saying)

Now make a commercial saying that. I love beer. I love making beer. I love porn. I love making love. I love cookies. I love baking cookies. I love vagina’s. I love seeing gentlemen greeters. See, that all makes sense. I love Tylenol. I love making Tylenol? Not so much.

I’m done.

I Love Making Tylenol

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