Hello my good people. It’s been minutes since I’ve last asked you to help me sellout. I’m kidding. It’s been seconds. As you know (LuAnn voice) I started up this here blog almost 6 years ago and it’s been my goal ever since to sellout and sellout big time. Yes, I’m as pathetic as ever and, quite possibly, much worse. Well the time is upon (and up on us, all at the same time) as Watch What Happens Live is holding a contest where they choose WWHL (as “the kids” call it) biggest fan to stand behind the bar for an episode or two. Clearly, my life has lead to this road. This long, creepy, and partially dirty road. Either way, I figured after recapping the Real Housewives franchise for what seems like 2 decades they, well, owe me. Plus, I’m quite certain that when I win and get to stand behind the bar on an episode of Watch What Happens Live, they will all clearly fall in love with me and instantly provide me with my own show. I’m pretty sure that’s how people get TV shows anyway so I say sign me up! And, in fact, I have signed myself up but now I need YOUR help. Yeah, I’m talking to you.
You’ve all taken part in a Twitter-Bomb or two, but now I need to you take part in a Form-Fill-Out-Bomb (or F.F.O.B as “no one” calls it). The form takes under 60 seconds to fill out. Please click on the image above or this link right here to get to the Bravo form and suggest me (Patrick Varone) for the bartender gig. Please be sure to fill out your own name and address but in the “Why I’m WWHL’s Biggest Fan” section write a little recommendation about yours truly (that’s me). Yes, this is as horrible as it sounds but I thank you in advance. Once I get chosen I promise to give you all the side-eye on the air. I know. You’re welcome. P.S., one entry per person.