Old Navy Event & IBBB. Never a Good Mix

Gather around kids because it’s time for “Story Time with IBBB.” Pull out the nap mats and pour that 3rd cup of coffee that you typically sneak a little alcohol in. I know you do. I won’t tell. Anyway, I was lucky enough to be invited to this Old Navy event in NYC on Wednesday night. Yeah, I don’t know why either. I’m sorry though because if you’re going to have me show up somewhere with open-bar that’s your own fault.

I had no idea what to expect at this event, but I did hear that some celebrities from the CW would be there. I immediately prayed to my sweet and loving Jesus that it would be Tyra Banks so that I could FINALLY live out my dream of placing her in a headlock and taking a picture. No dice. However, some people from Gossip Girl were there….you know, that chick that had her nose done and she kind of looks like she’s 40, but still kinda hot. Blake Lively? I’m not Googling it. Anyway, she was with that dude from Gossip Girl that looks like Zac Efron’s sister….Chase Crawford. Oh, and Sophia Bush was there. I did not get any pictures of those people as they were roped off in a VIP section that I, clearly, will never be invited into. But, don’t get me wrong and think that after about 9 drinks I didn’t walk right over and try to hop over the rope. Note to self: Security does not enjoy people jumping over the rope.
Next up, Natasha Bedingfield shows up and is ready to perform her songs. Now let me say that the British accent turns my stomach, but it seems to disappear when she sings. I also hate to admit that she did sing live and sounded insanely good. She sang some of her old stuff, her new stuff….and then she closed with “Unwritten” from “The Hills.” Keep in mind that there were only like 150 people at this event (how was I there again?) and I was right up front when she was singing. I made sure to yell out such phrases as, “Talk about Audrina,” “What’s Heidi really like,” and my personal favorite, “Did you meet Lisa Loveless!?” I really know how to class a place up. I also hit “tilt” on the “class-o-meter” when I realized that I was missing out on a wonderful opportunity to snap a photo of the beginning stages of some underdeveloped cameltoe (see photo # 4).
The whole night, DJ AM was there Dj’ing. It was comical watching girls constantly going up to him while he was “scratching.” Do the kids still say “scratching?” Regardless, I’m saying it. He was pretty good about it and even took some pictures with them. I, of course, wanted to ask about his thought process of going from Nicole Richie to Mandy Moore, but I had a moment of self control and didn’t. See, I can be an adult.
Here’s another good story. Remember that Russian kid, Andre, from “America’s Most Smartest Model?” Yeah, well so he was there wearing this insane fur hat. No joke it had measure about 2 feet off his head. It was huge. My friend Kate (person responsible for these pictures) goes up to him say hi (basically she did it for our viewing pleasure only). Yeah, well he completely ignores her as does his douche-bag girlfriend who kinda thought she was a model, but she wasn’t smiling with her eyes so she definitely wasn’t a model. We laughed. Kate really took one for the team and is willing to do anything for a laugh. Brilliant work.
But…my favorite part of the whole entire night was when I saw the girl who was in credit card debt from the episode of “True Life: I Live on Staten Island.” She was just walking around. No one I was with cared in the least, but I thought it was great.

Ok, well that’s all….that’s all I remember. Now get back to work. God bless Old Navy and God bless performance fleece. Mix it up Magic!

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