There are hardly any episodes left of The Hills this season and, clearly, they are saving the best for last. Oh, and by ābestā I mean āthe one where Whitney falls down the stairs.ā I couldnāt care less what happens in the rest of the episode, as long as I get to see Whitney go āsleddingā down a flight of stairs Iām content. Now donāt get me wrong, Iām not heartless. I even laugh when I fall. I just wish it was filmed. Sadly, it isnāt. Luckily, Whitneyās fall is filmed. Anyway, here are my brilliant, yet puzzling, thoughts on the latest episode of The Hills:
- Woo-hoo! Emily the āsuper internā is back baby! I am convinced that Emily is the daughter of Lisa Loveless. They definitely look like āmother/daughter.ā Not like Lindsay Lohan/Dina Lohan mother/daughter, but like legit mother/daughter.
- After two seasons, I just noticed that the opening credits mainly consist of the girls each doing the same āfaceā with their mouth open and head tilted to the side. Good for them!
- Why does Whitney say āfashion contributorā and put it in āair quotes?ā I mean, is that the title or not?
- Steve Sanders and Heidi eat Fajitas. Does Steve perm his hair?
- āThe girlsā have to work the Good Morning America Fashion Show.
- I wonder why the music they chose for this scene with Emily walking in is āLa Cucarachaā which is Spanish for āthe cockroaches.ā No joke. Thatās actually the song they are playing. If I were Spanish I would write a letter. Iām not, so I wonāt.
- Lauren Howell is back too. If you remember her from the last time, all the direction she gave the girls the last time was to make sure the area wasnāt āchaotic.ā Yup, she literally gives the same advice this time. Helpful. Somehow, though, Whitney still seems confused.
- The editor from Vogue is talking so high I canāt even hear him. Only dogs can hear him at this point.
- In my favorite āscripted momentā of the episode, Whitney surprisingly gets picked to be a model at the fashion show! Who would have guessed that!?! Certainly not me. Kids, let me give some advice to you out there. Youāre not going to go from intern to āmodel.ā Itās not going to happen. Study hard.
- Yes! Here it is! Cue Whitney! Live on Good Morning America, Whitney slides right down the last 10 steps. Oh, they make this look like itās āLiveā and I believe that it is, but it looks like they just taped up a āliveā sign and stuck it to the top corner of the screen. Ghetto. Clearly, I loved it.
- Emily really helps by saying, āat least you didnāt really fall, like really fall.ā Yeah, no she literally fell. Legit.
- Something is wrong with me. I actually feel bad for her. What is happening to my heart? What is this feeling? This must stop. STAT! Quick, Heidi say something stupid! Steve Sanders, quick cram more teeth in your mouth. Ahhh thatās better. Iām back.
- Lisa Loveless even has a heart and says some nice words to Whitney about āthe fall.ā Iām not paying attention to what she is saying, because I wonder if she sweats Whitney.
- As a surprise twist, Whitney may become the manager of all the interns. Kids, anything is possible. If Whitney can do it so can you!
- Sweet, Heidi wonāt move in with Steve Sanders so he kicks her out of his car. What is Heidiās comeback? She legit slams the door and says āstupid car.ā Awesome. P.S Why are Heidiās shoulders always so high? Does she have asthma?
What will become of these two? Will Steve Sanders and Heidi break up for good? Will there be a season three? Will my mind completely rot? No, yes, and yes.