Mariah Celebrates #1 By Dressing 16

Mariah left her NYC apartment the other day dressed like a futuristic farmer in heat (no clue). At what age do you stop dressing like this? I assumed 17, but I could be wrong. Anyway, Mariah has achieved first week sales of 475K, which is an all time high record for Mariah in her first week. Leona Lewis came in a close second with 90K. Ohhh so close. I could have sold more than that. In fact I’m going to start myself up an one of those albums and see how it does. I’ll sing into my tape recorder and ask The Hills to play the song and then I’ll put it on iTunes. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do. I’ll show you Leona. I’ll show you Mariah. I’ll show all of you!
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