Mariah Carey to Be Your Mother

Choo-choo! Let’s take a ride on the “Random Celebrity Adoption” train! Mariah Carey is rumored to adopt a Mexican orphan. Seriously, the kid is better off an orphan. Mariah reportedly visited a Mexican orphanage with her lawyer recently and there are thoughts that she is going to adopt her ass off!

When asked, Mariah said she would not comment on her personal life. That’s nice. She won’t comment on her personal life, but she will walk around with her boobs hanging out of her shirt and she’ll even sport some good old fashioned cameltoe on occasion. Good for her. I love me some crazies.

I wish these celebrities would stop adopting outside of the United States. Adopt here. Adopt me. I’ll take a Mariah Carey adoption. I’m almost potty trained and can tie one of my shoes. There isn’t much she’ll have to do for me. I mean, I would require that she never sings or plays her music in front of me, but other than that I’m up for whatever.

Who Said Adoption!?!

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