Wait, is Mariah trying to put me out of business? If I can’t post a picture of Mariah Carey weighing too much and showing off some Carey Cameltoe, what am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to write? How can I be funny? I can’t. It’s sad. It apparently makes me write short sentences too. Really really short. Really short. Short. Anyway, Mariah was looking like Hotty McNoSkank while she attended the Fresh Air Fund Salute to American Heroes in NYC. She definitely looks good and in shape too. Hold up, maybe she’s on crystal meth! Here’s to hoping! I’ll check her teeth 3 months from now to see if anything seems fishy. P.S, who says “fishy” anymore. Good day.